A wedding in Halifax
.1. Another wedding down (two to go), in Halifax this time. Possessed the stupidity of driving the 14 hours to and from, over a period of 4 days. Thank God the company was fun.
.2. Saw what can only be described as a ‘hobo’ by the Citadel in Halifax; he was falling over himself, with a gigantic bottle of liquor in one hand and a mobile in the other. Hobo on the move and with important phone calls to make, drunk or otherwise.
.3. Halifaxians are a friendly sort of people…even when you’re not. Cut them off and they smile at you…almost run them over, and they smile at you; it’s charming and a little stressful to be surrounded by so much nice when you’ve come in from the city after a 14 hour drive.
.4. There are cemeteries all over Halifax. New ones, ancient ones, funky ones, and simple ones. When I asked my girlfriend what was up with all of the cemeteries, she explained that it was Halifax’s way of reminding you that you’re gonna be dead soon; there’s no escape. Maybe that’s why people are so friendly? (Some of my best friends are Halifaxians…)
.5. The water must have something in it, because boy can they dance in Halifax! All summer, I’ve been complaining that people can’t dance. Well, that’s not the case in Halifax. The men can dance better than the women, and I was dragged all across the dance-floor to the salsa, and anything and everything Cuban. It was a pleasure, and a little embarrassing that the men could dance better than the women. I was lucky because I was dancing with a salsa teacher, and so I looked like a pro…or something close to that.
.6. There was a woman at the wedding who refused to smile. I smile, a lot. This woman gave me a twitch, and I had to do everything not to run over and pry her mouth wide open.
.7. There was another woman at the wedding who looked exactly like a snow owl. At first, I mistook her resemblance for ‘I think I might know her’ until she reared her head at me sideways and watched me, as snow owls are wont to doing. I think snow owls are beautiful, but this particular snow owl would probably scare the piss out of me if I were to see her in a dark ally (especially if she looked at me sideways).
.8. It’s official: Cowboy music makes me want to kill myself.
.9. Q. What is sexier than a red shirt, a goatee and long hair on a man?
A. Seeing that he’s in love with his own children. Wow.
Only problem with that is you’ll never know until you have children with the guy…terrible, really. Maybe you can stick him in a playpen and see how he reacts to surrounding children? I don’t know, but this is a tough one. Men who are selfless with children break my heart. It’s a shame they’re all married.
.10. Potty humor, bypass if you must. The day following the wedding, we went out for lunch with the families, and there was a little girl seated across from me. From the moment I sat down, I noticed that she was playing with a Kotex paper-strip (the one that protects the stickie part of the pad). She had some bubble gum that she was wrapping and unwrapping in the Kotex protector strip. She tried to make a plane with it, wear it as a hat, stick it in her ear. At first I thought *horror of horrors*, and then I thought that mum would have to be some kind of cool to think that an appropriate toy for her daughter (something hippie-sh like ‘this is a natural part of being a female…’). And so based on the latter of my thoughts, I tried to ignore it, but it was crinkly and we were at lunch and I just didn’t want to watch her fidgeting with the damn Kotex paper strip, because I’m not a hippie and I’m just not comfortable watching that sort of thing (though am completely at ease telling you about it). Finally (& thankfully), the girl’s mum noticed and just about fainted.
Imagine the ordeal, the pilgrimage involved in getting the Kotex protector strip to lunch: The girl would have had to find the pad, tear away the paper strip that so clearly said ‘KOTEX’, carry it to the car, seat it next to her in the car, sit down at the table, pull out her treasure and play with it. This is not a small task, and the girl deserves some kind of reward. Maybe a string would be apropos.
.11. We left on Monday morning at 6 am. As we were saying goodbye to our friends, I kept my simple salutation to “Good night” and I didn’t even mean it as a joke. I was just hazy and lazy, dumb and tired. I said it several times, and just didn’t clue in to what I was saying until the van door closed and I noticed the looks of confusion on the faces of those around me.
.12. In Woodstock, I found the following food items for sale: ‘Meat Snacks’, ‘Donut Holes in a Tin’ and ‘Pumpkin Pie Filling in a Tin’ (isn’t pumpkin pie filling just pumpkin? It scares me to think of what the filling portion may mean; it’s like the hot dog of pies, this Pumpkin Pie Filling in a Tin). If I lived in Woodstock, I would starve to death.
.13. I hate msn mobile messenger. Don’t send me messages to my mobile. I’m trying to delete that damn account, but I can’t. Help me by boycotting my own mobile messenger service, please.
.14. Never a good idea: Nails on men (grody) & white pants on either of the sexes or those in between.
.2. Saw what can only be described as a ‘hobo’ by the Citadel in Halifax; he was falling over himself, with a gigantic bottle of liquor in one hand and a mobile in the other. Hobo on the move and with important phone calls to make, drunk or otherwise.
.3. Halifaxians are a friendly sort of people…even when you’re not. Cut them off and they smile at you…almost run them over, and they smile at you; it’s charming and a little stressful to be surrounded by so much nice when you’ve come in from the city after a 14 hour drive.
.4. There are cemeteries all over Halifax. New ones, ancient ones, funky ones, and simple ones. When I asked my girlfriend what was up with all of the cemeteries, she explained that it was Halifax’s way of reminding you that you’re gonna be dead soon; there’s no escape. Maybe that’s why people are so friendly? (Some of my best friends are Halifaxians…)
.5. The water must have something in it, because boy can they dance in Halifax! All summer, I’ve been complaining that people can’t dance. Well, that’s not the case in Halifax. The men can dance better than the women, and I was dragged all across the dance-floor to the salsa, and anything and everything Cuban. It was a pleasure, and a little embarrassing that the men could dance better than the women. I was lucky because I was dancing with a salsa teacher, and so I looked like a pro…or something close to that.
.6. There was a woman at the wedding who refused to smile. I smile, a lot. This woman gave me a twitch, and I had to do everything not to run over and pry her mouth wide open.
.7. There was another woman at the wedding who looked exactly like a snow owl. At first, I mistook her resemblance for ‘I think I might know her’ until she reared her head at me sideways and watched me, as snow owls are wont to doing. I think snow owls are beautiful, but this particular snow owl would probably scare the piss out of me if I were to see her in a dark ally (especially if she looked at me sideways).
.8. It’s official: Cowboy music makes me want to kill myself.
.9. Q. What is sexier than a red shirt, a goatee and long hair on a man?
A. Seeing that he’s in love with his own children. Wow.
Only problem with that is you’ll never know until you have children with the guy…terrible, really. Maybe you can stick him in a playpen and see how he reacts to surrounding children? I don’t know, but this is a tough one. Men who are selfless with children break my heart. It’s a shame they’re all married.
.10. Potty humor, bypass if you must. The day following the wedding, we went out for lunch with the families, and there was a little girl seated across from me. From the moment I sat down, I noticed that she was playing with a Kotex paper-strip (the one that protects the stickie part of the pad). She had some bubble gum that she was wrapping and unwrapping in the Kotex protector strip. She tried to make a plane with it, wear it as a hat, stick it in her ear. At first I thought *horror of horrors*, and then I thought that mum would have to be some kind of cool to think that an appropriate toy for her daughter (something hippie-sh like ‘this is a natural part of being a female…’). And so based on the latter of my thoughts, I tried to ignore it, but it was crinkly and we were at lunch and I just didn’t want to watch her fidgeting with the damn Kotex paper strip, because I’m not a hippie and I’m just not comfortable watching that sort of thing (though am completely at ease telling you about it). Finally (& thankfully), the girl’s mum noticed and just about fainted.
Imagine the ordeal, the pilgrimage involved in getting the Kotex protector strip to lunch: The girl would have had to find the pad, tear away the paper strip that so clearly said ‘KOTEX’, carry it to the car, seat it next to her in the car, sit down at the table, pull out her treasure and play with it. This is not a small task, and the girl deserves some kind of reward. Maybe a string would be apropos.
.11. We left on Monday morning at 6 am. As we were saying goodbye to our friends, I kept my simple salutation to “Good night” and I didn’t even mean it as a joke. I was just hazy and lazy, dumb and tired. I said it several times, and just didn’t clue in to what I was saying until the van door closed and I noticed the looks of confusion on the faces of those around me.
.12. In Woodstock, I found the following food items for sale: ‘Meat Snacks’, ‘Donut Holes in a Tin’ and ‘Pumpkin Pie Filling in a Tin’ (isn’t pumpkin pie filling just pumpkin? It scares me to think of what the filling portion may mean; it’s like the hot dog of pies, this Pumpkin Pie Filling in a Tin). If I lived in Woodstock, I would starve to death.
.13. I hate msn mobile messenger. Don’t send me messages to my mobile. I’m trying to delete that damn account, but I can’t. Help me by boycotting my own mobile messenger service, please.
.14. Never a good idea: Nails on men (grody) & white pants on either of the sexes or those in between.
Labels: Travel
posted by just a girl at 12:34 AM
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