We can delete the “(alleged)” from anything around Materrazi’s name. He didn’t say anything racially or religiously motivated; but rather, Zizou stated that:

“(Materazzi) pronounced very tough words about my mother and my sister. I tried not to listen to him but he kept repeating them.”

A sigh of relief is heard the world over because Materazzi was merely being a Zidanist rather than a racist or a…religion-ist. Someone fire those stupid lip-readers, already.

And from me to Materazzi, because I know he’s been braced and waiting for this: I apologise for thinking you lied re the racial/religious slur.

*phew*

Now we can rest easy that a fut-wah will not be called against the Italian national soccer team (because they really are the most beautiful to look at I am convinced that Cristiano is secretly Italian), and so we may commence making fun of our beloved and tempermental Zizou. Making fun of, in much beloved fashion, activity no 1: Watch this, sent to me from JaneH (thanks JaneyH & welcome!).

Making fun of, in much beloved fashion, activity no 2: Zizou?! Akeed you’ve heard such nonsense on the field before! WHY NOW? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Was it too much pressure? Were your shoes too tight? WHY?! France must be banging it’s head against…everything. I believe it was Pele who said that “in futbol, as with all sports, you must be willing to take both the “yo mama” and the “yo sistah”; the only item being off limits is the “yo daughta”. Ole! Ole! Ole, Ole, Ole!”

And, seriously: dubilu tee a’tch, Zizou?

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