Prolific Immigrant

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I am responsible.
You are responsible.

For yummy treats in Austin, please find a list of restaurants here.

Please note: 90% of the images were taken with a disposable camera; please forgive the sh*t quality, but notice how interesting the detailing is on the trees. (Seriously.)

Hotel-ing
I stayed at The Kimber Modern – a spot I recommend to all, should you have the cash flow to support the luxury – as well as at Martha Gannon’s Bat House (or, what the folks at the Kimber Modern call The Artist’s Loft).

Martha is a world-class artist whose work you will recognise if you’re at all interested in the universe of art. I didn’t know she was who she was until I started poking around her website, at which point I was stunned and humbled. Apart from being one of the nicest people I met while in Austin – and with whom I wish I’d spent more time – my introduction to Martha came at the same time as meeting her momma, who struck me as a typical Texas spitfire.

When I arrived, Momma had been outside and didn’t – for fear of slipping – want to walk past the plants which had just been watered. Martha indicated that she thought she should go past because the water wasn’t slippery. Momma said a simple and flat: “I think it is” and that was the end of that. There was a clear strength (with a lot of honey) in the way Momma delivered her answer, which was punctuated with the unspoken “…now this conversation is over”. That’s a talent, my friends, and one I am learning slowly. Texan women have it in spades.

Staying in Martha’s home was like staying inside of an art bubble as she had designed the entire space from zero to one hundred and then had it built (she worked construction to put herself through university and so was familiar with the inner workings, drawing everything to scale; also, her brother is a mechanical engineer and so helped with the creation of the Bat House) – I was almost too scared to touch anything because of its beauty. I must here give a quick nod of appreciation to her book collection where the quality of literature was a pleasure to peruse.

Bat House

Front ‘porch’

Roof-top Patio – with a functional tub that I did not use, but should have as it is entirely private

Shower – my favourite space in the Bat House (this is weird, I know)

Living room / bedroom, which is behind the couch, and two ‘walls’ of which are in fact white curtains that you draw closed

Kitchen

More photos can be found here, where pictures 3-10 are of the Bat House.

SoCo
For those of you familiar with Austin, both the Kimber Modern and the Bat House are located directly behind The Continental Club. South Congress, a spot that in 2000, only had Allen’s Boots (still there) and The Gun Shoppe (no longer there), is instead today riddled with great little eateries and boutiques.

The neighbourhood is called SoCo and is a must-visit while in Austin.
Among the shoppes you should walk into and greet are:
- Lucy in Disguise (1506 S. Congress)
- New Bohemia (1601 S. Congress)
- Uncommon Objects (1512 S Congress)
- Farm-to-Market grocery (1300 S Congress) – possibly the only spot where the food you may purchase isn’t fried, breaded and / or covered in hot sauce; also, I recommend that pick up any variety of Austin Slow Burn jelly

Aside: I walked into the Hotel San Jose, which is directly on South Congress, and it is beautiful, with a greater hint of Texas feel than the Kimber Modern (which is more California, in terms of architecture).

Zilker, Barton Springs & Umlauf
Possibly even before visiting SoCo, you really must walk down to the Umlauf Sculpture Garden (605 Robert E Lee Rd) , arguably the most stunning spot in Austin. I spent some hours seated in the garden writing and reading, enjoying the calm and beauty of the space.

Among the stunning sculptures were

War Mother

Refugees II

Angel’s Wing (which, for some reason, quite nearly made me cry)

Pictures of the beautiful garden itself…

Across the street and a little down the steps from Umlauf is a beautiful walk along the river, which takes you right into the heart of Austin. (This is one of my favourite pictures.)

If you’d like, you may kayak, canoe or cycle-boat (I don’t know what they’re called) along the river. Just make certain to take a photo of your finger, like I, while you’re at it.

You may also swim, which I managed to do on my last day but only because I forced myself to do so as I didn’t wish to leave Austin a second time without having swam in the river. But I didn’t get baptised, though I’m certain it would have happened had I stuck around long enough. Most certainly, someone would have tried to de-Hell-ify my Muslim self, eventually.

Right down the way from Umlauf is the Zilker Botanical Gardens which is, unfortunately, not that great (it may simply be the time of year). I walked around for an approximate two hours looking for flowers and found only weeds; I may have also found one exceptionally creepy man lurking in the bushes, but I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. What’s even worse than the garden is their “map” of the garden, which looks like it was drawn by my best friend’s 3 year old son. I’m pretty certain that if any employees from the botanical gardens read this, they will place a fatwah on my stupid a**, so for the record I will say that: YOU ARE ALL VERY NICE – it’s just your flowers that I didn’t much care for. (Instead of Zilker, apparently, you are much better suited to head over to the Lady Bird Johnson Wildlife Centre.)

While next to Umlauf and Zilker, you have to take a dip in the Barton Springs Pool, which is lovely and cool. Warning: Go during the week, or risk swimming in the Barton Springs & Pee Pool, courtesy of the million children free of school confines on the weekend.

This was the first thing I saw at the Zilker Botanical Garden. It was also the most beautiful.

The Capital
I mean, really? George Dubya started here. So, you also must take a walk through the more governmental spaces in Austin in order to visit the courts, the capital and the (now burned) governor’s mansion.

…and where you will find gems such as the following, which I love (because nothing says Texas like the following). I waited around, lurking like a creep, hoping to see the – I will go out on a limb here and think it a man – dude who owned this car, but I got bored and instead went hunting for the UT campus:

University of Texas
I got lost. No surprise there; and was helped along by a very friendly English lit Professor who, instead of simply giving me directions, chose to instead go out of his way to walk my lost self over to where I was going. This was no small endeavour as he spent nearly 15 minutes with me chatting about literature and such…

You’re in Austin, you must see both the notorious ‘Death Tower’ (and the football stadium, of which I would have taken pictures, had my disposable camera not committed suicide).

You must also see the beautiful (and much famed) Coppini Littlefield Fountain:

As well as play inside of this interactive piece (directly outside of The Blanton, which sits at the edge of campus). Can you see me?

Also while on campus, make sure to find both the fraternity and sorority homes in order to acknowledge the weird (and I would argue: dangerous) exclusionary pack mentality permeating the United States.

Museums
- Harry Ransom Centre (to see the Gutenberg Bible and the first photograph, as well as make fun of poor Harry’s name)

- The Austin Museum of Art

- The Austin Museum of Contemporary Art
- Mexic-Arte Museum (where, oddly enough, the only language is English, and where this is the contributory note I wrote:

…and stuck on their wall, because I was offended:

- Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum (and watch the propaganda riddled Star of Destiny for a little giggle)
- The Blanton Museum of Art
- Austin’s Children’s Museum (SO MUCH FUN!)

Music
- The Continental Club (naturally…)

- Walk along 6th Street on any given night, listen for what you like and jump in head first

Miscellaneous Randoms Across Austin

Texan manner

‘Vibrancy’ on the city street

Cadillac

PUPPY! (For those of you in the know, I am terrified of dogs (because as a child, I was bitten by one and chased by another who nearly killed me), but this little guy was so tiny and squiggly and snugly, he was hard not to love…)

Gorgeous Lisa & Jay.Dub (both of whom are mentioned here)

Hurley (of Chance & Hurley, mentioned here)

And finally, if your feet don’t look like this – covered in bandages – by the time you’re ready to leave Austin, then you’ve not done enough walkin’ and you need to git off yer ass a little more next you’re there…

To see all Austin photos, feel free to pop over here…

(One last entry to come, just about my general state of head and heart re Austin.)

Note: You will not finish any portion served up unless you’re from Texas; it’s not a joke that everything in Texas is bigger. I don’t understand how it is that Austin isn’t covered in immovable obese objects. (And by ‘objects’, I mean ‘people’.)

.1. Have a burger and some steak fries at the Casino El Camino – the theme is horror and the place is as kitschy as it gets; you will love it.

.2. Visit Shakespeare’s and ask for Dax, Joe or Jay-Dub. Tell them I sent you.

.3. Enjoy an ice-cold chai latte at Jo’s, which is an awesome place to hang out and people watch.

.4. Right before you head down to Guero’s to have a taco – I recommend the chicken al carbon taco. Thanks to Lisa for this tidbit: “Guero”, pronounced oo-ero is Spanish / Mexican slang for “white boy”, kind of like general slang “cracker”, also for “white boy”.

.5. Breakfast at Magnolia Cafe any time of day. Some of the best eggs benedict anywhere, though they are famous for the psychotically large pancakes, which are probably about 2.5 times the size of a normal pancake.

.6. Have a deep-fried chicken cone at The Mighty Cone “trailer”, which is what Canadians call a chip-wagon. It looks disgusting but is heavenly. (“Trailers” are a very commonplace and acceptable location to dine. Seriously.)

.7. Enjoy a breakfast taco at Torchy’s trailer.

.8. Try the banana bread and home-made ice-cream at The Driskill’s 1886 cafe & bakery (6th street). The serving size is, yet again, huge, with the cut of cake being nearly 2″ in thickness.

.9. Make certain to have traditional Texas bbq at Iron Works BBQ. They serve it with a piece of white bread, untoasted. I just sort of stared at mine and didn’t eat it, choosing to instead merely appreciate the extra carbs they’d decided to throw on my plate.

Lisa & Mike – a fantastic couple who have been together for 9 years, married for nearly 5. Their wee dog’s name is Diego – Mike’s originally from Memphis and Lisa from San Antonio – she is the prettiest girl I saw in Austin and super sweet. Instead of saying goodbye, she gave me the warmest hug and vanished into thin air…I look forward to seeing them again next I visit that wonderful city.

Papps - Quite possibly the funniest mother fkr I have ever met. We spent an evening making fun of random people in the most politically incorrect way (e.g. we saw a commercial for The Dwarf Family on TLC and it was all downhill from there). At Shakespeare’s there is a television set and I got to watch cable (REAL CABLE!) – excitedly and like a child who’d never seen a television set, I watched with great enthusiasm a show called Weaponizers, and Papps simply watched me or rather, he stared at me in awe and with a little fear as I was “hootn’n hollerin’” when things were blown up on the television. Somewhere in my heart is a white trash girl dying to get out…

Originally from Wheaton, Illinois, Papps moved out to Austin 10 years back. Like myself, he is a cartoon character come to life and has no issues proposing marriage to a woman he’s just met. Apparently, his father — Papps Senior, The Greek — would approve, though his mother wouldn’t like me.

Jay.Dub. – left New Orleans with only his PlayStation one day before Katrina hit. His dad sells farm equipment in Plainview Texas (where Jay.Dub. was born and bred). We talked about gun control…because he owns a gun. A gentleman who tattooed the New Orleans area code on his bicep, next to the Texas flag. Funnily enough, he tends to lean left, or so he says (this is not a reference to politics – but rather to physical leaning – though generally I think he leans left). His tattoos are on his left arm, too. When he lined up that white ball on the pool table, it was sort of to the left. Kind of adorable, n’est pas?

He’s traveled all over the world and knows more trivia than anyone I’ve ever met; also, he didn’t finish uni and he’s a super smart cookie, so I really really do hope he returns…tons of potential in that boy that can be reached would he set his mind to doing so. Super sweet & kind.

Martha Gannon - A tried, tested and true brilliant artist in whose loft I stayed for a part of this trip. She will receive an entry specific to her and her talent…

…that about covers it in terms of people. More stories to come, and finally, some photos (your lame webMistress forgot the charger to her camera’s battery, so lost one full day of picture taking and ended up taking some pics on the berry, and others on two disposable cameras. Dumb. Dumber still is that had it not been for Baby Jane, I would not have thought to pick up a disposable camera, and would have instead kept shaking my fist at the idea of having forgotten my charger. My privileged ass didn’t even know they still made disposable cameras.)

So far, anyway, here are the people who have livened up my stay in Austin…

Shawn, Irish ex-pat working at The Driskill bar – Has a general disliking of his kinfolk; “There’s a reason I left Ireland. Why would I like them if I left?” Also, he wants to punch people in their I Am Drunk And Going To Get A $200 Tattoo. I agreed wholeheartedly with him about everything starting at politics and moving right along to religion and even random general stereotyping.

Trenton, The Driskill’s concierge - We had a brief discussion about hockey and he was shocked that I (a) knew Canada has only 6 hockey teams, and (b) could name them all. As soon as he found out I was Canadian, he dropped “eh” into the conversation very appropriately.

Louisa & Rick-formerly-Wick, from Dallas – up in Austin because ‘their’ niece graduated college. Their is in quotes because I don’t think they’re in fact related, but rather refer to one another as the same entity when discussing each other. They met when she was 14 and he 15 and have been together ever since, with two young boys aged 17 and 21. When I met Rick, I called him Wick for the first half hour of our conversation; in Texas, Wick may very well be a normal name, and if it isn’t, then it damn well should be because who doesn’t want to name their kid ‘Wick’?

Some 22 Year Old Girl Drunk Off Her Ass – I walked into Shakespeare’s Pub to say hello to The Commonwealth Crew I had met on Thursday evening. There was an open casting call at Shakespeare’s for Bad Girls Live, aka Drunk Girls Bein’ Fkn Stupid, On Camera, While Surrounded By Degenerate Boys.

I digress…so, I walked in wearing my jeans, my hat, a hoodie and carrying my backpack.

“Would you like to register?”
“For what?”
“For (insert name)!”
“No. But I’d like to have a chat with the person running your show…”
She thought I was kidding.

A few moments later, Some 22 Year-Old Girl Drunk Off Her Ass came over and started chatting with us. Her first words to me were “Yer soooooo pretty. Argh yew hear fer thu castin’ call? They’ll take eww!” and then turned to Some Random Creepy Male Stranger and shouted “SUCK IT WEEEE-HEEW!” to which Louisa (of Rick-formerly-Wick & Louisa) said “This little girl’d better not blow chunks on my back ‘cus I swear to God…!”

For a solid 20 minutes, Some 22 Yeal-Old Girl Drunk Off Her Ass kept trying to buy us shots of liquor. None of us would take ‘em – Joe, the bartender, was serving “shots” (“shooters” are Canadian) of water, I believe, or maybe I made that up. Eithre way, this little girl had no idea what was going on.

Maha: “So, are you here by yourself?”
Some 22 Yeal-Old Girl Drunk Off Her Ass: “Yes I am! WEEE-HEEEW!”
Maha: “You’re not here with any girlfriends or a male friend? Some people to look out for you?”
Some 22 Yeal-Old Girl Drunk Off Her Ass: “NO! I do this ALL the time! YEEEEAAAAH!”
Maha: “We need to get you a cab. You need to go home, little girl. You need to go home or else you’re going to get yourself into a lot of trouble…”

After some minor grappling and after Rick-formerly-Wick pulled her off of a man as she was feigning felatio (a word not in spell check!), we shoved her Drunk Ass into a cab.

Jo, bartender, from Houston – Awesome Christian dude. We had some extremely interesting conversations – guy is bright and spot-on about faith. Much common ground between his brand of Jesus-lovin’ and my own, so we exchanged war stories, tag teamed when someone asked us about abortion and between the Bible and the Quran, helped get Some 22 Year-Old Girl Drunk Off Her Ass in a cab and home, after which we actually high-fived one another (…don’t like it? Think we’re being judgmental? Then respectfully, I say: Go fk yourself, please.).

Crazy Dude Askin’ About Abortion – “HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT TO MAKE IT ILLEGAL WHEN IT’S MURDER!??!!!!”

I don’t know how we did it, but Joe and I managed to calm his sorry self down even though we were at opposite ends of the political / moral / religious spectrum from him.

Allison, formerly of London, Ontario & her roommate Peter, formerly of Australia (aka The Commonwealth Crew) - She has a heart of gold and told me a hilarious story about her ex-husband, a Texan who when she gave him a Roots t-shirt, asked her if it was a “black thing”.

Brian, Dude From Jersey – This is the guy to go to if you need something from someone in any place in Austin. Conversation topics ranged from: the Ottawa Senators to religion, adoption and birth control.

S from New Zealand – introduced herself to me while listening to Chuck Prophet at The Continental Club.

Nice girl…drunk, doing a tour of the deep south (should I capitalize this?) to listen to Gospel Music.

Chance & Hurly – Chance is the master, Hurly is his dog. I met Chance on Leavin’ Day –14. In exactly two weeks, he’s starting a road trip to learn about bio-fuels and how to grow your own food. He’s en route to New Mexico where he hopes to work for earthship.org.

We discussed the gentrification of East Austin, though I refrained from using that word, instead posing leading questions about what he thought happened to the poor when the rich went in and bought up the land so that they may then build little boutiques and cafes.

Edited to add: more good folks can be found here.

Hello – 24 hours in Austin have been crazy and wonderful.

I don’t have much time for internet-ing so here’s the rundown thus far:
.1. Austin men are thoroughbreds.

.2. The moment I stepped off the plane and was hit with the heat and the humidity and the smell of sand, I immediately felt at home.

.3. Though my hair did not as she remains frazzled and in a strong state of protest.

.4. I am staying 7 steps from The Continental Club, which is where I’m headed tonight.

.5. Dropped by our old haunting ground – a particular pub on 6th St – and met a lovely crew from The Commonwealth; one Canadian and one Australian.

.6. I dined on real serious Texas bbq at Iron Works BBQ. They served it up on a piece of white bread with corn and coleslaw. Texas bbq, for those of you unaware, is a particular rub and then the meat placed inside of a special oven which has indirect heat filtering in that cooks the meat. I ate with a gecko sitting next to me – very small, very lime green, very friendly. It didn’t leave until I did. (Maybe it’s not a gecko? What’s lime green?)

.7. I discovered an amazing little coffee shop called Jo’s — right on South Congress, across from The Continental Club — completely laid back and chill, open concept and an excellent menu.

.8. Hit up a little jazz club last night called The Elephant Room – highly recommended next you’re in this City.

.9. No one wears a helmet in Austin.

.10. They’re very nice to you while you’re crossing the street – each and every single one of them will stop for you.

More tomorrow!

More pictures — many more — of US soldiers torturing human beings.

Obama’s decided not to allow publication of the images, stating that the decision was because he felt that their release would endanger American troops.

Fail.

You know what endangers US troops, President Obama? The fact that they’re acting like assholes in the first place — the fact that they’re torturing human beings. Full fucking stop.

It’s not the pictures.
It’s the actions.
Fail @ one million.

I am too tired to write something more coherent on this for rabble, so this will have to do. It’s from the bberry so forgive spelling errors and grammatical tool-edness.

Comments closed.

Based on my recent blog entry titled Not Lives of Girls and Women, I was asked to write about apathy. It’s a little more philosophical than most rabble pieces, so I do hope you’ll enjoy it!

Am off to Austin for the week,and completely off-line. Enjoy the next few days, please!

You are all quite familiar with Janey. This is her wearing the scarf I knit and sent her way two weeks back – it is ‘The Johnny Scarf’, J not standing for Janey. Long, yes? It took weeks to complete and is meant to provide warmth when I can’t reach over and hug her. It is me as a knit stitch.

She is among my best of friends and she lives in Toronto until 16h hours today, at which point she boards a plane to Halifax.

I miss her already, quite possibly more than words can express.
Janey and I communicate daily, all day long, never running out of things to say (thank you berry messenger). There is a solid energy of support as foundation for each other’s actions – a foundation that both she and I would tell you can withstand absolutely anything.

It was in university that we met through my old friend Scott, a bartender at Oliver’s Pub on campus. Janey was underage and so was the (greatest and sunniest) front door girl who took your money and stamped her approval of entry.

We met once, in passing, through Scott.

A few days later, I was standing in front of the Oliver’s entrance staring at a phone wondering to myself whether I should call a particular number or not. I needed sisterly support, understanding and hand holding.

I also needed an extra individual to remember the telephone number I was supposed to dial; I was so nervous that numbers kept falling out of my head against my will. None of my girlfriends were in the neighbourhood at that particular moment; I looked over my right shoulder, made eye-contact with Baby Jane, walked over and asked for her help and support, which she gave me without a moment’s hesitation.

She stood next to me at the phone, repeating the last four digits as though they were a mantra. I dialed, the phone rang, she squealed, I responded to the ‘hello’, she smiled a little more and motioned to me that she would be over there.

Coming off the telephone, I went over and we had our first date. We had a drink at Oliver’s and it felt as though we had known one another for our entire lives. There was no hesitation in conversation, no holding back of details or information. It was, in so far as the way friendships are created and develop, most definitely magical.

The rest, as they say, would become history.

At different times in our lives, and depending on the situation and environment at hand, different people catch us and help us stand up again. Sometimes, they don’t catch us but rather sit next to us while we refuse to stand, preferring to instead stay close to the ground a little longer for fear of another fall. Baby Jane has been doing this for me for the last little while – I for her, also.

Everything I have learned from the most gracious and loving BB, I have been able to apply to Janey this past near year. I love them both for the opportunity to grow and learn, understanding the possibility of honest and true and good friendships riddled with sentences such as
“I don’t agree with what you’re doing, but I will support you through this idiotic undertaking because I love you”
and
“The way you treated that person? That wasn’t right. That wasn’t right and your mother taught you differently and you know it. You need to make amends immediately.”
and
“I need you to set your ego aside, my love, and really take a step back before I tell you what I’m about to tell you”
without there being a break in friendship or fear of hurt.

It is amazing. She is amazing. And so, on her new adventure to Halifax, I would love for each of you to please send Baby Jane your best energy and your greatest amount of warmth. Keep her in your hearts and minds as the next little while will be a challenge (which she will overcome, but a challenge nonetheless). Thank you.

Janey – I kove yoy very much.