Karma
.1. If you are speaking at a wedding, and if you happen to be the sister of the bride, you might want to rethink a speech that begins with “…remember when you were a little girl and wanted a horse more than you wanted a husband?” and ends with “…tonight you’re getting married and so I hope that you know the difference between a husband and a horse…”
The reason you may want to avoid this is because the joke at every witty table will begin with “…sorry we couldn’t get you a horse…” and end with “…but look: we found you a jackass!”
.2. Men should wear red. All men. All the time. There’s something to be said for a man who can wear a red shirt and pull it off. Erm. The style. Not the shirt. Well… not on this blog, anyway.
.3. The Euro 2004 cup is behaving oddly, and I am slightly troubled.
.4. The other day, a brilliant poet named T. Anders Carson asked me if I was a writer, and I hesitated before giving him an honest response. That answer felt wonderful.
.5. If you have been genuinely betrayed …I would suggest waiting for karma to find its way back to them. A few years back, I was one very strong advocate for the ‘make your own karma’ camp, but after this weekend, I am a firm believer in letting karma take its own course.
I was betrayed – the sort of betrayal that leaves you paralyzed, in fear of human interaction because there’s this gigantic gash in the side of your head from someone you trusted, a gash based on complete and total lies, and one that had no meaning or intention except of malice. The kind of betrayal short stories are written about, the sorts of betrayal that make your skin crawl and your stomach turn, and from which not even your mum or dad can protect you. The type of betrayal that could potentially ruin you, should you allow it to.
Well…folks, this Friday past, I was at a wedding (see point 1) and had the absolute and complete utter pleasure of seeing the three faces that had actively worked to help me understand the meaning of betrayal (as well as pathology, lie, psychopath, thief, what have you) as I describe it above. That good type of karma, the one you let find its way back to those who did you harm…if you let it take its course, it does a few things to people:
(1) It doesn’t allow them to age well…be it the introduction of a fat ass, a hairy female face, and/or an overall look of stupidity and dumbfounded-ness plastered across said hairy face;
(2) It makes them dress really poorly and inappropriately for body type (read: fat ass) (i.e. large heavy satin wraps over even larger satin gowns, or fishnet over unflattering colors…because if your ass isn’t fat enough on its own, this kind of karma will convince you that it is best to highlight it with all the wrong cuts and fabrics, whispering sweetly “…shiny is flattering…”);
(3) When they look at you (every single moment they can, over every dance and through all of the dancers), the good karma makes the envy in their face drip down the fronts of their satin, the green shades so obvious to everyone, including those unaware of the betrayal; and finally,
(4) That fabulous God-sent karma makes you feel like the million dollars that you are, and makes the rest of the people sit up and agree (even the husbands of said fat asses).
.6. Sometimes, being petty and malicious is really a wonderful feeling. And right now, I feel great.
The reason you may want to avoid this is because the joke at every witty table will begin with “…sorry we couldn’t get you a horse…” and end with “…but look: we found you a jackass!”
.2. Men should wear red. All men. All the time. There’s something to be said for a man who can wear a red shirt and pull it off. Erm. The style. Not the shirt. Well… not on this blog, anyway.
.3. The Euro 2004 cup is behaving oddly, and I am slightly troubled.
.4. The other day, a brilliant poet named T. Anders Carson asked me if I was a writer, and I hesitated before giving him an honest response. That answer felt wonderful.
.5. If you have been genuinely betrayed …I would suggest waiting for karma to find its way back to them. A few years back, I was one very strong advocate for the ‘make your own karma’ camp, but after this weekend, I am a firm believer in letting karma take its own course.
I was betrayed – the sort of betrayal that leaves you paralyzed, in fear of human interaction because there’s this gigantic gash in the side of your head from someone you trusted, a gash based on complete and total lies, and one that had no meaning or intention except of malice. The kind of betrayal short stories are written about, the sorts of betrayal that make your skin crawl and your stomach turn, and from which not even your mum or dad can protect you. The type of betrayal that could potentially ruin you, should you allow it to.
Well…folks, this Friday past, I was at a wedding (see point 1) and had the absolute and complete utter pleasure of seeing the three faces that had actively worked to help me understand the meaning of betrayal (as well as pathology, lie, psychopath, thief, what have you) as I describe it above. That good type of karma, the one you let find its way back to those who did you harm…if you let it take its course, it does a few things to people:
(1) It doesn’t allow them to age well…be it the introduction of a fat ass, a hairy female face, and/or an overall look of stupidity and dumbfounded-ness plastered across said hairy face;
(2) It makes them dress really poorly and inappropriately for body type (read: fat ass) (i.e. large heavy satin wraps over even larger satin gowns, or fishnet over unflattering colors…because if your ass isn’t fat enough on its own, this kind of karma will convince you that it is best to highlight it with all the wrong cuts and fabrics, whispering sweetly “…shiny is flattering…”);
(3) When they look at you (every single moment they can, over every dance and through all of the dancers), the good karma makes the envy in their face drip down the fronts of their satin, the green shades so obvious to everyone, including those unaware of the betrayal; and finally,
(4) That fabulous God-sent karma makes you feel like the million dollars that you are, and makes the rest of the people sit up and agree (even the husbands of said fat asses).
.6. Sometimes, being petty and malicious is really a wonderful feeling. And right now, I feel great.
posted by just a girl at 10:24 PM
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