.1. An earwig melts if you spray it with Lysol.
I have been spraying and running; this is how I know.

Last night, I watched one earwig die and melt in on itself.

If there were a Criminal Court of Insects, I would be tried for the illegal use of chemical warfare.

.2. I tried a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino from Starbucks the other day and nearly peed myself out of sheer pleasure. I recommend you give this beverage a go and request the whip cream, as well.

If they don’t recognise the name “Vanilla Bean Frappuccino”, try asking for a “Fat Ass In A Cup”.

Let me know how that works out for you.

.3. Conversation at a restaurant / bar.

Man: “Hi, how are you?”
Maha: “Good thanks.”
Man: “I’m good too, thanks.”
Maha: “Cool!”
Man: “I’m (insert name). Would you like to join me and my table for a drink?”
Maha (looks over at table and sees three other men in suits and some randoms; men are noticeable because they’re the only ones in the joint wearing suits): “No, but thank you. I’m here with my own friends.”
Man: “They can join us too, if you’d like.”
Maha: “Not really. But thank you. I should get back to…”
Man: “I’m with the (insert name of Native Nation or something like that).”
Maha: “O. Okay. Well. I’m a Palestinian. I really have to go, thanks. BYE.”
Man: “You’re a Palestinian?”
Maha (leaving and returning to my table): “Yeah. Awesome, right? Most people never guess. BYE.”

When I returned to my table, I told my friends that I had met someone who told me to which Native nation he belonged; that it sounded kind of Native, but I really wasn’t certain that it was. My friends informed me that it was not the name of his Native tribe (e.g. like ‘Sioux’), but was rather the name of the sports team to which he belonged.

Now re-read the last four lines of the conversation to understand what kind of a clueless fool your WebMomma truly is.

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