God fathers amputating flowers in a heatwave

.1. A few weeks back, D told me that my m.o. is to cut. Her exact words were “You’re a cutter. You amputate. Someone fucks around, they’re gone and you’re lethal about it. Clean lines where you’re concerned. Like an emotional Jedi Master with one of those amazing lit up sabers, only you have emotions, not a saber. Know what I mean?”

The above paragraph was drafted in May of last year, 13 months back. Interesting that this is likely what Maxi refers to as “the shut off valve”. Others have noticed it, but he gave it the most interesting name; Maxi wins!

.2. Faith plays an enormous part in my life. Even when I don’t realize it, when I actively ignore it, when I am pissed off with it, when I am an idiot about it, when I am unaware of it, it is always present.

Conversations with friends have a way of eventually coming around to: politics, economics, relationships, Hollywood and faith matters. Naturally, there is too an element of Crack thrown in for good measure.

Someone the other day asked me what standards I would apply to choosing Islam on a daily basis. Because, no matter that I was born into Islam, no matter that my family is Muslim, but by me declaring myself a Muslimah daily, that is a choice made several times within a 24 hour period. I think, perhaps, this is why it is a component of prayer in Islam; a reminder that it is always a choice. That if you stop saying it, you cease choosing it.

So, then, why do I routinely and every day choose Islam (even when I am an idiot)?

It took me a while to pull together a very simple and coherent response. Finally this morning, en route to work, I realized the why of my choosing.

My starting point will be different from yours, but you may choose to engage in understanding your own process if for no other reason than pure awareness of your self.

I see Intelligent Order and Design and that to me is the starting point for Faith. Even in Chaos, I see that same Order. But this one’s easy; it can be any sort of energy as described by a number of faiths / philosophies.

So, the more important point then is that which draws me to an understanding of and existence in Allah.

Simply put, I can not believe that injustice can go unpunished; I can not believe that a child rapist will have the luxury of never being caught, and then dropping dead and not having to ever face the children they raped. Based on my political understanding and perspective, I must believe in Justice as it extends beyond the temporal. And so I believe there is a Judge in the divine sense, and that is what creates balance and order in my world. (Go ahead and call it a crutch. Or maybe opt for an imagination instead, silly. “Crutch” is so 1983.)

Those are my two simplest and clearest starting points.
Chime in as you see fit, please. (Too personal? Keep using the email addy…)

.3. When you have a daughter, be the first man to send her flowers. Do it on a random day and for no reason other than: She is yours, and you’re her Poppa. (Forget about the gender divide here; instead focus on the reality that she will be bombarded with the weird notion that the right man brings you flowers. We likely agree that this is awkward on many levels, so let’s leave it to another entry.)

.4. It is 42 degrees in my City tonight. I have soaked through all t-shirts, and am sticking to random objects passing by. My hair is a mess of curls and all I wish to do is lay around like a big carrot drinking ice-water. All of which makes me very happy.

(Tip & trick for those of you without a/c: run a towel under cold water; ring it out well; drape it over your fan; and, enjoy the cool breeze. You’re welcome.)