At some point along the line, she should consider letting go of her bitterness and finding a way to “forgive”. This is not the forgiveness earned by the cheater when he acknowledges what he did, deeply regrets what he has done and the pain he caused. Rather, the forgiveness that frees her from being consumed by anger, bitterness and regrets.. That forgiveness is what well set her free..

In the end, she will wonder how did she ever let him touch her. When she sees him, she will smile and say: “What a sorry SOB.”

Sun Sep 02, 07:36:00 PM
==========

fathima said…
“virtual action and time-delayed reaction”
that was an excellent line.

also, you are an excellent writer and i have nothing further to add to this post. (for which i guess i am grateful.)

here’s to your friend, T. may she discard the cheater like an old skin and proceed with her life stronger and more beautiful than ever.

Sun Sep 02, 08:54:00 PM
==========

Anonymous said…
“(Here there’s a deeper malaise. It’s the ease by which people move from one relationship to another, from one emotional connection to another, and from one bed to another. We no longer believe in the sacred, of which is the commitment we make to our partners. Instead, so many throw around the word ‘love’ as though it is void of meaning and subsequent action. Moreover, many don’t possess either the capacity or the courage to be alone until a worthy partner comes along, settling instead for a time waste of a relationship that furthers one’s abiity to detach…an ability I would argue serves no value when it comes time for you to deal with honest love.)”

How RIGHT you are! I can’t believe you’ve placed this in paranthesis when there’s so much in there that you could investigate further.

I hope that your friend T soon embarks on a new life that waits for her shiny and sparkly

Also – I would fucking hate to ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER be on your bad side or get a tongue lashing from you because I think for all your kindness and goodness you can probably tear someone a new asshole pretty easily. It is to fucking be admired, my friend.

Lorraine
P.S. to your ps’s, It’s great to have you back.

Sun Sep 02, 09:57:00 PM
==========

Lisa said…
*Hugs* to T. Tell her she is a generous and compassionate woman to have given that (ahem) man her trust. He is clearly unaware that her trust was a special gift that she didn’t have to give, but her gift is always incredibly special whether the receiver appreciates the gift or not.
Cheaters have no excuse whatsoever. If they’re unhappy with a relationship they either work on it or leave. THEN they can invest in another relationship. Not before.
Notice that I didn’t start by saying ‘In my opinion’.

Tue Sep 04, 01:48:00 PM
==========

Maria Calvo said…
Oh God. A big warm hug to T and a big hot chocolate and a lot of ice cream and all sorts of warm and cozy things. Ugh this is just so sad.

My last boyfriend was cheating on me and it was one of the worst fucking experiences of my life. I never understood how he could tell me he loved me and then get out there and do waht it took to seduce and eventually have sex with someone else. It was just fucking horrible because worst of all we were supposed to get ma4rried. It was all he talked about, the fucker.

I had to cut him out of my life completely or else I was losing my mind. Fuck him and every single person who cheats. Fuck them for everything they do to ther est of us.

People keep saying shit like: THEY’RE ADULTS. THEYCAN DO WHAT THEY WANT. You know what? You’re not a fucking adult if cheating’s what you do, so ouy can’t use that card. Assholes. Fuck.

Thank you for this post,m Maha,

Maria

Wed Sep 05, 07:35:00 PM
==========

Colleen said…
I read this and had to leave it for a day or two before responding because it was so painful to read. First of all, I’m happy to see you’re back blogging and top form. I don’t think you realise how many of us check you first thing in the morning and then at every moment we get in the day hoping for another inspiring and hilarious entry.

Second, I wish T all of the love and happiness that is needed in a time such as this and that she has to use as a blanket. Things will have to get much worse before they get better. I am sending her a very large hug through you.

Finally, and to put it bluntly, cheating on someone is the greatest trauma and form of abuse you can inflict on them. There is zero excuse to be offered, the only excuses that anyone would give you means that you’re receiving excuses from cowards. There is no way around this – cheating absolutely sucks. It’s a form of violence.

Thank you for this post and please keep us posted on T.

Colleen

Thu Sep 06, 09:14:00 PM
==========

Sarah said…
This is just plain sickening. I can’t even properly express how disgusted I am by men who cheat on their partners, no matter what that form of cheating is. From what I’ve heard, T sounds like an incredible woman and so obviously deserves better than this. It will take some time, but she will surely move onto bigger and better things. And people who actually deserve her.

Sat Sep 08, 10:45:00 PM