To Be A Girl Is, Like, Totally Awesomely
I overheard the following conversation earlier today between two boys, neither of whom is over the age of 18. One of these boys was excitable, whereas the other was not. They were the perfect ying to the other's yang.
"IGotARAISEMANtoLikeNINEDOLLARSanHour!"
"sweeeeeet"
"YEAHTOTALLYAWESOMEwithTheRaiseICanTOTALLYworkAllSummer
AndTOTALLYlikeSaveEnoughMoneyAndPAYFORSCHOOLifIHaveTo
AndThen..."
"hang out"
"NOMANjustMaybeBUYACAREVEN"
"sweeeeeet"
"ButThenIWasThinkingICOULDTOTALLYJUSTLIKEMOVETOCALGARY"
"and live with the farmers"
"WORKThereManCusLikeAtMcDonaldsInCalgaryTHEYPAYYOULIKE
30BUCKSANHOURMANthat'sLikeDOUBLEnoFOURTIMEStheAmount
OfMoneyTheyPayYouHereMAN!"
"sweeeeet"
"TOTALLYITHOUGHTWECOULDALLGOANDLIVEINAHOSTEL..."
"with european chicks"
"NOWE'DBEHANGINGOUTWITHTHEFARMER'SLET'SGOMAN!"
"sweeeeeet"
"DoYouKnowTheDrinkingAgeInCALGARYMan!"
"21"
"EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"sweeeeeet"
"YeahAndCusWe'dBeLivingInAHostelWithTheFarmersWe'dSave
LikeAlmostALLOFOURMONEYMANCusInsteadOfHavingSEVEN
BARSToGetTrashedAtWe'dOnlyLikeHAVEONEBARDUDE!!!!"
"duuuuuuuude"
A lull of silence is suddenly broken by the sound of the quieter guy's thought worthy of 'magnum opus' labeling:
"dude. We could go to Calgary and prostitute ourselves."
"NO!"
"yeaaaaaaaaaa man. We could screw 1000 hot chicks and charge 50 bucks each. Or. Like, we could screw 50 ugly chicks and charge, like, A THOUSAND BUCKS EACH. That's like [I swear to God this was his math] FIVE GRAND MAN. Yeaaaaaa!"
"NOI'MNOTBIGONTHEPROSTITUTIONIDEA! WeHaveToWorkAtMcDicks!"
"Whatever dude. I'm goin' to Calgary. Tomorrow!"
Sad dumb creatures.
"IGotARAISEMANtoLikeNINEDOLLARSanHour!"
"sweeeeeet"
"YEAHTOTALLYAWESOMEwithTheRaiseICanTOTALLYworkAllSummer
AndTOTALLYlikeSaveEnoughMoneyAndPAYFORSCHOOLifIHaveTo
AndThen..."
"hang out"
"NOMANjustMaybeBUYACAREVEN"
"sweeeeeet"
"ButThenIWasThinkingICOULDTOTALLYJUSTLIKEMOVETOCALGARY"
"and live with the farmers"
"WORKThereManCusLikeAtMcDonaldsInCalgaryTHEYPAYYOULIKE
30BUCKSANHOURMANthat'sLikeDOUBLEnoFOURTIMEStheAmount
OfMoneyTheyPayYouHereMAN!"
"sweeeeet"
"TOTALLYITHOUGHTWECOULDALLGOANDLIVEINAHOSTEL..."
"with european chicks"
"NOWE'DBEHANGINGOUTWITHTHEFARMER'SLET'SGOMAN!"
"sweeeeeet"
"DoYouKnowTheDrinkingAgeInCALGARYMan!"
"21"
"EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"sweeeeeet"
"YeahAndCusWe'dBeLivingInAHostelWithTheFarmersWe'dSave
LikeAlmostALLOFOURMONEYMANCusInsteadOfHavingSEVEN
BARSToGetTrashedAtWe'dOnlyLikeHAVEONEBARDUDE!!!!"
"duuuuuuuude"
A lull of silence is suddenly broken by the sound of the quieter guy's thought worthy of 'magnum opus' labeling:
"dude. We could go to Calgary and prostitute ourselves."
"NO!"
"yeaaaaaaaaaa man. We could screw 1000 hot chicks and charge 50 bucks each. Or. Like, we could screw 50 ugly chicks and charge, like, A THOUSAND BUCKS EACH. That's like [I swear to God this was his math] FIVE GRAND MAN. Yeaaaaaa!"
"NOI'MNOTBIGONTHEPROSTITUTIONIDEA! WeHaveToWorkAtMcDicks!"
"Whatever dude. I'm goin' to Calgary. Tomorrow!"
Sad dumb creatures.
Labels: "Feminism"
posted by just a girl at 7:51 PM
9 Comments:
AHHH you used "awesomely!" though you may have used it wrong.. it's still an adverb, you know. LOL kidding. i can't believe that conversation was actually had. i can't believe you spent time typing it up for us. i'm glad you did though, but that is awesomely ridiculous and sad.
Maha, as awesomely as she always does, made me giggle on a Monday (and after a 99.99999% shit weekend, 'tis much appreciated!)
Gary Butter's porno mouth had you at "PEWL!"
Anjum, it appears I have failed you in an awesomely fashion.
No, wait. How about: Maha has failed Anjum awesomely.
Yes. That's awesomely better. Yes.
;)
Meesha -- F&%$! You used it right the first time, too. Apparently, am the only illiterate in the bunch. Am awesomely illiterate.
Happy you giggled.
Not happy you had a shit weekend. What can we do to make things better for you?
MICHELLE CAN YOU SEE MEEEEEEE?
AAAAAh. Gary's porno mouth. *awesomely*
xoxo
maha
Poor children in the mall.
The sad thing is, you actually wrote this down...
lol
Actually I quite liked your style here. I've never written anything without spaces like that. The effect was moving.
/s/ Andrew
Mr. Andrew --
re the style without spaces: I didn't know how else to portray the urgency in this kid's voice. Listening to him made me take very deep breaths on his behalf. I'm still not sure when that kid finds time to breathe ;)
later gator,
m
:) why do you have to make fun of others, awesomely misguided, dreams...
may be a bit off, but hey at least today's yuoth have a direction in life :)
A HA HA! I can totaly pictrue this whole convrsation HAHAHAHA!!!!!
But the prostitution thing is totally weird, and gros.
T
LOL! I missed this entry, how??
"SAD DUMB CREATURES" LOL!!!!!! You're fucking brutal. I love it.
;o)
maria
"Awesomely misguided dreams" LOL! I love it, Sami; you totally used Anjum's word!!!
And you're right. At least they're not out there injecting heroin into their veins. Go prostitution! ;)
xo
m
Post a Comment
<< Home