Dear Friday Night Lights Writers,
I understand that you are removing Matthew Saracen from Dillon.
So help me God if you asshats kill off Granmaw Saracen.
That is all.
Dear COACH ERIC TAYLOR,
HI! How are you? I am so very very good because you’re back tomorrow.
I hope you will be wearing your angry man shorts and your angry eyebrows. Also, I hope that Buddy Garrity will defect from the Dillon Panthers and love the East Dillon Giraffes instead.
GO EAST DILLON!
Dear Principal Tami Taylor,
Hi, how are you? I have missed our long conversations. So much so that earlier today? I sent an email to Baby Jane in which – and among other things, of course, Tami – I wrote out TAMI TAYLOR’S BOOBS! in 36 size bold violet font. I was communicating to Baby Jane how excited I am to see you tomorrow.
She misses you too, Tami.
I hope you wear them high and proud, sister.
Hugs and kisses,
P.S. Remember how a while back I told you that we were thinking of going somewhere and we’d love for you to come with us? Well, we’ve decided to go kayaking in the Pacific, zip-lining through the rain-forest and hiking up volcanoes in Costa Rica over Christmas. WANNA COME?
Dear Taylor Kitsch,
For tomorrow night’s Season 4 premiere, I bought a new dress in your honor.
It is plaid and with snap buttons and clearly shows how big my brain is.
I really hope you like it.
Are you watching Friday Night Lights yet, kittens?