Conversations with little girls


This is Deema, my baby cousin aged 12. Last night, we had the following conversation that very nearly made me pee in my pants…

Deema: Maha, I need to ask you a question.
Maha: Okay, habibti, what is it?
D: It’s personal, though?
M: Okay, go ahead – you should know that you can ask me anything you want to – there’s nothing that’s too personal.
D: Uhm. Okay. So. Uhm. Ahem – ahem.
M: Deema, just ask it.
D: Okay. WHEN DID YOU GET ARMPIT HAIR?
M: What?
D: Oh my GOD. SEE! It’s too personal. I KNEW IT! Why are you laughing? Are you laughing at me?
M: NO! Nothing is too personal, and to answer your question, I was thirteen.
D: I’m almost 13! WHY DON’T I HAVE ANY? I WANT ARMPIT HAIR!
M: You’ll get it when you get your period.
D: DUDE! Who said anything about my period? I’m talking about armpit hair!
M: Deema. It’s all or nothing.
D: That’s so gross. I just want my armpit hair.
M: Why do you want armpit hair, tayeb?
D: Because I want to start buying and using deodorant. I REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO BUY IT! I LOVE THE WAY IT SMELLS! AND I LOVE THE WAY YOU HAVE TO APPLY IT! (silence) My period, eh?
M: Yup.
D: Hmph. That seems really unfortunate. (and with full drawl of sarcasm) You know, I don’t think it’s very appropriate that you’re laughing at me.
M: You have the most sarcastic sense of humor, ya Damdooma!
D: If I knew what that word meant: ‘sarcastic’, I’d offer you a reaction.
M: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
D: When you’re done laughing, missy, come and find me in the living room. (muttering to herself) Crazy woman! – that’s what happens when you get your period.

I took her ‘shopping’ for deodorant this morning. (I believe she’s already used up half of it.)