Happy Holidays!

Because I can't kiss each of you while this far away, I offer instead a little bow-sah from a friendly Middle Eastern Fishie. (You may kiss her back, if it pleases you...)

Happy Holidays from Dubai!

Conversations with little girls

This is Deema, my baby cousin aged 12. Last night, we had the following conversation that very nearly made me pee in my pants...

Deema: Maha, I need to ask you a question.
Maha: Okay, habibti, what is it?
D: It's personal, though?
M: Okay, go ahead - you should know that you can ask me anything you want to - there's nothing that's too personal.
D: Uhm. Okay. So. Uhm. Ahem - ahem.
M: Deema, just ask it.
D: Okay. WHEN DID YOU GET ARMPIT HAIR?
M: What?
D: Oh my GOD. SEE! It's too personal. I KNEW IT! Why are you laughing? Are you laughing at me?
M: NO! Nothing is too personal, and to answer your question, I was thirteen.
D: I'm almost 13! WHY DON'T I HAVE ANY? I WANT ARMPIT HAIR!
M: You'll get it when you get your period.
D: DUDE! Who said anything about my period? I'm talking about armpit hair!
M: Deema. It's all or nothing.
D: That's so gross. I just want my armpit hair.
M: Why do you want armpit hair, tayeb?
D: Because I want to start buying and using deodorant. I REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO BUY IT! I LOVE THE WAY IT SMELLS! AND I LOVE THE WAY YOU HAVE TO APPLY IT! (silence) My period, eh?
M: Yup.
D: Hmph. That seems really unfortunate. (and with full drawl of sarcasm) You know, I don't think it's very appropriate that you're laughing at me.
M: You have the most sarcastic sense of humor, ya Damdooma!
D: If I knew what that word meant: 'sarcastic', I'd offer you a reaction.
M: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
D: When you're done laughing, missy, come and find me in the living room. (muttering to herself) Crazy woman! - that's what happens when you get your period.

I took her 'shopping' for deodorant this morning. (I believe she's already used up half of it.)

Eid Mubarak

I've finished my trip to Oman where I saw for the first time ever wild dolphins. They move in the most beautiful symmetry...and I will post videos soon enough, Inshallah.

A special note on the man in the pictures; he's been keeping me cozy by giving me at least 20 hugs a day (each one of which I've needed almost desperately). My baby cousin Ahmed. He's 7 years old and likes food. Whenever seated on the couch, he comes over and cuddles in close, and before bed, he kisses me goodnight and tells me I'm his favourite girl and would I promise to not tell that to either of his sisters. (We have a secret handshake that consists of feigned spitting and a Point Break wave of the hands and scream. Because it's 'secret', you mustn't tell anyone.)





I find that lately I've been more comfortable around children as their innocence and trust is filling me up with calm that's placing kind, soft and protective hands around and beneath my heart.

On the occasion of this first day of Eid, I hope this coming year is good to each and every one of you and your families. (& May each of your hearts find the innocence of a child should it require it.)

P.S. Any photo showing up as a broken link will be fixed and back to normal as soon as I'm back in Canada.

The Red Sea Dispatch (no.1)

Hi & sorry for not blogging sooner! I’ve discovered that I suck at blogging while on holiday…

Long story short, the longer of which I will eventually write about (within the coming couple of months, I’m certain): A part of this trip has been to snorkel in the Red Sea. If you really must, please visit this page, in order to locate me…on an atlas.

I’m not much in the mood for long entries, and so have decided to video blog instead. If, for some reason you can’t see the three videos I’ve posted below, you can see them on my spazzy femalecanuck youtube channel linked here.

Video no 1: The view from our hotel’s (Sofitel) gazebo that overlooks the Red Sea. Mama waving. French people being athletic.



Video no 2: Walking toward the Red Sea. A completely random and unrelated story to pictures of chicks? or chickadees? & Wearing a flip? flop?



Video no 3: Me: sun burnt and with yasmine in my hair. Waving away flies. Talking about scent. Making you listen to the waves.



I’m off to the Arabian Gulf for some scuba diving. I promise to post more videos and idiotic narration (with a lot of ‘uhm’s for good measure).

To those who have asked for photos, I’ve yet to post any, but I’ve taken around 200 already. They’ll be along within the coming little bit.

1 announcement & 2 updates

(1) I fly out tomorrow.

Even though I will have access to the internet, I don't plan on responding to email unless it's some crazy emergency.

However, I will be blogging to keep you up-to-date on the fun I'm having, Inshallah. Also, I'll be posting all photos here, so keep this link bookmarked if you'd like to take the - at least - pictorial journey with me.

(2) I see that many of you have already noted this, but for those who've not yet taken a peek: I've updated the Most Popular Posts based on the amount of emails I receive, and the amount of page hits these babies get. The new list is (insert drum roll, please):

Every Girl Should Have 'One'
A Childhood Photograph
Marvin Under Glass
Belief vs. Proof
The PIGS! Are Everywhere
A Home Can Not Be Built on the Table of an Architect
Sailing with Seedo
Tunnels Aren't Fun
The Honour of Being A Daughter
Montreal Lovers
Maha's 35 Things To Do In London
Why I Don't Grocery Shop
Gerry Butler's Secret
The IKEA Matrix
Baba (or: Pappy)

(3) I've finally updated all of my Categories and the links to them (take a peek to the right column...)

**********
Please think of me tomorrow as I fly up above. I'll wave and hope someone is nice enough to wave back at the little blur in the sky. Be safe, everyone and don't worry...you're all coming with me in one way or another. Mmmmmmwah.

A Capital Idea (perhaps?)

OK. So this isn't one of the posts that took me a long time...it's just a post that came to me as I listened to the merry Carollers on Elgin Street. I asked them to sing 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' and they did. I LOVE Carollers because they make me so happy! They're so brave to be out in the weather, and they're so awesome because their only aim is to impart holiday cheer, and I am all about holiday cheer.

Granted, I don't celebrate the birth of Baby Jesus in the same fashion as other Christians, but I love Him and I know He loves me back and so we're all good, the Baby Jesus and I.

Anyway, back to my (perhaps) Capital Idea. I THINK CAROLLERS SHOULD TRAVEL WITH A BEATBOX, and I want to be her.

I almost flew out of my skin just typing that because of the excitement the idea shoots through my body. I've been doing the work and using the How to Beatbox - wikiHow guide. If you scroll through the Wiki, you'll see that as a Beatboxer, I can make my own rhythms. So I've decided that I'm gonna raise the ante and bring home some Eastern beats when the Carollers are singing a little Hallelujah and a little Silent Night....most definitely when they're breaking down the Fa La La La La La La La La. It'll be the wickedest Interfaith Beatboxing, ever.

Once I've got the beatboxing down solid, I plan on tackling the How to Survive a Freestyle Rap Battle, because between the Catholic and the Evangelist Carollers, there may just be a throw down in the Carolling community. And as a Muslimah, I plan to ride low with the Catholics and have their back with my excellent beatboxing technique.

Whatever you do, just don't call it a comeback.

Thank you.

On Kuffaar

Don't send me anything in which you call anyone a kaffir.

That word has no home in my heart.
That word has no place in the way I live my faith.

If it is a word you are quick to use, then I strongly recommend you get back to basics re our deen and busy yourself with your own problems, rather than playing Allah and choosing to judge the hearts of others. Last I checked, my sisters and brothers, it's only those who are too weak of spirit and accomplishment that feel a need to point out the so-called 'faults' of others in a wanting attempt to make themselves better people.

If you wish to start a dialogue on this issue, then do it here and publicly, because there is nothing I would enjoy more.

You might see the posts slowing down

Even though I continue to write a lot, it's taking me much longer to place the pieces on line. I'm finding that my writing's changing and the stories are demanding a little more structure, attention and patience. A thicker thread, a slightly clearer story line, a more obvious grouping of ideas...

I'm currently working on seven pieces and I'm trying to make each one a little more of a story and a little less of a sharing of information. Several of them may end up being much too personal for this little interWeb home of mine, but we'll see. In fact, one of them is looking like it may be the first chapter of a book, but again: we'll see. (I may post this particular one on here and get a taste of what you think before I move forward with it.)

FYI: Crack at an Embassy Dinner was in fact originally blogged in the summer of 2006. I accidentally pulled it up when trying to do a fix and I've left it up front because many of you seem to still enjoy it.

P.S.: The first post to benefit from this new direction was Every Girl Should Have 'One', and I think it's safe to say there's a difference between that entry and most of the ones before.

Download

1973 by James Just Call Me Annoying Blunt.

I've been listening to this song against my own will because James Blunt, in his entirety, is one of my greatest pet peeves.

The first time I heard You're Beautiful, I almost committed a crime.

The first time I heard Goodbye My Lover, I started yelling 'Shut Up!' and crying.

And then he had to go and write a good song.

Uhm. You're still annoying, though, James.