My body is drenched in eucalyptus oil, the smell of which is mingling with fresh pine, the floor beneath my bare feet. I am sat on an Adirondack chair about to watch the sunset. At a small distance is the water surrounding Nun’s Island, between us trees that sound like they each hold a hundred chimes. I have a yurt to my right. This is heaven; I am actually in heaven.
After an early morning of coffee and croissants, Laurence and I went our separate ways; I to shop, and she to celebrate her papa.
Yesterday, I mentioned that I woke buoyant on hope, and I wanted to touch on this slightly again because I believe that it’s very much worth exploring. This sabbatical has been a journey, equal parts dedicated to healing, exploration, and evolution. The latter has always been a critical part of my every day because I am very much committed to the idea that in order to be emotionally and spiritually healthy, the only way to do so is to be open to self-reflection and self-recalibration at any turn of new knowledge and experience.
(Actually, of the most miserable individuals I come across are those who are stagnant, refusing to learn from themselves / others in an effort to become a softer version of who they are. The word ‘stagnant’, I chose on purpose. Like water, the healthier cleaner body is the one ever flowing, not the one without the movement of waves. We are 90% water; it only makes sense to pay attention to what this means. Because there really are no coincidences, and for us Muslims, we are guided to find our Faith and understanding in nature; I believe this is one such proof and sign for our hearts.)
The hope was full and overwhelming. Not for any one particular reason, but rather for all of them. Everywhere I am looking, I see possibility and opportunity, and it has taken me some time and a great deal of work to feel this way.
Late last week, I wrote in my journal: This sabbatical was never about moving my life to be with anyone. It was always about getting for myself, that which I thought he might give me.
Did I mention? Heaven.
Today, I am grateful for:
1. Leander. He was my masseur, for a session outside by the water. When here, ask for him by name. He stripped every tense muscle, every knot, every stressor straight out of my body in 60 minutes. I started laughing uncontrollably when he finished and asked me how I was, because I couldn’t make words. Thanks to him, this is how my body, mind entirely of its own, reacted to a question.
2. Shopping in Montreal. As I wrote on Instagram earlier today, I always bring extra luggage space to this city because there is nowhere else in Canada that can match it’s shopping. Today, I am seven dresses richer, with this one as my favourite (again: awful shoes not my own. I would only wear this dress with boots, open-toe one-strap heels, or very thick running shoes) –
Ìle-des-Soeurs | Day 231 | July 19, 2019