A Pedally Cheidukah!

.1. Was at Chapter’s two days back buying Holiday Cards and searching for one Hanukkah card. I was staring at all of the Happy Chanukah cards wondering when they’d changed the name.

Then it dawned on me, and so like the mental retard that I am I looked over at the 17 year old employee, smiled and said:
“I like that they’ve taken the idea from The O.C.”
“Excuse me?”
“You know, I think it’s a great idea to mix Christmas and Hannukah and come up with this new word: Chanukah, like that skinny guy on The O.C. We need to find a way to throw ‘Eid’ in there. Like: Cheidukah! I would so totally buy the card that was all “HAPPY CHEIDUKAH!”, ha ha ha.”
“Uhm. Actually. You’re talking about Christmukah.”
“What’s that?”
“That’s what Seth Cohen came up with on The O.C.”
“Oh. Really? Well then what’s Chanukah?”
“It’s the actual word. The real word.”
“So it has nothing to do with Christmas?”
“No.”
“And when’s Hannukah?”
“Hannukah is actually Chanukah.”
“I don’t get it.”
“That’s the best card. Just buy that one and send it after the 5th.”
…and so I did, and so I will.

.2. The Chlamydosaurus Kingii tends to run in pedally fashion, which is a fancy way of saying ‘on its two hind legs’. It lifts its body up, stays as still as a ramrod and then moves only its two tiny feet at a rapid rate in order to propel itself in some direction. When it’s scared, it runs away backwards.

Staring out my window earlier today, I thought I saw a gigantic Chlamydosaurus Kingii carrying a backpack and running across the street. Upon closer inspection I noted it was no Frilled Lizard, but rather a man dressed head to toe in grey houndstooth, with matching backpack and a red scarf. The wind was blowing at him from behind and so his red scarf was up and around his face (much like the Frill of the Lizard). His hands were in front and curved forward at his chest (like a chipmunk) and it appeared as though he were fabricated of ramrod material. It didn’t help that when I denied myself view of his lower half, it looked as though he were rolling along rapidly rather than running.

I was tempted to rush over and scream “BOO” just to see if he would stand still for a moment and then proceed to “pedally” backwards as he stared at me.

.3. And speaking of rolling along, was at the airport the other day when I thought I’d actually lost it. At no point in my life have I ever questioned what I was seeing…until that evening. I was watching a girl roll along, until she stopped and then started walking. When I looked at her feet, she was in running shoes. There was no skateboard, there were no rollerblades, or small men carrying her around, just runners. I thought I was a little mad, maybe had a little too much caffeine or sugar or something.

I followed her around for a little and kept watching her do this. No one else in the airport seemed to notice, so I was pretty sure I had lost it.

Until I discovered this.

Oh My God, it’s CRACK in the form of a car. Imagine the possibilities. The speed, the agility, the gas saved. I’m buying a pair as soon as they make it in a stiletto.

.4. For those of you who knew, I coloured my hair again earlier tonight. The hues of caramel and red were fine for the weekend, but this morning I decided that I didn’t like them and so am back to my natural hazelnut (because “brown” just doesn’t cut it).