Once upon a time, an Arabic family was scared I was going to use my feminine wiles to steal their son right from underneath their noses. Scared because I was the daughter of divorce, and well…you know what that means. After this gent and I met, and clearly hit it off, his mother took it upon her self to call my family at the crack of dawn the next morning and tell us that they had the perfect man for me. He was the son of divorced parents. We’d have a lot to talk about.
Once upon a time, a lovely Arabic man professed his care for me. He was a few years younger and he was wonderful (still is). When he told his family he wanted to marry me, his mother and sister — then someone I considered among my dearest friends — told him I was too strong for him and too old. So his sister contacted me a few weeks later to tell me she had the perfect man for me. He was approximately 20 years my senior. She remains blocked on Face book, her and her laughably pathetic and backward ways.
Once upon a time, an Arabic fella aged 28 to my then 30, asked me if I had ever been in love. Because he hadn’t. Because that was a sin. His follow up question was: Have I ever kissed a boy. With tongue. (Are you screaming? Because I still am.)
Once upon a time, an Arabic man aged 34 asked me if I was a virgin. Because he was. Even though he had never been single. And I really can’t wait to play Blind Leading The Blind.
Once upon a time, an Arabic dude put in an order for a beautiful woman, with a higher education and good morals. He was sent my way to tell me that he wanted me to marry him so that we could move to Saudi where I would then take care of his ailing parents, hang my diploma and “just be smart” while having “smart babies.” Also, I’d have time to maintain my looks, Thanks God.
Once upon a time, right after Uni, an Arabic Muslim fella formerly married to a Christian American fem asked me if I had ever had a teenie tiny smallest sip of alcohol. When I told him I had, he shook his head, huffed and puffed and said “we’ll talk about that later!”
HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Once upon a time, an Arabic fella with whom I was coffee-ing for the first time, showed up 30 minutes late because he was too busy “gaming” and his right hand hurt. When I refused to see him a second time, he had his momma call my momma to ask me out on a date. Also, to tell my momma that he wanted to live in his room, in his parents house, with me.
Once upon a time, an Arabic fella asked me if I was comfortable in the same room as men. When I said “uhm. Yes?!” he said “I seeeeee,” DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!
Once upon a time, a Sheikh from Montreal called me because he was told I would be a good match. I don’t know, either, dear reader. But he was pretty much letting it rip in Arabic and I was terrified and he kept calling back while I would hang up and ask him to please not call again and then my mother finally came home to find me in tears. Way to be pious, brother.
Once upon a time, a man asked me if I stuffed (“bti7shi?” in Arabic). When I asked “whaaaaaat?” he responded with “like, grape leaves, and carrots, and eggplant?”
Once upon a time, a boy was after me for years, but I didn’t much like him, because al-ma7abba is from Allah. When I finally accepted to go out for that one coffee, against my own sense of taste and comfort, he decided to clarify — for my benefit so that I would not be hurt — that he was “just browsing.”
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Once upon a time, there was a single girl who never shared her stories, instead burying them deep inside because she always wondered what was it about her that made her single. Until she realized that it wasn’t her, but rather Allah getting rid of all of the riff raff to make more room for the right bloke. InshAllah.
ALEX O’LOUGHLIN!! CALL ME!!
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Photo courtesy of CORBIS.
I will stuff peas for the right dude. This guy, however? I’d like to stuff him.
Once upon a time, Max told you broaden your search plains. Try born agains, I hear they’re really understanding.
Search plains EX-PAN-DED, McG!!
Born agains! They would punch me in my Islam.
Oh girl. Don’t we all have some horror stories?!?! But chica, you really do need to start dating men that don’t need to call your Mom first. Not that it’s not respectful, just that YOU’RE the one making decisions, and you need man that understands that. A semi-open-minded, yet still respectful, intelligent, funny, attractive man. There’s only one reason why you’re single, M. Because you are waiting for someone that deserves and compliments you. And with all you are, your beauty inside and out and the beauty of your mind and your spirit, the man that will match you is rare. And worth the wait. It’s a tall order to be patient and keep putting yourself out there while trying to find him, I know, I’m with you there. But if you didn’t know your self-worth and you had settled for any of the above, you’d have been miserable. Especially with famlies like that. You deserve to be cherished. Stick with it.
maha. this made me pee a little in my seat. max mcguire – i’d like to see YOU do a born-again.
true story: once upon a time i got secretly followed around carleton university by a potential “suitor” who later called my parents to advise that they put their daughter on a tighter leash, as she appeared too “loose”.
true story: once upon a time, an arab man didn’t understand how it was possible that i thought we weren’t compatible, despite the fact that he had green eyes. GREEN EYES damn it! you know those are SOLID GOLD in some parts.
smiles. good times!
I hear you. But I believe its me and not them. only because I know that I still need to shed more tears over assholes..so I can appreciate the real thing when it comes.
.
El 6ayiboon li 6ayibat (translation: good men are for good woman). You will be matched with someone who has the same intentions as you. And when you meet him inshAllah, you will understand and connect the dots as to why it happened now, and not before. Allah has wisdom in everything. May you find your spiritual partner. My mom always tells me dont pray for it to come soon, but pray that when it comes, it will make me forever happy.
THAT WAS BRILLIANT. I laughed, I cried (seriously, I did).
- Aalya
Brilliant.
And yep, still shuddering at the thought of the bloke who decided the way to get what he wanted (me) was to get my mother to get me to date him.
Maha jan, there is a reason I have never sought out an Armenian man. They must have learned their dating customs from the Arabs!
ahahahaha, bti7shiii. 7abibtyyy Mahaa♥ btw, I’m downloading Friday Night Lights now that my exams are kind of over! I watched the first five minutes and I think I’ve found looove.
I thought I have seen most myself but i never came across a ‘do you stuff (“bti7shi?” ) ‘ one.. I was married to one for ages and he only got the grape leaves once so i can claim I did it!! the poor man, no wonder he eventually ran for his life.. i must confess, i never even knew that carrots can be stuffed!!
well.. next time he asks.. “do you stuff?” think of the answer I want to say now but won’t because it would be disrespectful to your readers and just calmly give it to him
as others said, the arab may ask ‘do you stuff’, others will want proof you can ‘do stuff’ before they commit.. not sure where the good ones are but I hear they exist.. so keep looking
I feel your pain…once upon a time an “out of practice” Catholic fell in love with a drinking, smoking, Iranian Muslim…. she then fell in love with an equally “out of practice” Catholic boy from the old neighbourhood and left the Muslim boy…Girl’s mother was heartbroken..GO FIGURE…. Just goes to show..you never can tell.
And I thought I had stories. Why do we attract these kind of folks, M??? WHY?!
Loooooooooooooool “Bte7shi” I can’t believe they would dare ask these questions. See Maha I solved this long time ago, I simply refuseeeeeeeeeee to meet those who call mama or aunties first. If they are open minded enough, they would come ask me directly. But oh boy u’r stories are something.
I died laughing at bte7shi!!!! oh!!
7abibti, all i can say is i love you and the right one will come when you’re ready inshalla. xoox
Jen — thank you for the overly kind words!! All of which: right back at you, but for the men asking your mum part
(on this note, no worries — that ended loooooong ago; I am not one for backward traditions, and this is one such tradition in my very personal view).
eimanie — that first story of yours makes me want to puke in my mouth. What fkn LOSERS most of our Tribe is. God Damn. You should have called his parents and told them they raised a creepy stalker. ICK.
Ghadeer — love this: “My mom always tells me dont pray for it to come soon, but pray that when it comes, it will make me forever happy.”
Also, I have alhamduliLah come to peace with any men in my life. They are all good souls who behaved as wanks. For the later they are forgiven, for the former they will always be cherished. All two of them
May you too one day come to this same place of peace, inshAllah.
Aalya — love you so much xxo
Jules / radochiku / aicha — Respectfully: Eww. Yup. Ditto.
KC — I imagine it is a virus infecting all of the men of the region.
Reemo — back off of Taylor Kitsch! Riggins is mine
Car — amazing, no? Our mothers surprise us in the oddest and most wonderful ways!
Bali — Like I wrote: these stories are merely the TIP of the psychotic iceberg. BOO.
Hanaa — I too did the same thing a couple of years ago. This ass-backwards way is no more in my world. And 99% of the men who come this way have extremely intrusive sticky-beaked mothers. Ugh.
Roors — Or not. I am chill with being single — I see people around me in failed unions, and trust me: I am chill being single and living mastoor 3alayeh than to go through some of the shit I have seen.
If a dude comes, awesome. If not, awesome.
xxo to all
meesho
Hi BB — I don’t know why your comments were in my spam folder. Boo.
They should be showing up now
Yeah…I have come across some real gems in my time. I don’t think it’s any wonder that I have kaiboshed the entire Arab Male. I would like a different ethnicity, please — give the babies some more interesting mix of culture. And keep them away from the fkd up Arabic mommas who raise their boys to be such raging idiots. A3uzu bilLah.
xx
[...] this morning, I woke up thinking about all of the times I have been told don’t laugh so loud, have less of an opinion, pretend you don’t know, don’t argue … Because Allah knows [...]