A Girl's Night Out

Because life has taken a very busy course for all of us, The Girls rarely get together anymore. We see one another individually, but hardly find the time to go out as a group. Trish (nicknamed: Kitty) now lives in Florida with her husband. She’s come ‘home’ for the weekend and tonight, we got together – minus one Girl, C, whose at home with newborn Trent – and went out for an exquisite meal and then found ourselves on a gorgeous patio for the rest of the evening.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve laughed as hard or for as long as I did tonight. There’s something to be said for 16 years of friendship, and these are all brilliant, hilarious and beautiful women who I cherish and love immensely.

Here’s Kitty


This is T


T, Kitty & E


Us. This picture I love because it looks like we’re about to be devoured by flames


E & T


& this shot of T & I, which is my favorite because it’s the picture to best describe the evening. We were about to shoot the same shot as the one above, with E and Kitty, only I was going to be kissing T. E was taking the photo and T and I were posed, until E pressed the button and my camera started flashing – an indication that it’s about to take the shot. What T doesn’t know is that my camera has a delay of a few seconds, and so she turned to me and stuck out her tongue because she thought that’s what the camera would snap. But due to the delay, the camera got our reaction to her action…


A few random notes about the evening:
.1. It’s confirmed, I am most definitely a girl drawn to men who wear jeans or cargo pants and t-shirts or button downs. Since when did men become so high maintenance? And who finds this attractive? AND WHY DO THEY CALL THEMSELVES MEN WHEN THEY’RE PLUCKING AND WAXING AND USING MORE HAIR PRODUCTS THAN I OWN?

.2. We saw a girl wearing a white Formula1 cat suit. I don’t really think I need to expand on that statement.

.3. As unattractive as the high maintenance man (the metrosexual), is a man who can’t hold his liquor. It’s probably one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. If you’re a guy and you can’t hold your liquor, then don’t drink and have a cola instead.

I met someone who can’t hold his liquor.

Over the course of the evening, this individual became increasingly whiney, belligerent and annoying as the night progressed and as he kept drinking. By about 11 pm, I was ready to start firing off comments to meet his own ugly ones, but out of respect for our mutual connection, I kept my mouth shut and opted to instead ignore him entirely and stay focused on any other conversation.

At one point, we were talking about breasts and the different sizes of breasts, and the following went down:
Girl: “My own boyfriend tells me I have small breasts!” (which we all heard as “My old boyfriend tells me I have small breasts!”)
T (thinking the Girl was talking about an old boyfriend): “Well, I hope you told him he had a small d&*k!”
Girl's Boyfriend The Guy Who Can't Hold His Liquor Or Maybe He's Like This All The Time: “Thanks!”
T: “Huh?”
Girl: “Oh my god! HA HA HA!”
T (realizing what just happened): “OH! NO! I thought you said your OOOOLD boyfriend. I’m sorry!!!”
GBTGWCHHLOMHLTATT: “That’s okay, I forgive you.”

YOU FORGIVE HER FOR YOUR BEING AN ASSHOLE?, my mind screamed and so piped up and said “You tell Girl that her breasts are too small?”
Girl: “Yeah. He tells me I need to get more boobs.”
GBTGWCHHLOMHLTATT, smarmy, smiling, greasy, bloated, looking at me.
Me: “You seriously tell her she needs larger breasts?”
Girl: “YEAH!”
GBTGWCHHLOMHLTATT: “She does.”
Girl: “Seeeeeeeeeeee! HA HA HA!” (For the moment, forget about the raging stupidity of Girl.)

Maha, with a smile and a laugh: “You’re actually repugnant, but you know that.”
Girl: “Aaaaah, I hear a rant coming on.” (We’d joked earlier in the evening about my ‘rant’ on Paris Hilton’s raunch and young women aspiring to meet that porn standard.)

GBTGWCHHLOMHLTATT, staring at me, still bloated and greasy and smarmy and probably just as T described…
Maha, still laughing: “No. No rant. I can’t even bother to give that sentiment of yours two more seconds of my time it’s so disgusting. I think you’re pathetic enough as is, without my pointing it out even further.”

Girl and GBTGWCHHLOMHLTATT actually laughed. It’s amazing what you can pull off if you say it in the right way to people. Had I delivered it any differently than I did, it would have been understood for what it really was: a direct hit on this guy’s character. Instead, it was perceived as some sort of a joke, which is fine by me.

T, E & Kitty understood exactly what I meant and were laughing for different reasons.

Another example of this guy's classy ways: he gave our waitress the finger when she turned her back. He’s trash. Just complete and total trash. And that this is the first time I’ve ever ripped anyone on my 2+ year old blog says a lot.

.3. I’m so happy that we ceased and desisted from the bar scene a solid eight or so years ago. It’s such an ugly environment and watching the outright prostitution of most of these young girls was horrendous. They could barely walk, they were so drunk, and even worse, they could barely keep their clothes on they were so tight and ready to snap off like an overstretched elastic. And their make-up? WOW. They probably start getting ready at 8 am in the morning just so they can make it out on time at 10 pm.

And haven’t they figured it out yet? Most boys are into simple beauty. Most men like a woman who looks like she’s got her shit together and who – when she wakes up the next morning – will look relatively similar to what she did the night prior. If a guy isn’t attracted to a woman who doesn’t look like she’s got her shit together, then he’s got self-esteem issues and, chances are, he’s a prick who likes subservient women. If he likes you with 10 pounds of make up, then you’ll have to wake up at 4 am to “get your face on” and back to bed before he wakes up. How is any of this attractive to either of the sexes?

Oh. And before you ask…I look like I have a lot of make up on, but I don’t. I’ve always looked like this > so much so that when I was about 12 years old, my teacher took a wet tissue to my face to take off my “blush”…the blush I didn’t have on. In the above photos, I have on only: eyeliner kohl and lip-gloss.