Clint Eastwood Watches Karaoke Porn

It was a double birthday night Saturday evening with S and M (heh) celebrating the day their mothers gave birth to them. We went for dinner and Karaoke at Shanghai on Somerset. Am not a Sadist, therefore didn’t Karaoke.

.1. M gave birth to her own bundle of joy eight months back. She remains a normal female and refuses to become a MOTHER OF THE UNIVERSE. This was most obvious when her and S did an interpretive Waltz to a song that was being Karaoke-ed. A Barbara Streisand song, nonetheless.

.2. Re aforementioned eight month old bundle of joy, “it”…the baby in question is…

Well. For starters, it’s beautiful.

And then for runners up, it’s got a poker face. It’s weird. Not the baby, but it’s expression. If someone were to package Clint Eastwood today as an expression worn by babies, this would be it. And this baby doesn’t react to any cute smiley faces you may have; it’ll just shame your reject ways with its unblinking stare. It doesn’t blink. I pay attention to blinkage because people who blink a lot make me nervous and dizzy.

.3. Shanghai turns into a crazy They’re Here They’re Queer Karaoke bar on Saturday nights. The Karaoke machine is run by two guys, one of whom is Andy Warhol reincarnate, and a second guy who almost made me cry. Especially when he swung his bare ass around and mooned the paying customers (because that’s what we want to see while eating Kung Pao Chicken, asshole). (He would read that as: because that’s what we want to see while eating Kung Pao Chicken: Asshole!.)

He was a large Asian man wearing: large square sunglasses which were partially hidden by a large fur hat which was also hiding a portion of his large Heidi-esque long black braids.

On his body, he wore a large white skirt, which was partially covered by a gigantic (notice: not large) light blue lingerie inspired moo moo made of see-through material that was pleated and had twirly wire at the end, so that you wouldn’t miss it’s FEATHER LINING. The moo moo took up half of the restaurant; the guy wearing it took up the other half of the restaurant. (We were forced to sit in the washroom for the Karaoke portion of the evening.)

To complete his look, he wore large clogs and carried a large martini.

He came over to wish S a happy birthday (M had already left because Clint Eastwood wasn’t happy with the volume of the Karaoke). Right after he hugged her, they looked over at the same spot and smiled large as he held up his martini for the picture.

Only. No one had a camera. This made me point and laugh. (A whole lot.)

As we were leaving, he changed outfits and nearly knocked me over as he walked past. This time, I couldn’t even see what was directly against his skin because I was mesmerized (& blinded) by the STEEL SPIRAL TUBE that was wrapped around his entire large body. I don't know how he slipped it on, but I don’t think he should wear it in a lightning storm.

.4. There was a guy there I nicknamed Ginghamp. But we’re not going to talk about him; this is just a shout out to Shawn (that’s correct > the very same Shawn who hangs out on this blog when he’s not otherwise engaged in scriptwriting). We had a few great laughs and he’s promised to write a script where I’m the main character.

That’s a lie. He made no such promise…but I’ll corner him and make him make that promise next I see him. HI SHAWN!