Crushing chocolate bars and mixin’er up

Chocolate bar, regular: A mash up of cocoa and such, nearly 50% of which is sugar.

When you’re making any variety of hot chocolate from scratch, I implore you to use an already sweetened chocolate bar rather than a baking chocolate, reason being that a baking chocolate has very little sugar and you will run out of sugar trying to sweeten up the hot chocolate you’re making to the point where your guest utters incredulously, as you pour more sugar into the pot: ‘Ok, this is getting scary’, before they are nice enough to pretend they enjoyed a little bit of the hot chocolate syrup you made and to which they added an additional half a cup of milk after you’ve cooked it to within an inch of its life and you are discombobulated because you usually make a mean anything and then magically, you are the worst host in the world because you can’t make a cup of freaking hot chocolate, the taste of which stays with you over night, even though you threw out the rest the night before and flossed and brushed your teeth and doused yourself with spray Lysol to get rid of the taste and the shivers brought on by the memory.

Or, you can just do what I did this morning en route to work and save yourself the necessity of adding ‘milk & sugar’ to your grocery list.

Original Recipe (OR): Two people whose friend chemistry works extremely well.

Crush: Take the OR and wonder aloud to strangers on the street, beneath your breath at a meeting, while you’re on a bus staring at one of the aforementioned strangers, while seated on a Ferris wheel or buying the wrong variety of chocolate…what would happen if I added a few new ingredients to the OR? Maybe a little saffron, turmeric and a dash of chilli?.

Life: What happens regardless of the addition of saffron, turmeric and a dash of chilli.

Friendship: Withstands all of the above, and then some.