This is not a “Rule” for life, but more of a general recommendation I am taking the liberty of making.
I was seated with someone who was offering ‘advice’ to another. They said the following:
“So obviously, he doesn’t like you. Sorry was that blunt? I do that. Ha ha. I can be blunt like that sometimes. I hope that wasn’t blunt. Tell me if it was. Ha ha.”
I watched the face of the ‘blunted’ party drop as the ‘blunter’ went about their business. The blunted was too wounded to respond and so I jumped in with a simple “That was a pretty sh*tty thing to say. A little b*tchy, even. Oh. Sorry! Was that too blunt? Didn’t mean it…”
From this, I ask that you please be a little careful. Words are like weapons; I know this because Cher does not tell a lie.
If you are of the above ‘blunter’ variety, you are a callous a**. Before you open your mouth and utter sentences which need to be chased with a “was that too blunt?”, you are fully aware of the nature of your comments. You don’t just become aware of their nature the very moment you say them, but rather before you say them. Your chaser is cowardly because it’s a recognition that what you said was sh*tty, but the chaser serves as your defensive plea of “sorry, I’m just built this way and I can’t help myself!”.
Who the f*ck are you kidding?
Definitely not me. And if you wish to have a little more respect from the likes of me, then best to start off by saying: “Look, this is going to sound a little blunt, but I think you need to hear this…do you think you can handle this right now?” Because when you start off that way, you’re acknowledging it, rather than – via cognitive dissonance – hiding behind it later.
When someone is walking wounded before you, most especially when it comes to matters of their heart, make certain to hold their heart gently and carefully.
To the blunters: I don’t buy that you are ‘just this way’ because that’s not the truth of it. The truth of it is that you are an a**hole who doesn’t pay attention to the feelings of others. Most likely, you’ve been handed some lemons during the course of your life and instead of making lemonade, you sucked on the lemons until your soul shriveled up and died.
19 Comments:
Anjum said…
and to add on just a tad to your totally on-point post.. being blunt is not the same as being truthful or honest. One can & should say the sad or harsh truths but for the love of God, have some tact when doing it. You’re totally on point – the whole “oh, was that too blunt??” chaser is a cowardly attempt to not look so callous.
Sun Dec 17, 11:17:00 PM
Bluenosegirl said…
Bluntness is for people who have not learnt the grown-up, more complex art of diplomacy.
Mon Dec 18, 10:26:00 AM
Lisa said…
“Oh, was that too blunt?”
Blunt, no. Tactless, yes. Kinda like me saying “Oh, sorry, I take it back. Unfuck you.”
Mon Dec 18, 01:46:00 PM
Maria Calvo said…
I hear people doing this all the fucking time and it’s insane to watch it happen. I’ve done it once or twice KNOWINGLY, I admit that here. But I’ve always regretted it. It’s so sad how mean people can be and then do the whole ‘Unfuck you’ as Lisa put it!
maria
p.s. I love that you responded to them that way.
Mon Dec 18, 03:15:00 PM
Tommy of The Gays said…
Blunters ARE assholes. You should compile a whole huge Maha’s RULES FOR LIFE (aka How Not To Be An Asshole) and take it on tour.
Love you, bitch.
Tommy of The Gays
Mon Dec 18, 09:54:00 PM
Uzi said…
Now, that I have addressed the wife-snatching tactics of Maha in a previous thread.. here is why I have been unable to comment for the last two weeks.
First, Blogger Beta pisses me off. It didn’t let me sign in for weeks, at which point I did wish to comment but was unable to.
Then I didn’t read the blog for about a week, cuz I got busy at work. A lot busier. Why did I get busy all of a sudden? Thats a question that ties in very well with how I make a better husband than any Lester or Chester.
I got handed a huge portfolio a week and a half ago. I now do all the advertising for BMW Group in this country, both in english and arabic (surprising, since I don’t speak the latter). 2007 budget = 2 million Riyals. So yeah, at the ripe (if I may say so) age of 25, I have a job some would kill for. And I don’t even have an MBA yet. Neither is this what I want to do. I got much bigger plans- Global Marketing Director for Medicines San Frontiers. But at this time, I don’t want to brag, its all due to God’s mercy and grace.
So, Ms. Maha, do you want to take away my wife because I’m not good to her, or because you see more crack hits in your own future if you get me all to yourself?
Sit on that and bug.
I’ll be around.
.peace.love.
Tue Dec 19, 01:55:00 AM
Anjum said…
everybody just back up off my husband. He’s all mine!
Congrats Uzi.. on the job and on me ;-P
Tue Dec 19, 07:41:00 AM
just a girl said…
Anjum, you’re right about the difference. And naturally, there are moments where honesty – and severe honesty – are necessary but they can be dealt with in a diplomatic way.
Hi again Bluenose Girl! There have been so many people posting here on a one-time basis, that I’m really pleased to see you back ![]()
I agree with your sentiment!
Lisa, that’s absolutely brilliant! “Unfuck You”. It’s platinum. Completely. I wish I’d come up with that one, lol!
Maria, thanks. Your confession will go to the grave with us
Tommy, only if you are my road manager. Or roadie. But I hear you don’t swing this way!
UZI! WELCOME HOME! You have been severely missed. That sucks about Beta.
CONGRATULATIONS on your new job. You’ve made mamma proud, baby! So, will you be handing out cars soon enough? As a means to advertisement, naturally.
And…I can not tell a lie. I want you and the crack hits all to myself. ALL. TO. MY. SELF.
but then there’s Anjum to contend with…
Whose comment on here nearly made me piss myself. I love a woman with confidence. Maybe I’ll marry her instead.
Hey Anjum, will you share some of the crack with me? I’m a size 7.5 crack, and I prefer the stilleto variation.
xox
m
Tue Dec 19, 09:29:00 PM
A Montreal Paul said…
What you describe goes beyond bluntness into crass insensitvity. Best to avoid such people, I think. Luckily, there are people out there who know the difference between bulshitting and respecting other people’s feelings.
Tue Dec 19, 09:58:00 PM
Uzi said…
Enough crack shall flow to satisfy all craviings.
My religion allows me 4 wives, find two others Maha, and we’ll call it a deal.
But, no BMWs for anyone. Busy a hybrid from Toyota. No! Not because I am cheap, but because its better for the environment…
what? Pfft.
Wed Dec 20, 12:54:00 AM
Anjum said…
uzi, you can’t handle the two of us, and you’re already lookin for two more. bring it down a little, boy.
and maha.. *tips hat* I’m always glad to cause you to piss yourself?
Thu Dec 21, 12:08:00 PM
Tommy of The Gays said…
I will gladly be the third wife!
Tommy of The Gays
Thu Dec 21, 03:44:00 PM
Uzi said…
I think Maha took the “find two others” idea too literally. She’s still trying to gather women together?
Sat Dec 23, 11:35:00 AM
just a girl said…
Paul, absolutely. Unfortunate circumstance dictate that this person is a relatively permanent fixture for some time to come…:(
Tommy, LOL!! Uzi, looks like you’ve got a crunch
Anjum, I love the “?” at the end of your remark. Peeing = good. No2 (not so).
Better a dehydrant than a diarrhetic? (I can’t spell either of those words.)
Uzi, we have Tommy. All we need is one more
xox
m
Sun Dec 24, 10:38:00 AM
Uzi said…
Tommy, Look this is going to sound a little blunt, but I think you need to hear this…do you think you can handle this right now?
ok then.. dude, I’m not into guys.
Michael Jackson? maybe. Mere mortals, no. I’m not sorry cuz I prefaced this with what I shall from now on, call the blunt comment buffer.
Thanks for the tips on bluntness Maha, this is going to get me out of a few situations I seem to find myself walking into everytime I walk into a room with my fine ass.
Still looking for two women.. come one, come all. Pre-requisites include having listened to the whole Mos Def discography and being a resonably dedicated, if not ardent fan of of three other women sharing your husband.
Sun Dec 24, 12:22:00 PM
Anjum said…
Either way, I’d still be the #1 wife. In all manner & respects! ;-P lol. this is so silly.
Mon Dec 25, 02:36:00 AM
just a girl said…
eeeeeeeeeeew. Michael Jackson? Really? eeeeeeeeeeeeew. Not Gerry Butler? I don’t really know if you’re allowed to live here any more, Uzi.
Michael Jackson. eeeeeeeeeeeeew.
Happy you enjoyed the tip, dude. That’s what second wives are for. I can’t hold a candle to your first, but perhaps I can offer sage advice now and then
Anjum. This is indeed silly. And much more fun than one could imagine. What else are three Misilmeen going to do on Jesus’s Birthday?
xox
m
Mon Dec 25, 02:24:00 PM
Uzi said…
The word silly is too mild to be used in this context I think.
Tue Dec 26, 10:18:00 AM
Maria Calvo said…
You guys are insane and this is a funny comment thread, lol!
Maria
Tue Dec 26, 03:44:00 PM