If you’re still looking for something to buy someone; adopt them a Polar Bear. They’re warm, cuddly and white. They won’t get drunk around your relatives and they’ll never make that one inappropriate remark: “I think Jihad’s gotten a bad rap, dude. Now, let’s break it down…”

I just adopted one for mama. Not because we celebrate Jesus’s birthday, but rather because we watched An Inconvenient Truth last week and I know she’ll be happy I did this.

Merry Christmas, Christians.
Happy Chanukah, those of the Jewish faith.
Get drunk, Heathens.

Eid is coming!!