Personal Television Notes

.1. Have had a rather morose day, if only because I am completely exhausted from the weekend and what lies ahead. For the first time in a long time, I found some quiet time for me this evening and wasted it all away thinking about absolutely nothing, television acting as my sneaky accomplice.

.2. Have you seen the new commercial for children’s dissolving Tylenol? You’ll know it as soon as it comes on because it is filled with germs, approximately 27 children sticking their tongues out at the screen.

.3. The stupids at Nike decided to make an add for China showing an NBA player defeating a kung fu master, a pair of dragons and two women in traditional Chinese garb. Is it any surprise this was banned in China?

Hear that Nike plans on hitting up the closer Saudi Arabia with a commercial showing Britney Spears ripping off a woman’s veil and shouting “Like, Just DO it, oh my god.” (Right. That was a joke; the stupids at Nike are doing no such thing…)

.4. Watched Las Vegas and enjoyed ogling JD; laughed myself silly when he jumped over a railing and landed full out to his 6’3”. Reminded me of me.

Note to self: Am feeling rather guilty about cheating on Tamer Hagras, but really must remember to find out if he’s married or not.

.5. This Wednesday, will be my dad’s date to a rather posh little dinner party; must buy something to wear and a nice pair of shoes to match. Have been told there is dancing at these events and so am looking forward to kicking up my heels when the time comes.

.6. Speaking of which, approximately two years ago, I decided to learn my favorite dance, the tango.

Have you ever tried to tango?

Well, don’t. It is the most difficult of the dances because neither the man nor the woman lead, and should be reserved for those who are serious serious serious about learning the tango; made a complete bumble of myself (and enjoyed it) and learned that I am best to groove to my own beat and not that of the tango.

.7. Would a bisexual be considered an 'equal opportunity sexer'? Rather interesting definition, even if I do say so myself...

.8. Must really eventually get round to telling you about one of my other infamous falls…soon, I promise.

.9. C is in Mexico, and I am feeling slightly sad that they are not around.

.10. Earlier this day, B and I were discussing the ways to know that the person standing before you is the one to whom you should commit (or at least try to force him to 2ukhtub you). I do believe we agreed that if you are both in the same room and regardless of how many people may be around, you are always aware of their presence and can pin-point them in case of fire and / or emergency.

Think of it in this way: If you are in a room of 200 individuals, you will know they are there before you actually see them. As they walk toward you, everyone else will morph (Kafkaesque) into large fuzzy dollops of muted color, while person in question becomes hyper clear, almost as though they are in 3-D x 10.

Note to self: Really. Must cut back on the coffee and the Hollywood blockbusters, asap.

Remember, kids: Am prone to hallucinations.

.11. Don’t use “irregardless” for it is not an actual term in the English language. It is a blunder and the term for which you search is merely regardless.

.12. Tomorrow: Smile at a complete stranger and say hello, warmly and as though you really mean it (even if you must stab yourself with a fork in order to utter a semblance of emotion, you calloused stupid; this, directed at no one in particular).