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Category Archives: Mindful Relationships

From terrible, to v good poetry

It has been a minute since I wrote you, and for this I am sorry. I have read every single message you sent, and I thank you for your overwhelming…

To girls who play in traffic

When I was 13, I broke my femur running into traffic while a boy led. He was the son of our neighbors at the time, only a year older to…

Let them eat cake

He and I met for coffee at Elgin Street’s Bridgehead. It was a really lovely afternoon of caffeine and conversation, and I had been over the moon to see him….

On Trust

Editorial Note: This was written and published in 2013, but is as relevant today as it has been every day since. It has also been updated quite a bit to…

On Healthy Silence

Two things: (1) I am a Super Communicator and Clarifier. I go above and beyond the call of normal communication to make certain that the person before me is always…

Shoulder check? Check.

Two things, one of which is: Feeling secure. But first. I volunteered to go into Beirut during the summer Israel was bombing the sh*t out of the country; I went…

A Near Perfect Time (would you?)

Rumi wrote: There’s joy in my heart: I have joined my lover tonight; Finally free from the pain of our parting tonight. As I dance with my lover I pray, oh…

When exes message

I recently woke up to an email which read, in part: I fell in love with you the night H introduced us at Oliver’s and you argued with me about…

Anatomy of a Healthy Break-Up

Preamble: I know it’s hard. We all know it can be crushing to recover from any ending, but we have all recovered. Each of us. We have all moved onto…

The State of Pretzel

Primarily, I process via collision course. I dive into an emotion head-first and then use blocks of logic to dismantle it. And by ‘dive’, I in fact mean face-plant. It…

How to avoid the (most common) early dating mistakes

Three foundational notes: (1) Yes. We get that sometimes we all falter and we lose perspective and we are hurt and confused by a wo/man’s behaviour because we like them…

Crushes as Pillows

A couple of months ago a dear girlfriend was talking to me about a weird crush that she had on a man – weird because she knew it would never…

A letter from my heart to your ears

Dear Fella: Everything I thought I loved about you has turned out to be completely and totally false. 2012 & 2013 were interesting years for my romantic life, teaching me…

This is DATING!

The last time I was officially part of a club was grade 8 Dungeons and Dragons club. I was the only girl; none of us were dating anyone, my crush…

Love Stories

For those of you who have lived here long enough, you know that I believe in the Friday Night Lights representation of Eric & Tami Taylor’s marriage. I believe it…

On potential and the ideal man

I believe in the possibility and potential of love, experienced through the unspoken pull of bodies toward one another, shock-waves physically lit up making us incapable of maintaining eye-contact for…

Laughter is the world’s top WMD

This baby has either just spied a nipp!e (this same expression he will carry with him for the rest of his life), or is laughing. Either way, he is edible…

Moving to be with your partner; how far would you go, ho?

A former colleague recently spent some time in my office telling me about her new piece. I shall call this friend ‘Green’. Piece resides in Texas, and so Green’s first (because…

The Love Fetish

“Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absentminded. Someone sober will worry about things going badly. Let the lover be.” -Rumi Last week, I was chatting with a friend about the…

Love on Venice Blvd

After an incredible couple of hours of faith and music filled conversation over lunch at Urth Caffe, I had to make my way home and so chose to walk along…

Building and Maintaining Trust

Trust between partners — aside from top-notch sexuals, humour, and respect — is a fundamental pillar in any solid relationship. It is among the few things which, once broken, renders…

Don’t write checks your body can’t / won’t / never ever had the intention of cashing

Two caveats: I very much believe in ‘He’s just not that into you’. For all intents and purposes, almost all of the men of topic below, they have displayed extreme…

Maha Mondays: More iron than velvet, this week

For Chai Latte Diaries and Elle Beaver advice columns – please be advised that I have neither admin nor edit rights to either their FB pages or their websites. Additionally,…

Maha Mondays: Your Piece’s Bully of a BFF & The Fella Who Wants to Commit (but is stuck in a tree of his own making)

Elle Beaver’s reader is challenged by a dismissive limp-dick boyfriend and his BFF: “…those whose uplifting is sourced from their active debasement of others are the most miserable and insecure…

‘Maha Mondays’: Wedding jitters & friendly texting?

The two new advice columns are live (and every Monday, I will link to them from here). Elle Beaver: I’m getting married and I’m all jittery. What’s up with me?…

Know-It-All: How can I be happier, considering my history?

Dear Maha, I am not clinically depressed or unhappy, its just that I feel like my “normal” happy baseline is lower than others. I don’t feel joy or excitement the…

Imagine if we were swans?

Editorial Note: Originally published on 2012/04/06. ——————– We’d croak when our partner died. No fun. Two days ago, I was discussing soul mates with my friend. Whether we believed there…


December’s (not so gentle) lessons

December has proven an interesting and challenging month. From it, I am blessed to carry into the new year three life lessons. First. Trust only my gut instinct. Nothing, absolutely…

Wedding RINGS have dislodged me

Editorial Note #1:This article was originally published 11/11/02. I am currently on holiday and unless titled Dispatches, then what you are reading was scheduled for publication in advance of my…

Allah does not discriminate (a.k.a. “On Bein’ Single”)

Editorial Note: Originally published on 2012/11/19. ——————– “Since masculinity is defined through separation while femininity is defined through attachment, male gender identity is threatened by intimacy while female gender identity…

Taylor Kitsch may sink my battleship, but…

Editorial Note: Originally published on 2012/02/17. ——————– Colin receives all of the accolades. Last week, I was on course for work. When introducing ourselves, we were asked to name our…

Egos & Immediate Self-Gratification

Like. Like. Like. How many Likes? Let me quantify myself by your Likes. My ego hates Freud Over coffee with Trouble (welcome home, Mr G), my friend and I conversed…

Gentlewoman’s Rules (aka How Not to be a Cad – Female Styles)

.2.   Trust him. Unless he’s treated you in untrustworthy fashion, trust him. .3.   If you don’t like something, then tell him. Don’t expect him to figure it out on his…

31 Ways on How Not To Be A Cad (for David F.)

.1. Respect her. (Respect yourself.) .2. Don’t just text her. Start calling instead. Conversation is a lost art form; revive it. (Text only when others are around and you want…

Know-It-All: Liar, liar, pants on fire

“Dear Maha, Thank you for your amazing site. My friends have been reading you for years and then we talk about your articles afterwards. I was in a really shitty…