Actual Conversations Had On St. Patty’s Day
.1. “How long is the wait?”
“90 minutes”
…and 3 hours later…
.2. Maha: “K. Tash. I really really wanted to stay for the night, but I actually can no longer feel my feet or my hands. And. I’m having trouble speaking because my face is frozen. I can’t even focus properly because there’s something wrong with my eyeballs.”
.3. T: “Can you pull my boot off? I can’t close my hands. I’m too cold.”
Maha: Not really, because I’ve lost all feeling in the mobile parts of my body.”
.4. Random guy in line: “We should start a bonfire.”
Random guy in line’s friend: “With what?”
T: “Where are those hot chocolate paper cups?”
.5. Random guy in line: “That woman’s smiling at me.”
“She thinks you’re checking her out.”
“Yeah?”
“Woah. Now she thinks you’re smiling at her. Poor thing has no idea we’re actually laughing at her. Wave. Be nice…and. Just. Wave.”
.6. Maha to Random guy in line: “Sorry. I’m not trying to cuddle with you, I’m just really cold.”
.7. Maha to T: “When you ask me to stand behind you, and I do…please refrain from throwing your head back while you laugh.”
.8. T: “Can you take a picture of me with that Asian guy?”
Maha: “But we don’t know him.”
T: “That’s ok. Can you?”
Maha: “Erm. Sure. Just go stand next to him and be inconspicuous.”
And here's her definition of incognito (a modern day Mata Hari):
.9. Maha: “I’m 31.”
Boy: “What?”
Maha: “I’m 31.”
Boy: “Oh my god.”
Maha: “That’s a strange thing to say.”
Boy: “Wow.”
Maha: “That’s not much better.”
Boy: “…”
Maha: “What are you? Like, ten?”
Boy: “…”
He stared at me for a couple of more minutes before he finally said “You’re so hot. For a 31 year old...”, and to which I responded: “You have to leave. Right. Now.”
.10. As I was approaching the washroom, I was cut off by a tall man who stood before me and proceeded to perform “the jig” (e.g. With both hands splayed forward, palms facing me, mouth hung open, eyes wide, he jumped from foot to foot, bringing his knees up relatively high to the beat of the music).
Maha: “Waaaooow.”
Jigger, who ceased jigging: “I’m sorry. I actually don’t know why I just did that.”
Jigeer’s friend: “What the fuck was that?”
Jigger: “Oh my god. I don’t know. I’m so sorry. Please. Uhm. Go ahead. You need to get to the washroom?”
Maha: “Yeah, I do. That was some dance.”
Jigger: “I’m a regular leprechaun. See?”
And he held up a paper leprechaun and started making it jig. The look on my face must have said it all, because he put the leprechaun down and said: “I’m not even Irish. You’re really pretty. Are you Irish? You don’t look Irish. You’re really pretty.”
I was speechless. Jigger’s friend grabbed him and said “Dude. We gotta go.” Before turning to me and saying: “I’m really sorry.”
It was one of the strangest nights out…
“90 minutes”
…and 3 hours later…
.2. Maha: “K. Tash. I really really wanted to stay for the night, but I actually can no longer feel my feet or my hands. And. I’m having trouble speaking because my face is frozen. I can’t even focus properly because there’s something wrong with my eyeballs.”
.3. T: “Can you pull my boot off? I can’t close my hands. I’m too cold.”
Maha: Not really, because I’ve lost all feeling in the mobile parts of my body.”
.4. Random guy in line: “We should start a bonfire.”
Random guy in line’s friend: “With what?”
T: “Where are those hot chocolate paper cups?”
.5. Random guy in line: “That woman’s smiling at me.”
“She thinks you’re checking her out.”
“Yeah?”
“Woah. Now she thinks you’re smiling at her. Poor thing has no idea we’re actually laughing at her. Wave. Be nice…and. Just. Wave.”
.6. Maha to Random guy in line: “Sorry. I’m not trying to cuddle with you, I’m just really cold.”
.7. Maha to T: “When you ask me to stand behind you, and I do…please refrain from throwing your head back while you laugh.”
.8. T: “Can you take a picture of me with that Asian guy?”
Maha: “But we don’t know him.”
T: “That’s ok. Can you?”
Maha: “Erm. Sure. Just go stand next to him and be inconspicuous.”
And here's her definition of incognito (a modern day Mata Hari):
.9. Maha: “I’m 31.”
Boy: “What?”
Maha: “I’m 31.”
Boy: “Oh my god.”
Maha: “That’s a strange thing to say.”
Boy: “Wow.”
Maha: “That’s not much better.”
Boy: “…”
Maha: “What are you? Like, ten?”
Boy: “…”
He stared at me for a couple of more minutes before he finally said “You’re so hot. For a 31 year old...”, and to which I responded: “You have to leave. Right. Now.”
.10. As I was approaching the washroom, I was cut off by a tall man who stood before me and proceeded to perform “the jig” (e.g. With both hands splayed forward, palms facing me, mouth hung open, eyes wide, he jumped from foot to foot, bringing his knees up relatively high to the beat of the music).
Maha: “Waaaooow.”
Jigger, who ceased jigging: “I’m sorry. I actually don’t know why I just did that.”
Jigeer’s friend: “What the fuck was that?”
Jigger: “Oh my god. I don’t know. I’m so sorry. Please. Uhm. Go ahead. You need to get to the washroom?”
Maha: “Yeah, I do. That was some dance.”
Jigger: “I’m a regular leprechaun. See?”
And he held up a paper leprechaun and started making it jig. The look on my face must have said it all, because he put the leprechaun down and said: “I’m not even Irish. You’re really pretty. Are you Irish? You don’t look Irish. You’re really pretty.”
I was speechless. Jigger’s friend grabbed him and said “Dude. We gotta go.” Before turning to me and saying: “I’m really sorry.”
It was one of the strangest nights out…
Labels: Friendship, Photos
posted by just a girl at 7:03 PM
5 Comments:
Jigger sounds funy and your firned in that picture looks like she's having alot of fun.
What was wroing with ouyr eyeballs?
How old waas the "boy" who couldnt get past your age?
T
Hey T >> Jigger was indeed a funny guy. I think that had he not sort of jumped out at me out of the blue, it would have been much funnier.
There wasn't anything wrong with my eyeballs, lol! I was just freezing >> and the eyeball reference was an extra meaningless thing about how cold I was. It makes no real sense...just like most of my references on here.
And my friend is having a lot of fun :o)
I don't know how old the boy was, but he lied and said he was 29. I write he "lied" because if he was 29, he wouldn't have reacted the way he did. I'm thinking maybe 22 or even younger...
*sigh*
mmmmmwah,
m
wait, you're 31?
omg.
:P *does a little jig*
I actually can no longer feel my feet or my hands. And. I’m having trouble speaking because my face is frozen. I can’t even focus properly because there’s something wrong with my eyeballs.
replace "frozen" with "numb" and you have the equivalent of me on a sixer of the Kokanee. teehee
You didn't know I was 31? Not surprising considering I behave like a 4 year old most days...
I can't believe that Uzi's only 24!!
I can't remember how old you are, Michelle. I think you're also about 24 or 25, right?
mmmmmwah,
m
yeah, i knew how young you were, I was just being a jackass! (nothing new!!)
i'm one year away from 25. on the north side. heee!
Post a Comment
<< Home