Personal Genealogy Notes

.1. Attention to all whom I come in contact with (citizens, countrymen, Romans…): Irregardless of whether it is today or next month, you, that’s correct: YOU. You shall become fodder for my blog and the many books I shall publish en route to becoming a millionairess.

I will write about you sooner or later, in all your glory and / or stupidity. I love you, but I shall eventually make a caricature of you. But, I do love you, my caricature.

Note to you: Et tu, Brutu?

Note to self: May have confused Shakespeare plays and / or reality vs theatre. Check so as not to appear as a true imbecile, asap.

.2. My daddy is learning French (he is currently in Class Zero), learning to speak through his nose in an effort to pronounce “non”.

This got me to reminiscing.

My first ever French teacher was a lovely Egyptian lady whom I will run into next month, am certain. Although I cherish her to this day, at the age of 6 I quickly learned to say “Est-ce que je peux aller aux toilette?” (spelling and grammar all wrong, I know. Shut up.) so as to escape that class and the smelly child sitting next to me.

.3. Strange is individual reactions to my blog. Those who have known me for years through the Arabic community think I some kind of humorless icicle. Little did they know that I have very lightweight blood and am as warm as a duvet.

They are reading and they are learning, and I am enjoying that I can still surprise them after all this time.

Note to self: Cosmo did always say: “Keep them guessing”, and so Well Done, self! Bravo.

.4. Sami Al-Husseini is pleased that my father purchased the “Pheronic” abnormally large cranium. Due to his relief, I plan to exact swift revenge on his person.

Note to self: Carry out following:
a) Take a photo of “The head”
b) Print up 100 normal sized copies of said photo
c) Print up 3 extra large sized photos on 10 stock paper
d) Paper mache all items in Sami’s office with the 100 smaller photos
e) Drape 1 extra large photo over his home
f) Drape 1 extra large photo over his car
g) Drape 1 extra large photo over self and follow Sami around
h) When I write my memoirs, this shall be referenced as “exact swift revenge”
i) Make millions
j) Marry Tamer Hagras
…not necessarily in that order.

Note to Sami Al-Husseini: Give it a couple of days and then google yourself; you will find my blog, I promise.

.5. Elisabeth is coming, yay!

.6. I have not yet begun preparation for my Saturday evening annual Holiday Dinner Party, and so am already behind.

Note to self: Learn how to become a much better hostess, so as to ensure that when the time comes, I am able to throw exquisite parties for our (Tamer Hagras and I) guests.

Note to self 2: Must eventually remove tongue from cheek, damn it.

.7. Often times, I have seen Asian men and confused them for my own family members.

This evening, my uncle was speaking to me and I was fixated on his slightly slanted eyes and unusually high (and beautiful) cheekbones. Am now convinced I do have some Asian running through my blood lineage.

Note to self: Right. Look up genealogy of last name and following variations thereof:
a) Zimyong
b) Zimbing
c) Zimchang
d) Zimchu
e) Zimding
f) Zimdong
g) Zimzang

Note to you: Am envious of all far Asian women, for they are true beauties.

Note to you 2: Am prone to hallucinations.

.8. Did you know that Poultry and Chicken are not the same? I was taught just that this evening while at a Chinese restaurant when much to my surprise, I came across the heading: Poultry or Chicken. It consisted of…chicken dishes…but who am I to nit pick?

Also, spinach is actually spelled spinash.

Stupid English.

Note to self: Tread carefully for may be related to the Won Ton House owners.

.9. There it is again: Me going to hell in a hand-basket.