A Professoré Lost on The O.C.

As you are well aware, I have been ON CAMPUS for the past six weeks. Here are some of my notes from The O.C.

.1. I adore my ‘Professoré’ and my T.A. He’s in love with the subject matter (international politics / relations & globalization) and my T.A. has a killer sense of humor (more on her later). Starting with the Professoré, I will have to admit that I’ve needed some time to digest his unique language. Here’s a little taste for your amusement…

- Instead of “uhm”, “uuh” or silence, his elipses is “mmmmm”.

- He uses the term ‘Voila’ quite often and pronounces it ‘Woila’ at random and unique moments in his speech patterns.
E.g. “So how are you, Woila!”
E.g. “And the hegemony is Woila here. Woila!”

The oddest times ‘Woila’ is implemented is when he begins a thought with it, such as: “(silence) Woila! And so the Westphalian Peace Treaty is the topic of today’s discussion.”

- He has a Bulgarian accent and you must listen carefully to what he says so that you don’t get confused. Ok. Well, maybe I do, because M (seated next to me) is always translating for me. Some examples are:
- “met cao” = “mad cow”
- “jen is is” = “genesis”
- “hijacker” = “hitch-hiker”
- "corporate" = "cooperate"
- "ate 'em" = "Adam"
- "manure" = "manoeuvre"

…and so you - Ok. I - end up hearing sentences as thus:

“I picked up a mmmmm hijacker, Woila! and we were talking about the jen is is of mmmmm met cao in the US and how it is mmmmm Woila! oddly affecting how we, Woila! trade between us and mmmmm America. How can we mmmmm manure and corporate properly, I dunno. Woila! This may be something that mmmmm may date back to ate 'em.”

You should see what my notes started to look like. Really. I stopped writing anything down approximately three weeks back and have chosen to instead sit perched on my seat, leaning forward and squinting my eyes as I stare at Professoré because that’ll help me hear better.

.2. While seated in this perched position, my hand is raised indefinitely. Usually, it’s as soon as I walk ON CAMPUS that my hand makes the up-towards-the-sky move. I still don’t understand why people look at me funny, most especially because this is what one is supposed to do ON CAMPUS. Raise their hand, no?

So, I raise my hand not because I have anything interesting or intelligent to say but rather because I feel this is a must, a duty, a right I should exercise while surrounded by Academia and books. At the end of the three hours, my arm usually hurts. But that’s ok, because it’s much better than when I took skiing lessons and I was always in the dive position (which is your right in the world of ski).

.3. Actually, I’ve started doing this in meetings at work. The ‘raise my hand right’, not the ‘dive right’. Unfortunately, I did this while seated with my supervisor. It was only he and I and I raised my hand to ask him a question. Lucky he’s got a sense of humour. He in turn looked around the room and said “Uhm, how about…you in the white shirt” and pointed at me.

And actually…this raising of the hand in meetings has taken on a life of its own. Whereas once my colleagues peered at me as though I were somewhat mentally challenged, sitting quietly with my hand in the air and waiting my turn, they’ve now taken to falling in line and doing the same.

.4. Nancy. My T.A. I don’t think they fashioned any T.A.s after her on Felicity and so I was uncertain of how to take her at first.

Why?

Because she has a hilarious sense of humour and very obviously battles it while in discussion class. She’s also doing her Masters degree on the EU and so I can learn a lot from her since I know nothing of the Europeans except that I really quite like their fashion sense and their cities and their progressive politics (for the most part) and their academics, journals and landscapes.

.5. There’s a little group of people with whom I’ve congregated. Well…more like, I tag along and they’re unaware of my presence. But I think that still qualifies me as a member of the group. I'm sure they like me because they're constantly pointing at me.

Two of the women are in law school. Both of them are very French (damn their sophistication and elegance, most especially when wearing scarves) and very intelligent girls who, whenever they speak up, always have something quite interesting to say.

One other woman has a spacey dopey feel to her, but with edge. She reminds me of one of my dearest girlfriends and so I took an immediate liking to her. She’s very ‘in your face’ and that’s equal parts due to her age and probably the amount of pot she smokes. Or not.

One boy is from the world of science and is an absolute riot because his enthusiasm is infectious. This is his first ever non-science course and he’s profusely excited about both the materials and the unstructured nature of the course. The other day he referred to the selling of young children (by their families) into prostitution as a “by-product” and I convulsed a little in my seat (& shot my hand up even higher into the air). After we left discussion group, he followed me out and chatted with me. When he finally understood my distinction between internationalization and globalization he very nearly imploded with glee.

As an aside, and only read this if you care, I was opposed to recreating the victims / individuals as commodities because I am opposed to the economic substructure and oppression posed by globalization. For me, the end is to address the economic arm of globalization and so in order for me to battle that arm, I have to be very careful with my syntax, with the language I use. To reference such a group as some sort of commodity is to dehumanise them and strip them of both history and consequence (specifically: their own at the cost of the globalization of poverty). So, I challenged his use of the terminology because it is the terminology of economic globalization…blablabla”

There are a few others who shall go unnamed, but one I do want to mention is M. He’s probably one of the smartest people I’ve ever met; a walking encyclopaedia who must have an excellent diet to be so aware all the time! He’s a total nerd, but not as big as me. I hold that crown and he’ll have to wrestle me for the official dorkage of it. I’m looking forward to learning from him…

Next week on The O.C., we watch One Female Canuck grapples with Macroeconomics. While her classmates turn a critical eye to…important stuff…she’ll be working out her own model of supply, demand and the effects on her immediate love of Crack. Woila! Stay tuned!