Unlike the last two experiences which took place in shopping zones, this one took place in a coffee shop.

It was also typical of my asinine and completely clueless behaviour. While working in Montreal a wee bit back, I stepped out for lunch on St-Catherine. Naturally, I had my laptop with me; it was wrapped in a scarf and inside my purse.

I have a tendency to swing my purse while carrying it. This habit I developed at the age of 4, when I was given my first purse (it was a Strawberry Shortcake purse and it made me smell like strawberries rolled in syrup. I loved it.) and my dad would place change in it. I thought it was cool to swing it around so passers-by could hear how rich I was. Am quite lucky I was fat and cute, otherwise I would have just been ugly, noisy and annoying.

Standing in line at Second Cup, I was bumping my laptop off the counter. Or so I thought.

The gentleman in front of me turned around and asked: Are you having fun? which I thought was an odd question, but I immediately slipped into surfer mode and responded with: Yeah, totally, and smiled because I thought ‘how nice of him to want to know’. He started laughing.

Honestly, I had no idea what was going on, or what I’d said that was so funny.

I kept swinging my purse…only now it had stopped bouncing off the counter.

When R stopped laughing, he said: You know that you’ve been bouncing that [pointing at my purse encased laptop] off my leg since you stood behind me, right?

Because I had forgotten that my laptop was actually inside of my purse until he mentioned my swinging habit (hee), I offered the stellar response of: Oh my god, I hope I didn’t ruin my laptop!

He thought it was funny that I didn’t care about his leg.

He was attractive, gregarious and forward, which is really nice (go Montreal boys!)…but still not my type.

He flattered me by telling me I had pretty eyes and a beautiful smile; and as all y’all are aware, flattery will get you everywhere…but not my phone number.

He insisted he buy my coffee, but I refused because I don’t like obligation of any type.

He insisted I take his number, which I started to do, because I felt bad…but told him I wouldn’t call him…but here’s the thing: I was placing his number into my mobile, and by accident, I clicked the Menu button rather than the OK button and so it didn’t save. So, I immediately knew I wasn’t supposed to even have his number, but I didn’t tell him that. The mobile angels had made their decisions and I went along with them; I pretended it was saved. And said goodbye quickly, because am a shit liar.

Of all the boys I have met randomly at this point, he was – by far – the coolest.

I hope R is happy.

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