.1. Over the past 5 and a half months, I have had the pleasure of attending eight weddings. Of those eight, there were at least two which I could have done without. Naturally, and due to the nature of the game (& the way mum raised me), I attended even those I would have rather avoided.

At the more noxious weddings, I smiled, congratulated, kissed, and danced my night away as though there were nowhere else I’d rather be. How else is one to behave when there is nothing to do but shake one’s behind and forget that one is at a wedding of folks one will most likely never see again?

Anyway. I’ve realized that there’s nothing I enjoy more than being asked why I’m single. Depending on my mood, I usually teeter between “No one thinks I’m worthy of love” or “I thought I’d do something productive with my life.” Oddly, both responses produce the same result: Vacuous glazed stares waiting for the punch-line. So as to ease their idiocy, I wait a little while before smiling, then poking the women in their bellies before saying “Just kidding! I can’t wait till my body changes after I give birth. You look great!”

My great capacity to cruelty is how I protect myself. Additionally, if you’re going to ask an a.shole’s question, expect an a.shole’s response.

My last wedding was this weekend past, one wedding I had been looking forward to and one which I enjoyed immensely. Finally.

.2. God bless Montreal.

Le St-Sulpice is currently the most handsome hotel in Montreal.

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