Thank you for the links and the information.

Good for you for making a donation. I will do the same.

Thomas

Tue May 27, 03:06:00 PM
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Lisa said…
I stand with you on this 100%. I cannot fathom how the mind of a molester will convince them that their selfish gratification is more important than a child’s safety and protection.I was baffled watching a documentary on child rape in Africa. When interviewed, the rapists had no guilt about their behaviour…they even justified it. But when asked how they’d react if their sister/daughter/wife/mother was raped, they said they’d kill the rapist if they caught him. WTF?

Tue May 27, 03:18:00 PM
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Anonymous said…
You know I agree with you about this 100% Maha, I can’t imagine someone who wouldn’t.

There is a pretty large movement in the queer community that’s called Man/Boy Love and it’s fucking disgusting – they have “psychology” tests “proving” that sexual relationships between adult men and young boys (children) is okay. There are chapters all over the world and it’s growing.

The other major stream seems to be the boyfriends of mothers that are perceived as “uncles” and the young female children of the mother.

If someone tried to touch my children – and you’re right, anyone below the age of 18 – I would hang them by their fucking genitals. -lily

Tue May 27, 06:04:00 PM
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Anonymous said…
I intended to send you an email to prod you into one of your humor-tinged rants. The PIGS! Are Everywhere is a favorite. No humor here though. It is depressing on so many levels. Did these people actively seek out an opportunity to do this? I mean were they standing in line with their application in hand, fantasizing about this? Did they wake up one morning transformed into some hideous insect with no conscience? You have to believe that the psyches, and secret lives of these people make them a different species entirely. They are not human as I understand the word. When you read this shit, and it is apparently a commonplace occurence, it sheds some light on the circumstance of Myanmar, and why countries may be hesistent to let in aid workers.
mgb

Tue May 27, 06:58:00 PM
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Chantal said…
You are absolutely justified in your tailspinning. There is nothing worse than crimes against children, any crime. But as the daughter of a mother who knowingly did nothing to protect her from abuse at the hands of a priest, I know that there is no healing without understanding and forgiveness.

http://crrz07.wordpress.com/?s=strawberry+fields+forever

We can paint everyone with the same brush, and scream and shout our outrage at these horrible acts of evil in the hearts of humans, we can even accord the same level of disgust to those who stand by & watch crimes committed as we do to those who commit torture, rape, murder, pedophilia, etc…(ironically, Westerners are often the ones standing by, doing nothing). If that’s all we do, then we can expect to stay in the same place, spinning our wheels.

I am in no way comparing my circumstances as a kid with the martyrdom that is suffered by children all over the world. There are crimes that are blatant and too much for words….but speak of them we must. Then there are crimes against children that go unnoticed because the pain inflicted is not visible or audible. My point is that there are as many reactions by parents to crimes against their children as there are crimes against children. We have to accord some understanding. According understanding does not mean accepting excuses. There’s a difference.

You can’t lump everyone together and dismiss their background or upbringing. Who we are now is deeply rooted in the path we’ve had to travel to get here. I’m trying to put myself in the shoes of a parent living in an area of the world where peacekeepers are required. Number one, the fact that peacekeepers are needed means that my world is pretty unstable to begin with. Number two, being a parent is hard enough; doing it without support from society is even harder. Number three, I would be outraged at the knowledge that somewhere in the West, there are people who feel they know so much about me, my culture, my life, my struggles, as to stand in arrogant judgement of me.

Am I taking your sweeping comments about neglectful parents in the face of crimes against their children and applying it to my own situation with my mother? Yes I am. I take it very personally, because I am as emotional as you. It strikes a nerve, and as much as I deplore (just like you) the act of not acting in the face of injustice, there needs to be room created for understanding.

Much peace, Maha

Chantal

Wed May 28, 12:22:00 AM
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just a girl said…
I am working from home today and I think I was meant to so that I may respond to your post Chantal. (I’ll respond to everyone else’s at a later time.)

Ok. I’m reading your post. And I’m having a hard time reading it…so this comment is a sort of running commentary because I am taking a break from your post. I’ve just read about how she turned away from you the moment you told her.

Two years less a day???????????????????????????????

You have nothing to be ASHAMED of. This has nothing to do with you as a child – you did not initiate this, you did nothing wrong, you can NEVER be held accountable or shamed into believing this was somehow your problem.

Yes. You’re a fighter, no doubt. No doubt.

I can not understand, Chantal. I can not help but judge – I am sorry that your mother chose the safety of walking away (which had nothign to do with you) rather than choosing the onus to protect YOU, ELEVEN YEARS OLD!!!!!

I can NOT understand it – even though I fully understand your distinction between understanding and justifying, and I know that you do not justify her actions.

And I’m sorry Chantal, but I do not think that flight is an act of courage. And I know in my heart that it easy for me to say that because she is not my mother. But it’s there at that crossroads that sits a choice: You would choose differently than your mother did. That, in and of itself, screams volumes.

I’m angry and I’m hurt and I don’t forgive your mother and I wish that THAT priest was beaten to death in prison. And I wish I could go back into your life and take you out – or at the very least wrap my arms around your 11 year old self and protect you from both the aggression and the passivity by which it was treated. BUT I CAN’T! Instead…I’m stuck here reading iabout it.

And I’m crying I’m crying I’m crying!@!!!!! shit.

I don’t want to say any more, for fear of trespassing into an area that is none of my business, but I want to thank you for sharing that entry. I also want you to know that what I said above is not a reflection on you – it is NOT a reflection on you or your choice. I live by different rules and I support you in your choices 100%, even though I may not agree. But I support you, Chantal (not that you need my support, obviously)….

And to you I say may peace always find a home in your heart and may your family always be protected and cared for with the ferocity both they and you deserve, Chantal.

All my love,
Maha

Wed May 28, 09:17:00 AM
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Sumaira said…
I had similiar experiences with someone who also passed himself off as an ‘uncle’ for 4 years when I was little and to this day – no one in my family knows and i never uttered a word for the fear that no one would believe me.

Wed May 28, 01:14:00 PM
just a girl said…
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Sumaira.

I don’t know what to say other than I’m so so so sorry this had to happen to you. Thank you for feeling that this is a safe enough environment in which you could share…

I believe you.

And one of the main reasons Islam is so important to me is because of the nature of Justice as believe by a Muslim. You will have your chance to face this man – and remember that if you choose to not forgive him, then God will never trespass that choice, and He too will not forgive him.

Love,
M

Wed May 28, 01:37:00 PM
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Anonymous said…
Fuck. This conversation’s gotten really fucking heavy, really fast.

I’m sorry to Chantal and Sumaira. -lily

Wed May 28, 03:31:00 PM
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Chantal said…
Dearest Maha,
It took me nearly 2 hours to write that comment up there, because it was striking close to home, and because I was coming from a different place of understanding than you were. I so didn’t want to bring disrespect to you with my comment, by disagreeing with you.

I needed a Mother Bear, when I was a child….with my own children, I have become that Mother Bear that I fantasized about. I might not always have the right words to say or make the right decisions, but I know that I am fierce in my love for my children.

That I wanted to share my thoughts on this with you, Maha, speaks volumes to what your beautiful mind and heart have come to mean to me. You were my inspiration to start blogging, and you teach me to stand by what I write, about respecting others without losing respect for myself.

With her tears of gratitude, my 11-year-old self thanks you for your hugs, and my 41-year-old self thanks you for your support.

All my love,
Chantal

(Sumaira, I hold you in my heart…)

Sat May 31, 06:39:00 PM
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Anonymous said…
Unfortunately the online community doesn’t help matters because sick people go into all these different online groups and meet other sick people and then they think that they’re not so sick because there are other people out there that are into the same thing. And thus the problem just expands. It’s sick and I have a friend whose husband is in jail for 14 years for trafficking in child porn. They had no children of their own – thank god. The ramifications of this have been vast – all because he couldn’t stop thinking about his own sickening peverted needs.

Sun Jun 01, 06:57:00 PM
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Maria Calvo said…
Wow. This entry’s pretty heavy on the comments section.

I’m so sorry to Chantal and Sumaira. Thank you for feeling safe enough to mention it here…….

I recently found out that one of my male friends was sexually abused by his older brother. He was diagnosed with HIV a few years back and one night he was drunk and told me that was the reason he was gay. I remember sitting there freaking out because he was saying how his first sexual memory was of his older brother on top of him and his exact words to me were: “My brain immediately told me that it was natural to have a man above me. That’s how I coped. That’s how I was able to make it natural in my head. I don’t think I would have been gay if I wasn’t raped by a man when I was 8.”

He always had relationships with much older men because of it and a few years ago he was diagnosed with HIV. He’s been selibate since and he’s been trying to sort out his identity over the last 35 years. It’s really really really really so sad.

What’s worse is that his brother is still in his life and he still has connections with him. He has a really strange sense of connection and obligation where his brother’s concerned. Like a sick dependency.

I’m with you and everyone else here, Maha. I’d kill someone over this.

Maria

Tue Jun 10, 10:34:00 AM