Maha Monday Column + Video: On being romantically rejected and shamed // Rules for a break-up

At Chai Latte Diaries, a woman gets shamed and mistreated for telling a man she cares about him. I think he is a knob-head who reacted disproportionately, and then gave her the rules to engage for getting over him (essentially, for getting over a break-up): Let’s break this down, before we light it on fire: You had an intense and years-long friendship with a man. You hit quite a few of the marks of a healthy (platonic and also romantic) relationship. While he was single, you had the courage to consider and then articulate “So. This seems like it might be interesting. Shall we investigate it further?” And then he shamed you for this courage.


His reaction sucks, and it is, for lack of a better word, gross. Your courage, it does not.

[…] All we can ever do is receive and work with what people have shown us that they are, and in this scenario, he is fumbling and immature, with neither grace nor emotional intelligence.

Also, what is this sentence: “suggested that I had acted inappropriately by having such feelings which I should have ‘controlled’” ? And what perversion of reality did he have to engage in his mind in order for him to be ‘offended’? He wasn’t married or involved, and so you were not committing some grand transgression. I had to re-read your message to confirm I hadn’t missed something which, no, I hadn’t, and again found myself wondering ‘Huh?’

[…] In this week’s video, I am going to give you ten commandments to get over this ending, and also to address what you should do about your friendship with this person.

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