.1. Parents do this thing that I have labeled ‘Parental Turrets’. At random moments, and for no definitive reason, they decide to offer their personal opinion and/or direction.

I understand that this is a “job” – this parenting thing – and so I accept the all-too-ready opinions and direction thrown out at random.

Take for example when my shirt is slightly above the line it is meant to be (which, from what mama tells me, is approximately 2.7 mm from the top of my jeans even when I am wearing another shirt beneath said riding-up shirt) and I am walking away from mama toward the car and because it is her job to instruct me, she doesn’t afford me the less than one second time interval required to reach back and pull my shirt down WHICH I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF DOING, ANYWAY but rather chooses to turret-edly say: “Maha, pull down your shirt”.

Parental. Turrets.

It’s a gift I am most certain to inherit when I someday seed.

.2. Had a lovely brunch with Sharon this not-quite-morning-not-quite-afternoon. I ordered the dish titled “Granola”. It said it came with fruit and with yogurt. So…I expected something cooked or baked.

Instead, I received a bowl of “Granola”. And by “Granola”, I mean drywall and cardboard. Or maybe wheat, barley and something oat-y. It wasn’t cooked and it was not a part of my multi-grain bread slice and so I didn’t quite know what to make of it.

As Sharon chattered, I sadly stared at my dish; I even took a photo of it because I was in a state of complete disbelief but I don’t know how to upload my photos from my camera to here and actually, I am completely mobile-not-adept because now my mobile camera only takes photos upside down and I don’t know why or how I made it that way.

So, I mixed up the “Granola” into the two tablespoons of yogurt, sour grapes and two pineapple slices. I stared at it some more and wondered how it was that the yogurt was eaten up by the “Granola” so quickly and YET the “Granola” still appeared dry.

I took in a spoonful and chewed on it for nearly half an hour because that’s how long it takes to chew oat-y stuff that is not cooked.

Isn’t this what oatmeal cookies are baked from, y’all? Aren’t grains supposed to be gardened and watered or something? Doesn’t “Granola” grow stuff?

I don’t know. Anyway. After taking two spoonfuls of the chicken feed, I pushed all of the “Granola” aside and simply ate the sour fruit. Then I had a Whopper with cheese and that made it all better.

.3. I am thinking of purchasing a Vespa.

.4. A few days back I saw a boy with no less that 30 face piercings of very small pointy studs. They lined his brows, lips and cheekbones.

How do you think he cuddles? I mean…he must, right? Everyone cuddles eventually, non?

.5. As soon as I master the art of uploading mobile photos, I will post some photos of Michael, who won a Moo-eye Tie boxing fight Friday night. And by Moo-eye Tie, I mean Muay Thai as it is taught at Bob Carver’s Thai Boxing Academy.

Michael won for Katie.

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