Prolific Immigrant

“female is put off her clothes one by one”
Why? What’d they do that was so bad?

“i’m a libra girl and people are attracted to me”
ME TOO! ME TOO!!!!!! Cool.

“compartibility of librans by linda”
Although we have many parts, us libras, I don’t know if anyone’s ever attempted to compartmentalize any of them…let alone a woman named Linda.

“islam dream pulling my duvet”
Simple: Your dream’s a Terrorist.

“sex with a different man every night”
What is wrong with you? (And how in the f*ckity f*ck does that query bring you to my interWeb home?)

“one female cancuck”
No one’s ever called me that before.
I cancuck
You cancuck
They cancuck
We cancucked
CANCUCK!

Review’s complete and up at Rabble.

…as well as the official John Cusack myspace home.

Comments here are closed.

Check this out – the good folks at schmap(dot)com used (with my permission) my photo as a part of their guide to TIFF. It’s the only non-celebrity girl shot no matter that I am a celebrity in my own head, really…or to mama….

Please take a peek at their site if you’re heading to TIFF…or if you need anything else…

M: “Uhmmmm. HEY! So…uhm…I was wondering if you could help me figure something out, yeah?”
T: “Sure. What is it? I’m about to blowdry my hair, but ok…”
M: “Well. So…I was trying to figure out what this song was and I just. I can’t.”
T: “What’ve you got?”
M: “….”
T: “Maha?”
M: “Yeah!”
T: “What do you remember from the song?”
M: “…it’s kind of lame…”
T: “SERIOUSLY. COME ON.”
M: “Jungle night. Jungle bright. GimmeTheOthernaNananananaNAnanananaNaOhoohooohoohohohohohohohohohhohhhhhhh Night’sTheNight GimmeTheOtherGimmeTheOther…OR SOMETHING. I can’t sing. You know that.”
T: “Jesus that was bad. OH MY GOD WAIT! I KNOW IT!”
M: “Are you lying?”
T: “No…no…I know that ohohohohohohohohohohhhoohohohohohohoh”
M: “It’s from the 80s I think? I think I was, like, ten years old or something…I’ve googled all kinds of different lyrics but nothing…”
T: “Yes! OH! I just heard it in the gym the other day…but I don’t think it’s jungle light. Try: ‘in the night’.”
M: “No, I don’t think that’s it.”
T: “Just try it.”
M: “K.”
T: “Ohohohohohohohohohohohohoh Night’sTheNight…. I love that song.”
M: “You didn’t even know it before two seconds ago, dude.”
T: “Still. It’s awesome.”
M: “Oh! I found it! OMG. It’s called Tarzan Boy by some group called…Balteeemore-ah. This is so great, thank you! I’m gonna buy this right now…I’m so excited. You know what I love about iTunes? I love that it tells you what people who bought this song…what else they’ve also bought! I’m sure I’ll find a lot of really great 80s son…oh wow…oh…”
T: “What?”
M: “Nothing. You should probably get to your hair.”
T: “WHAT?”
M: “…………………….no one else has ever bought this song.”
T: “AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA.”
M: “I’M A TRAILBLAZER. Go blow dry yer god damn hair, already.”
T: “aaaaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhhh-tone…………..”

.1. There was a couple I used to see together on a regular basis.
Then one day, I saw the woman standing alone and watched her watch this once-very-intimate part of her life walk past and make nothing more than an awkward nod in her direction, after which she stood alone, crying.

People stared at her, so I walked over and quietly asked her if she was okay.
She told me the story of what had transpired between her and this piece of shit who can’t actually be called a man who believed that it was proper behaviour…nay, necessary behaviour to get drunk and proceed to both verbally and physically assault her.
This had caused a break up.

But not for long.

I’ve now once more been seeing them together. Kissing. Cuddling. Feigning that sickly ‘love’ that makes me want to gag. Because, I know. Because I fkn know and because last week, I saw her with a bruised eye.

But I’m sure: He’s changed. And they’re in love. And she can’t help it. And he’s not a drunken fukwit. And she’s got all the self esteem in the world. And he’s going to change. And she promises to support him. And he’s sorry he missed another AA meeting. And she still loves him. And he’s sorry sorry sorry sorry for hitting her again. And it’s okay, because they’re in love, but I think I may have mentioned that already.

.2. I never did get around to telling you what happened at the end of my most recent NYC trip – and I promise to eventually get around to it. But for now, let me share one moment that still boggles my mind.

We were seated in the airport – delays all over the god damn place. Delays without explanation and without (later we found out) merit. People were antsy and generally obnoxious and annoyed because the world revolves around them.

There was a woman seated on the ground and minding her own business. She was working on her laptop (as many of us were) and an older gentleman walked past and tripped on the cord of the laptop. She apologised profusely and…he didn’t accept.

Neither did his daughter (who may have been aged at around 45) nor his wife. In fact, they decided to sit across from this woman and berate her loudly and aggressively as she sat there quietly, alone in a waiting room filled with people staring and fkn doing nothing. After a few moments, things quieted down and then all of a sudden I heard the following, at which point I stepped in: “…she’s ugly. No wonder she’s gotta work…probably doesn’t have children. Look at her…who’d marry this bitch, anyway…dried up ovaries…”

And I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t sit there for another moment “minding my own business” because bullying at that level immediately made it my business. I am still shocked that no one else in that room thought the same thing, because trust me when I tell you these people were loud – and when that sort of ‘confrontation’ takes place, people generally stop to see where the noise is coming from. An audience to the ugliness and to the pain and humiliation of others starts to feed on the euphoria of not having to be that person.

I turned around and motioned to the woman on the ground, and asked her to come over and sit next to me.

The mother and the father and their pathetic, wanting, idiotic, dredge of a daughter stared at me as though I were some kind of alien. They looked insulted that I had stepped in. They were offended that I was involving myself in their business. And when the woman quietly packed up her things and came and sat next to me and started thanking me, the family started to mumble again, so I turned around (my back was to their face) and I very quietly said: “if there’s something you need to say, then you need to come around here and say it to the both of us. Don’t count this woman as being alone anymore.”

They didn’t say another word.

.3. Finally. If you’ve still not done so, then I need you to please make the effort to catch War, Inc at any one of the following theatres….

COLORADO: THE ABBEY THEATRE
128 East College Dr. (970-385-1711)

COLORADO: LYRIC CINEMA CAFE 2
300 E. Mountain Ave. (970-493-0893)

IOWA: VARSITY II
2412 Lincoln Way (515-292-0450)

NEW YORK: HI-WAY DRIVE-IN THEATER
10769 State Route 9W

OHIO: CEDAR LEE THEATERS
2163 Lee Rd. (216-321-5411)

OREGON: LIVING ROOM THEATERS
921 SW Washington St. (971.222.2010)

TENNESSEE: DOWNTOWN WEST CINEMA 18
1640 Downtown West Blvd. (865-693-6327)

…only if interested in my political ramblings.

Comments here are closed.

.1. I’ve had to place comments on moderation once again because there is a crazy pervert on the interLoose. Sorry about that; please understand that unless you’re the crazy pervert, this isn’t about you and your wonderful comments.

.2. I had brunch with K+S a few days back and had an absolutely amazing time. They are soon moving to Vancouver and although I am extremely excited and happy for them, I do already miss them.

But enough about them.
They met Lulu!

And this morning, S sent me this:
“It seemed impossible that I had ever lived without Lulu. And the closer I got to her, the more I knew that she was the only person I had ever cared to know. Lulu was an entire population. You could string adjectives together like daisy chains and not describe Lulu. Verbs came closer: soaring, crashing, yearning, laughing, dreaming, kissing. But metaphors came closest: Lulu was a white-hearted starburst, a silver-crested wave. Lulu was the sound electricity makes.”
- from ALL ABOUT LULU by Jonathan Evison

…because that’s just the kind of friends that God has blessed me with.

(Pretty fkn blessed, indeed.)

.3. I am reading a book titled Ezekiel on recommendation.

This book is killing me as I am having a very difficult time reading it in one fell swoop. Or maybe it’s because I should be reading it in one full swoop?

Anyway. I usually read several books at a time, something with which most of you are familiar. Ezekiel‘s placed a damper on that reality, because Daniel Berrigan’s work is anxious and immediate and rushed and angry and confused and confusing and challenging. I can’t read more than a few pages a day, because…

…while reading, the words tumble quietly through my head until they start to push against the insides of my mouth and my face because they want to be screamed aloud for everyone to hear them.

It’s brilliant; he’s brilliant; read him.

.4. I carry sunshine around in my pocket. Did you know?

.5. July’s 2008 CrackBook status updates are linked here.

.6. Thanks to all for the wonderful and kind notes of love re Dave McMurran. You always overwhelm me. Always.

As for Yazo’s Q. The only thing I can say to you about Dave is that if ever there was a righteous cause and a righteous side, Dave found it and stood firm. He did it with full conviction and honesty of spirit; both of these things a rarity in this day and age.

He genuinely and unflinchingly cared for the well-being of others and carried around a pure heart.

Allah yir7amuh.

.7. I’m learning how to deal with a variety of new things…namely the tackling of my own level of patience (of which I actually have none). It’s a real trip, this tackling, and any lessons that life is willing to teach me, I try to always be a ready student.

.8. Am off to Montreal for the weekend to chill out with R. I’ve been promising to get out there for an extended period of time so that we may do nothing while being around one another and I’m finally getting there to do just that (especially since I didn’t get to see her last weekend while there for less than 24 hours). All other trips have been committed in haste, but inshallah, not this one. Can’t wait.

.9. I’ve found the perfect excuse to shop for a new wallet. Theft.

Last week, my wallet was stolen from atop my desk (hurrah for workplace security!). To avoid the confusion that I had to work through, I strongly encourage you to immediately:

- Make a list of all items in your wallet and keep the list apart from your wallet.

- Within that list, keep the numbers of all cards (including things such as library cards or Shopper’s Drug Mart or MEC or whatever…).

- If you are a moron and you keep your SIN in your wallet, take it out immediately. It is with your SIN that individuals can commit full identity theft.

- For the Canucks: As soon as your wallet is stolen / goes missing, ensure that you contact the three following credit bureaus and notify them of the loss. They will flag your name / file for the next 6 years, indicating that there is a higher risk of identity fraud where you’re concerned. What this does is it ensures that should anyone apply for a loan in your name, extra security measures are invoked in an effort to protect you. Experian at 1.888.826.1718; Equifax at 1.800.465.7166; and, TransUnion at 1.800.663.9980.

.10. Last but not least…in fact, last and most difficult is that I have to soon say goodbye to one of my dearest friends. Simply put, I love this woman and when she told me that she was moving out West, it broke my heart a little. Or a lot. She is soon to become the Dean of Applied Sciences at the University of British Columbia. I am proud. (But still, when she told me over dinner…I had to pretend I was extremely interested in my food so as to not show her the first signs of my tears.)