I Crunched On Him

Oh my god this is just the most exciting news and I can’t believe I’ve not mentioned it before today (my ailing mind. Perhaps ‘tis just the multitude of Gerry Butler in 300 photos.)!

I’ve totally reconnected with the first boy I ever had a crunch on. Crunches are more fun than crushes. I was all of 6 years old and he was the resident hottie in my class. He totally looked like he was 7! *Swoon*!

He disliked me because I was better at English than he was. I tease him about this now…and will eventually stop. But not yet.

He used to pick me up on his bicycle. I had my own tricycle then; that was a lot of fun. Especially in Gaza. Because you never really ride a bicycle there, you actually off-road on sand dunes. Even when you’re 6 years old and on a tricycle that has tassels. And in a dress. You, not the tricycle.

I tried to show off and race him, but always landed on my face. Not very different from my contemporary dating antics. And I think he used to have a crush (not as much fun as a crunch) on my best friend at the time: Rana. I was devastated and drowned my pain by crunching on the cafeteria dude (because he used to feed me and water me as necessary). But he was married. And had children that were older than me. But that just meant more people to feed me.

Forget about the logistics of the how we reconnected…

Point is, he’s totally cool & lives in Dubai. And probably has a licence. And maybe even owns a car. And I’m guessing looks, like, way older than 7 now.

He calls me ‘Sweetie’. And I hope he doesn’t mean ‘Sweaty’, as in “she was always sweaty after we finished off-roading on the sand dunes”.

All those who think I need help, please say “Aye”.