I overheard the following conversation earlier today between two boys, neither of whom is over the age of 18. One of these boys was excitable, whereas the other was not. They were the perfect ying to the other’s yang.

“IGotARAISEMANtoLikeNINEDOLLARSanHour!”
“sweeeeeet”
“YEAHTOTALLYAWESOMEwithTheRaiseICanTOTALLYworkAllSummer
AndTOTALLYlikeSaveEnoughMoneyAndPAYFORSCHOOLifIHaveTo
AndThen…”
“hang out”
“NOMANjustMaybeBUYACAREVEN”
“sweeeeeet”
“ButThenIWasThinkingICOULDTOTALLYJUSTLIKEMOVETOCALGARY”
“and live with the farmers”
“WORKThereManCusLikeAtMcDonaldsInCalgaryTHEYPAYYOULIKE
30BUCKSANHOURMANthat’sLikeDOUBLEnoFOURTIMEStheAmount
OfMoneyTheyPayYouHereMAN!”
“sweeeeet”
“TOTALLYITHOUGHTWECOULDALLGOANDLIVEINAHOSTEL…”
“with european chicks”
“NOWE’DBEHANGINGOUTWITHTHEFARMER’SLET’SGOMAN!”
“sweeeeeet”
“DoYouKnowTheDrinkingAgeInCALGARYMan!”
“21″
“EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“sweeeeeet”
“YeahAndCusWe’dBeLivingInAHostelWithTheFarmersWe’dSave
LikeAlmostALLOFOURMONEYMANCusInsteadOfHavingSEVEN
BARSToGetTrashedAtWe’dOnlyLikeHAVEONEBARDUDE!!!!”
“duuuuuuuude”

A lull of silence is suddenly broken by the sound of the quieter guy’s thought worthy of ‘magnum opus’ labeling:
“dude. We could go to Calgary and prostitute ourselves.”
“NO!”
“yeaaaaaaaaaa man. We could screw 1000 hot chicks and charge 50 bucks each. Or. Like, we could screw 50 ugly chicks and charge, like, A THOUSAND BUCKS EACH. That’s like [I swear to God this was his math] FIVE GRAND MAN. Yeaaaaaa!”
“NOI’MNOTBIGONTHEPROSTITUTIONIDEA! WeHaveToWorkAtMcDicks!”
“Whatever dude. I’m goin’ to Calgary. Tomorrow!”

Sad dumb creatures.

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