Rules for Life

I’ve not been moved to blog as of late; death, although inevitable, is rarely an inspired moment in one’s life. If I continue to falter re this blog, please forgive me and be patient…remember that my heart is currently in The Azores and I don’t have access to it except for the occasional email or text message she sends this way. I’m not responding to emails asking about this because I really have no excuse to offer other than: sometimes, I just can’t, and that has to be enough for this moment.

Because of all that’s happened as of late, I’ve made some changes to my life and am preparing to make many more. I’ve seen enough heartache and pain to last until – at the very least – next week, and so this week, I’ve decided to share with you a few rules to live by. They’re harsh but I make certain to apply them to my life, so I’m not going to go easy on you…

.1. Be good to your mama because she’s got God’s ear.

.2. Stop complaining and before you roll out of bed, learn to say ‘alhamdulilah’. It means Thank You God. Even if you don’t know whether or not you believe in Him, just do it.

.3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because this is one of the least attractive characteristics in an individual (I took a recent poll all over the world and 99.9% of the respondents agreed with me). It’s as unattractive as long toenails. Also, see point no. 1 above.

.4. Not everyone you meet in life is going to like you. Deal with it, already. (And if you’ve not figured it out yet, you’re not gonna like everyone you meet either, so stop being so self-centered.)

.5. When you someday have a family of your own, never leave single friends alone during any of the big Holidays. You’re an a**hole if you do and Karma is going to find you alone and crying into your sad single-serving turkey sooner or later.

.6. If you have them, don’t take your human rights for granted. For those of you whose “mood is ruined” when you hear about another People’s pain, you need to smarten the f*ck up immediately. Compassion isn’t a sport, it’s a way of life and if you can’t live it, then you’re some sort of creep.

.7. Stop envying what other people have; Envy (thanks, S) is a disease. You don’t have ‘it’ because you weren’t meant to have it or because you didn’t work hard enough to get it. If it’s the former, then you’re better off without it, and if it’s the latter, then shut-up and start planning the ‘how to get it’ phase of your life. Also, see points no 1 & 2 above.

.8. Floss your teeth. Dentures are never sexy.

.9. Remember that nothing is ever “too good to be true”.

.10. Forgive them even when they don’t apologize.

.11. F*ck up every now and then because it’s the only way you’ll learn.

.12. Don’t discuss your intimate dealings with those who don’t tell you theirs because, chances are, they’re just not into that sort of sharing. Give people only as much as they give you in terms of confidential conversation and save yourself a lot of time (much better spent elsewhere).

.13. If you have to hurt someone, find the nicest way possible. See above note about ‘Compassion’.

.14. Don’t put yourself in a position for which you’ll have to apologize later.

.15. Learn to apologize like a child because they’re among the few who really mean it when they say it.

.16. Do you want something? Then stop f*cking talking about it and start doing what needs to be done in order to get it. I can honestly tell you that there’s never been one thing that I’ve wanted badly and with every part of me that I haven’t eventually had…and that’s not because I sit at home and dream about my potential ‘if only’. (Alhamdulilah.)

.17. Be patient because one day, your time will come and someone won’t have patience to deal with you and you’ll understand what kind of dink you really were when you ‘just didn’t have the time’.

.18. Be humble and get over yourself, already. You’ll be a lot nicer and that can only be a good thing.

.19. Remember that you’re never the exception to the rule because life will be so much sweeter when you are.

.20. When you love someone, love them unconditionally and without fear.

Right. I think that about covers everything for tonight.

Musical recommendation: Forever Young, by Youth Group. This song makes me want to sleep on the beach.