I was a member of CrackBook long enough to get hooked into its obsessive and stalkeresque dissemination of information.

Today I deleted my account and sent a wee note to a few people indicating my leave of KissMyA**Book and have since received one too many MAHA ARE YOU OKAY WHERE ARE YOU ORLY’S YELLING AT ROGER’S text messages. I love my friends. They are worried. I understand.

For the record, I am okay. I am merely no longer a member of SqueezeMyHeartBook. I am refusing to become a further slave to its brand of too-much-information. I don’t want to see whose Dating who, whose Broken Up with who, who Married who and whose Hooked Up with who and that the Status of someone is set to “[insert name] is Marineland”.

Moreover, I don’t want to see happy smiling faces when I want to smash my face into my computer screen because that would feel better than just sitting here and watching other people’s lives all glittery and shiny and new. “Maha is bitter and sad and in anguish but she will f*#@ing deal with it because that’s what this sh*ttastic life is: it’s to Deal With It”.

Katie mentioned earlier that there’s a whole new world of rejection. She aptly titled it “e-rejection”: When you ask someone to be your friend and they e-reject your sorry a**. It’s traumatic enough to live, we really don’t need to add yet another avenue by which others may reject us. And being “e-rejected” (© K) by way of someone not adding you to their Friends or limiting your profile are among, but not the only ways of being e-rejected. I’ve not yet faced e-rejection and I’ve decided that I don’t plan on hanging out and watching for it by constantly clicking the Refresh button at the top of my screen.

Maybe in ten years, if WherePeopleOnlyPostSkinnyShotsBook is still around, I’ll reactivate my account. Until then, to YourLifeSuxComparedToMineBook, I say: SUCK ON THIS.

And to those of you who made it through the rant and have come down this far, please let me recommend to you the most beautiful CD I have heard in months: “Our Lady of Broken Souls” by Marie-Josee Houle, a local cabaret genius who will knock your ugly socks off. Really…she’s who you should be listening to if you too have left A**Book today.

“Maha is going to soak in the tub and eat milk chocolate covered almonds”.

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