Full Dispatch: Montreal

If you do a search of ‘Montreal’ on this blog, you’ll find numerous entries about that beautiful city. Although am there at least once or twice a month for work and whatever political issue needs attention, it always feels like a mini vacation.

These past few days have served as the exception to the rule, and I was there for a 100% break from all things work and/or politics related.

Every morning I woke up to a crisp and clear Montreal skyline, without a touch of humidity (this, unusual because summers in Montreal are normally blistering hot and at a 100% humidity rate).

Dining
We breakfasted on rich cafè lattes and later lunched and dined on seafood. Because am so familiar with Montreal, I was terribly excited to discover two new locations: Verses Restaurant & Le Sainte Élisabeth in the Latin Quarters (otherwise known as The Red Light district).

One of my favourite places to dine is Le ‘S’ Restaurant (most notably for brunch) because they have the best smoked salmon which is always fresh and smoked in-house. Their menu is typically French and so all food is rich in crème and butter. I recommend you try their grilled salmon in a cheese crust if you go…

Oddly, Verses has always been right down the street from where I stay, but I never thought to go in and dine because everyone seated in the windows appears to be of a different ‘sort’ / ‘crowd’ than I would enjoy. I go to restaurants such as this with my father, when he picks up the bill and I play pretend: proper.

The strangest thing is that Verses sits in the Nelligan, a typically old Montreal-style boutique hotel I’d never noticed before Friday night. Much to my surprise, and only after we’d finished dining did I notice the front desk. The world’s largest sign above the entrance: HOTEL NELLIGAN, has not once registered in my mind’s eye. In my defence, I do think this is in part due to a combination of the narrow streets of Old Montreal, and their cobblestone ways. 99% of the time, I’m too busy looking down at the cobblestones making certain I don’t trip and land in any given pile of horse poo.

All this to say that at Verses, the food was exquisite, the atmosphere wonderful, the female bartender a form of social inept, and the lobby most definitely seductive. Although I’ve always only stayed in either Le Saint Sulpice or Auberge du Vieux-Port I will test out the Nelligan next am in Montreal.

Pubbing
Saturday evening brought with it Le Sainte Élisabeth. I don’t even know where to begin with this place…

We ate on rue St-Laurent Elisabeth’s (belated) birthday dinner, after which she wanted to go for a drink and recommended this ‘little’ pub. As we were walking down rue St-Catherine and immediately before we turned on to rue St-Elisabeth, this was a little bit of our conversation:

“Elisabeth, we’re not walking anywhere after the night’s over. We’re catching a cab because although it’s still light, I’m already uncomfortable.”
“Yeah. This area’s a little dodgy.”
“Are you sure we’re heading in the right direction? I’ve never come down this far.”
“Especially not at night.”
“Right. Was that supposed to make me feel better?”
“Heh heh heh.”

At which point we walked past a man who graced us with the following: ”Hey ladeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. LADIES! YOU, PIXIE, AND YOU, ANGELINA, LOOK AT ME!”

To which some other man responded with: ”You lookin’ for some bitches! Why don’t you come and get me pretty boy? I’ll show you a little piece of Montreal. Wooo! Hooooo!”

Que Elisabeth: “AH! This is it, here.”
“That’s a pub? Are you sure? It sort of looks like a dive.”
“LAAAADIESSSSS.”
“Fuck it, whatever it is, let’s just go,” and with that, we moved our asses a little faster and walked in…

…to find one of the most beautiful terraces I have ever seen. The ‘terrace’ is in fact a courtyard located between four buildings. Essentially, you find yourself between four brick walls an average of four stories high, all of which are covered in ivy. Your ‘roof’ is one very large and old tree. Among the ivy is hung mild green and blue spotlights, colourful flowerpots and speakers.

This is the photo of the wall that was on our left:


The one that was in front of me:


And this is a photo I took while laid out on my back across two chairs, this is our ‘roof’:


By the time it was 11 pm, I was absolutely exhausted and still couldn’t help but stay because the music was so damn good. I loved it! Just go. No matter what part of North America you find yourself in, just get to Montreal and visit this pub. You will be thankful, I promise.

’The Gays’
Montreal is notorious for its equally beautiful and stylish population. When I arrived, I was taken aback by just how beautiful the men had become. More important was that they were all in top physical form. And none of them had hair on their chest. And many of them were wearing short jean shorts. And holding hands with other boys.

It was the 1st world Outgames and so within 24 hours of my arrival, I just stopped looking at all of the men because I assumed everyone was, as my mother would say, ‘a Gay’. Such a trauma for the straight female community when all of the beautiful ones really are gay. Lucky, Tommy.