Prolific Immigrant

Dear Vatican -

I am doing this on the fly and so please forgive my quickness and really shit grammar and spelling; also, I am a Muslimah – and God is my savior, not Jesus. I hope this won’t make you wish to send me to Hell. Thank you.

A few things – primarily, your home is gorgeous and I thank you for letting me in at a cost. Really.

I have some recommendations on how you may improve your generosity. Primarily, I would ask that you improve your signage, because on a few occasions, I didn’t know whether my bum was to my left or atop my head. At first, I assumed this was because of my chosen Faith, until the Catholic with whom I was traveling shared that she was as confused as I.

Second, please consider contracting Disney to take care of ‘the situation’ of the staircase which leads one up to the Dome of the Basilica – your 551 steps are not the problem, but you should have both rest-stops for peeing and drinking. If not, then consider adding some cute pages who would throw water at us as we ascend the stairs (much like those who hang on the side of a race track).

Also, maybe consider adding a slide for the descent. Give your gatherers a choice to slide down…and maybe land in a vat of holy water? This would be fun.

Or, you could possibly have a ride (with ‘It’s a Small World After All’ in the background) that takes one up to the Dome while seated in mini Pope Mobiles, and with all of the different popes coming out and spinning around us. Naturally, your pages would be the ones who help us on and off in their Court Jester like suits. Adorable are they with their gorgeous thick luscious heads of hair. Did you choose them this way on purpose? Do you think they’re pretty? Because, really, they are very pretty, and very young boys.

Finally, my deepest apologies for the near international incident I caused. Two actually. The time when I was waving into your cameras on the stairway from the Dome, and which nearly led to the tumbling down of many of your Catholics. Also, the time I thought it would be fun to stand inside of your confessional and have my picture taken. If you had proper signage (please see above reference) then I would not have thought such a shot would make an excellent photo opp (although it did, as your boys were a little late on the tut-tutting).

Thanks again. All my sisterly – and not in a nun kind of way, although I did greatly admire their hijab – love in Faith and belief in God.

Peace,
Maha

Leaving for Rome & London tomorrow and I promise stories while there; thank you for the well wishes re travels…xox

Video no1 – Kitty took this while we were on Cypress Mountain waiting for the men’s aerials to begin.

Video no2 – The final few moments before Canadian girls win hockey Gold.

Video no3 -”The kind of hail that breaks your face…” (thank you, Baby Jane)

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Love this. Love him. Thank him.

Watch. Think. Learn. Share. Thank you.

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As many of you have already noted, I have not been doing much writing since December of 2009.  This is not because of anything specific, but rather because I have been overwhelmed by life, work and travel.  I was in Costa Rica, and then in Vancouver, and now I am preparing to travel to both Rome and London.

In the past, I used to carry my laptop with me on every single trip, something which I have foolishly stopped doing.  To Rome and London my little writing friend will join me and so force me to write write write and not feel so sad that I have not been writing.  So much more of the same amazing sentences as this later; no doubt you are all over the moon.

Additionally, I feel as though I must offer a shout-out to life, because this bastard has kept me from writing as often as I would like.  My God, I am a supreme asshole for ‘Boo Hoo’ing because my social circle, family circle and travel circle are generally filled with amazing things that remove me from the front of a computer screen.  Pardon me as I take a moment to reflect on my assholeishness.

Right.  Now that that’s done, I will add that tonight is the very first night in nearly a month that I have taken to myself.  I had some invites to see and visit with good people I adore and I instead said Screw you and your invitation to socialize, I’d rather make out with WordPress…only, it sounded more like I would really love to but need to go home, do a load of laundry and just chill out while doing a little writing.  It’s been ages since I forced myself to do that and it’s making me sad and edgy. So thank you for the invite, but I’m going to have to take a rain check. I am rambly that way.

So here I am.  And I am excited to be here and rambling away.

I have also promised myself that I would write no matter what; that even if I were tired and exhausted, I would still force myself to exercise my writing muscle.  Quite possibly, this means that there will be a consortium of shorter and shittier entries.  Hurrah!

This is the first of many such short and shitty entries.  More to come!  Enjoy.

(Note that: I am tonight organizing both my Vancouver pics, as well as my Costa Rica pics.  Stories about both very soon.)

Blogger vs. WordPress?

WordPress wins.

Right.  So, as with any fantastical theater production, much has to happen behind the scenes before any successfull measure of anything.  My God, succesfull / sucessfull / successful is a difficult word to spell.  (FYI, it is composite of a double ‘c’, double ‘s’ and lone ‘l’.)

Recently, Blogger sent a really lovely ‘fuck you’ to those who use FTP something or other to publish to their own site.  I don’t know much of anything about anything, let alone the sociopath  to which we politely refer as ‘technology’, but I do know that what Blogger did was really rather mean and bullying.

FTP publishing, in Mahanese is simple: I used to use the software provided by Blogger – there, I would write up my little entries, press a virtual button, and Blogger would then take this entry and ‘push / publish’ it on to my onefemalecanuck.com immediately.  Easy.  Until they decided to delete this ‘push / publish’ heaven sent, because only .5% of their users utilize it.  ‘No Blogger Left Behind’ is not Blogger’s motto, it would seem.

Over the years, I have heard from every single one of my eight friends that WordPress is the way to go; that it is much more user friendly and intuitive.  Also, they don’t tend to ‘fuck you’ any writer, no matter how teeny tiny their world may be.

And so, I have moved here, and am typing this within the interface that is provided by WordPress.  Already, I like it more because it’s prettier.

I owe this transition to T, who very patiently answered all of my panicked (one ‘c’ and an additional ‘k’) rambly questions and concerns.  I am certain it helps our friendship a great deal that she has two very young daughters, and so the communications tricks she uses with them, she also uses with me.  For those of you unfamiliar with T, or would like to contact her re her exceptional website creations, please note that you may find her here.  (Thank you.  Love you.  Owe you.)