Mama, The Riddler

When mama gets anxious or upset or nervous and tries to communicate in English, she sounds a little like Dr. Seuss. I tend to avoid her calls when she’s in such a state because her emails make me laugh really hard and I have a record of the insanity.

Exhibit A:
‘If I could tell her I would tell her but I can’t tell her because I don’t know what to tell her! Would you tell her? What would you tell her?’

On her good days, she still manages to make no sense in her emails because she has full conversations in her head and then I am only made privy to the last five seconds of the conversations.

Exhibit B:
Maha: ‘I am going to C’s house tonight.’

Mama: ‘What’s there at C’s house tonight! Party’

Maha: ‘Yeah we’re gonna get drunk with the kids ;o) Nothing, really, I’m just going over…I’m going to pick up some coffee on the way there and we’ll likely get a movie for when the kids go to sleep. I like hanging out with C, she’s so similar to me in so many ways…one of the closest, actually.’

Mama: Good for you I wish it was me going to some one who has half a dozen. Any way I will go home now and make maftool, I just craved it right now so put it in mind to eat it tonight. Why do you have to go to your dad’s place? As I said, I am leaving right now, bye

Did you catch that, kids? She’s leaving RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW. She was going to click the Send button and then leave RIGHT THEN.
And let’s not forget that she craved maftool (or ‘cous-cous’ to the North American) RIGHT NOW and so she’s placed it in her head and then later she’s gonna eat it. Not RIGHT NOW, but tonight.
Finally, we have the timeless wish of wanting to go “to some one who has half a dozen”. Really, your guess is as good as mine, because last I checked C had only two kids and so I haven’t the faintest idea to what or whom mama is referring.