.1. All week, I have been thinking about the promise I made > to write a new entry < and I must admit that it’s weighed heavy on me, this promise. Oddly, it seems to have both placed pressure on me to think of something coherent and also, to paralyze my move to puzzle old words together in an effort to create something new. For this reason, I have decided to simply write. This is more a stream of consciousness, rather than an entry with one specific idea and purpose. But it is an entry and it has been promised and now here it is…
.2. Because so many of you seem to have found something which resonated when you read The Story that Hides, I will provide a small contextualization for this written bit.
I began writing that in November of 2007, a couple of weeks after I had my heart completely beaten to a pulp by someone, an occurrence that had never happened before and one by which my entire self had become displaced. That’s all anyone needs to know about that piece.
That and the fact that a slight variation of it will likely become the first chapter of a more complete story some day.
.3. I spent 10 days in Vancouver in October. It was lovely as Vancouver is a stunning city and the weather gorgeous.
The most incredible day spent there was the one during which I spent a few hours in Pigeon Park. This is the most notorious park in the City in terms of poverty.
I picked up 25 sandwiches, coffees and cookies from my favorite shop (Smart Mouth Cafe at 131 Water Street, no 117 – highly recommended next you are in VanCity) and took them, with the help of three employees across the way to the park.
There we handed them out to anyone who wanted and I spent some time speaking with the prostitutes and the junkies and peoples’ grandchildren and grandparents covered in lesions and cuts and bruises, scrapes and scraps of clothing not warm enough for even a summer’s day.
I left there a little broken and invigorated, a little sad and a lot confused. I wandered for a few hours in my own head considering that any individual making different choices or living different experiences could be in that park. None of us are immune and we must extend grace and love to all.
.4. Speaking of which, we were recently out to dinner and had a very heavy discussion about this particular idea of ‘judgment’.
Among the folks at dinner was someone vehemently opposed to judging the actions of others: “People who judge are assholes. Who the f*ck are they to judge me?” Interestingly enough, in their judgment of individuals judging others and opposition to said judgment, they had become complicit in the very thing they were opposing: judgment. (Tautology is the vice of Dr. Seuss, didn’t you know?)
I kept my mouth shut and didn’t point this out, choosing to instead name the shrimp in my Yum Mamuang and wrote in my head their journey from ocean to kitchen. It was called “Monkey, Pippy, Thomas and Famke Fall Into A Trap, Are Caught, Then Get Grilled”. Maybe I’ll share it some day…
But. I think since judgment is inevitable and a part of human nature, perhaps the key is to temper it with a sort of mercy. Attempt to understand the actions you’ve judged and do so in as gentle a manner as possible, remembering that people are not inherently bad, though we all tend to act in foolish and hurtful manners many times in our lives (whether it’s because we’re spoiled a**holes with a heavy sense of entitlement, or because we actually didn’t know we were being a**holes).
On this note, here we need to acknowledge the difference between understanding an action and justifying that same action. Also, that there are some things we simply can not stand for – now, extend this perspective to social justice and then make no difference between the shit and unacceptable behavior of one individual against an other individual (e.g. one man refusing to serve another because of the colour of his skin // one man abusing his wife) and collective behavior against any group (e.g. laws supporting segregation // women not being allowed to vote, own property, etc.).
There is great danger in us denying the direct link between the individual and the collective. (See below End Note.)
The moment we recognize and own the reality that each action we take must be a reflection of a social fabric wherein we look out and care for one another in an equal and respectful manner is a first step to doing away with the horrible atrocities we commit against one another, be it collectively or individually.
Don’t ever think that we, as individuals, can act without impunity, or that our actions are disassociated from our world view or the freedoms we fight for, the social justice me must uphold.
(I am guilty of falling short of this on many an occasion and I’ve behaved like a Grade-A a**hole, but I work hard to recognize my stupidity and then remedy it when I can and as immediately as possible. The above is as much a reminder to myself as it is a reminder to anyone reading it.)
End note: If you are of the belief that we – and only we – are responsible for ourselves and no one else is responsible for us, and that we can’t be held to a higher standard of extending responsibility and comfort to others who are hurting or who have been oppressed or whose rights have been sh*t on, then you can take your nihilistic individualistic perspective and f*ck off – this writing isn’t for you, and neither are the opinions within.
.5. Sorry this entry is completely lame. But it is an entry and it’s a first step to me overcoming the shit writer’s block that has placed my mind in a logjam…xxoo
9 Comments:
Anonymous Thomas said…
Maha,
How great to see a new entry! You promised and delivered, so thank you.
I laughed at the image of a young you at Consumers Distributing. I remember the store all too well.
About your point on judgement. I agree with you on all account but will say that it is a tall order. There are not too many people that can meet that type of responsibility to one another. It is a lot easier to not see the extension of individual to collective. That’s the easier road and so that’s the road most will take.
I appreciate your struggle to not take that road as often as possible. Or to rememdy the situation when you do.
Can we look forward to a more normalized publishing schedule from you?
Thomas
Sat Feb 21, 06:43:00 PM
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Anonymous Anonymous said…
Thank you for telling us that was the reason you wrote The Story That Hides. That was heartbreaking to read, but cleansing.
I laughed out loud at “I would become so excited at the prospect of going to Consumers with my parents that I would reach a level of both near hysteria and near black-out excitement.”
The part on judgment. I completely get what you’re saying there and wish people would recognise that. Maybe we’d be alot nice to each other but that kind of thing takes alot o f courage and strength I agree with Thomas.
This is my first time commenting, but I’ve been a reader for a long time. I’m commenting because Iv missed your writing and its nice to have you back
byye
b2m
Sat Feb 21, 11:15:00 PM
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Anonymous Anonymous said…
I really like the new pix. Your beautiful!
b2m
Sat Feb 21, 11:16:00 PM
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Anonymous Anonymous said…
You are a true beauty, inside and out.
xo’s to the max
Baby J.
Sun Feb 22, 02:16:00 PM
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Anonymous Anonymous said…
Your End Note is fucking FIERCE. You’re also really fucking hot. Like REALLY HOT!!!!!
MIKE
Sun Feb 22, 10:53:00 PM
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Anonymous Maria Calvo said…
Maha!!! I am so happy you posted a new entyr I could cry!!! I laughed and babe this is NOT a lame entry. I actually love that you let us in on a few different thought pattersn.
I think I have said this befre, but uin case I haven’t >>>> you’re totally my role model. TOTALLY my role model. I love the fact that you don’t take shit and don’t let it in to your life one way or another. I also dig that you’re not scared to say that you’re guilty of fucking up sometimes. UGH I WISH I COULD MEET YOU!!!!!
Your new pictures are so pretty, by the way. You’re glossy and so warm Maha. I’m totally stalking you…….
I know what it is about you that I like >>>>> you actually have integrity. Most people don’t.
Thanks for sharing that that story was so long ago. I went through your acrchives >>>>>>> it’s about a boy! I knew it when I read it!!!! Thanks for telling us, anyway.
Are you going to be posting more regularly now?
HI MIKE – WELCOME!!!!!
HUGS,
Maria
Mon Feb 23, 12:01:00 PM
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Anonymous lily said…
Thank God for new entries ~ I saw this earlier today and was so excited that I decided to not read it until I got home and had my hot chocolate. Fuck, Maha, you’re a lot nicer than I am. I’ve always respected your ability to look at the asshole in people and then push through to seeing something good. When I judge people, I don’t bother looking for a fucking reason. Some people are just assholes and their behavior is shit shit shit and overall SHIT.
Thanks for telling us about the context of that story ~ I’ve always wondered about that one…
To above comments ~ I think Maha’s a lot softer than she appears, even with all of her ‘rationale’. I think that after reading you for a few years, I can say safely that for all of your ferocity, when you break, you shatter like a little girl whose lost her best friend.
Thanks for writing us, Maha. -lily
Mon Feb 23, 07:37:00 PM
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Anonymous Anonymous said…
hi one female canuck.
i am new here, because a friend sent me a link to a few of your article.
i have been reading you non stop for the last over 5 hours.
i am a little embarrased to comment, but feel i should tell you that you have a ferocity in how you position yourself in the world that shows in your writing.
you have a really awe-inspiring passion about life that is humbling.
thank you.
jp
Wed Feb 25, 11:31:00 PM
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Anonymous Anonymous said…
Love the new piece. But some people are just assholes and their behavior is just assholish. Judgemenet made without mercy or understanding, except understanding that some people are plain old fashioned fucking idiots.
You don’t always have to be so nice ![]()
Sun Mar 01, 12:50:00 AM