.1. My body is still hibernating. It sees a potato and angels start singing.

.2. A “Bacetto” chocolate is not a Baci chocolate. They are both made by Perugina and they are both packaged in exactly the same way. They are also both hazelnut focussed.

Only: The Bacetto does not have a poorly translated and usually hilarious “fortune” within, leaving the chocolate eater to wonder if they accidentally chewed up and swallowed the paper fortune.

Don’t be fooled and don’t settle for anything short of a Baci.

.3. Someone gifted me “an aromatic spa refreshing facial mist [that is] ideal for toning the skin and awakening the senses!” (exclamation mark theirs not mine). It comes in a small spray bottle which one is meant to point at thine face and spray.

I did this and found it neither ‘refreshing’ nor ‘misty’, but rather aggressive and hostile.

I tried it several times, hoping I would soften and get used to the on-slough of spray. Only, the more I sprayed, the greater my recoil and shock at the force of the “mist”, and the greater reason my skin will have to wrinkle as I scrunch it up in anticipation of the “pure essential oils of ORANGE & GRAPEFRUIT & natural GREEN TEA” (yelling theirs not mine).

I was holding it up to my face this morning and I couldn’t actually bring myself to mist; same paralysis I would encounter if I tried to bite myself (near impossible to draw blood unless you have psychological issues that would permit you to set aside your body’s natural biological reaction to fight and ward off the potential hurt bla bla).

It may have to do with the fact that I sprayed a direct line into my left eye and nearly drowned myself in it because I forgot to close my eyes and my mouth and plug my nose.

.4. If you know an under-ten, please take them to see Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears A Who. It’s one of the books I always gift under-tens and it’s a message most adults could use to learn.

.5. I used to think Dr. Phil was good, until I watched a complete show around a month back and it hit me like a ton of bricks that: He’s all about “owning your sh*t” and that this is a novelty in this day and age is the reason people like him so much.

So…essentially, the reason he’s so popular is because we’ve turned into a society that does nothing more than enable crap behaviour, and when a normal thought pattern comes on to centre stage (such as: Own. Your. Sh*t.), we think it’s some kind of miracle.

So. I’m officially removing my support for Dr. Phil because I think it’s lame that we’ve propelled to stardom a dude who is selling what should be so obvious to anyone who thinks they are a functioning part of and contributor to a healthy society.

OWN IT, ALREADY. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS BY NOW. IT SHOULD NOT BE YOUR END POINT, BUT YOUR FRIKING BASE-LINE. (And if you, for one second, believe that anything worth having can be found in a 42 minute show and without hard work and life-long commitment, then you’re a bigger loser than…the biggest loser in the world.)

(It’s like The Secret. It was NEVER a “secret”. I’m rolling my eyes so hard that they look as though they belong in the head of the person sitting next to me and they’ve accidentally landed in my sockets and are trying to find their way out. Roll. Roll. Roll. Never. A. “Secret”!)

.6. In case you have yet to notice: I am intolerant today.

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