Calgary

It was my first time out West and I loved it. Surprisingly, Calgary is a lovely and calming place (notwithstanding their crazy Conservative politix).

Most of my trip was spent with R, who is the sister of my uncle's wife. R was married nearly ten years back and due to a move to Kazakhstan and the birthing of four children, we rarely maintained touch. But, seeing her after nearly twelve years proved that real friendship does in fact span time, no matter the clock's ticking.



Her children are joys to be around; the youngest one being Jennah who reminds me of Maggie Simpson as she is constantly with a bottle in her mouth.

Here are The Babies:





And here is Jennah (also, with bottle):







R's husband was so nice and so warm and so welcoming that I couldn't ask for more. They make a lovely couple, see:



I gifted Jennah the world's greatest gold lame crack that she wore from the moment she awoke to the moment she slept. More importantly, I gifted the household a new garden!! I am both proud of and excited by this choice. Now, inshallah no one will forget to water the plants and they will live a long and healthy life, reminding R and Co. of I each summer when they bloom.

Due to certain circumstance, there were some very difficult moments that remain beyond my comprehension. What I can say about that is that it's reinforced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that any decision making process shared between partners must stem from the same value system. (Otherwise, you're completely f*cked.)

Almuhim. I have some highlights to share, as follows...

.1. GEESE!!



.2. This is the Calgary Tower:



...of which the top left hand corner is made of super duper strong plexi-glass or something like it (this, I hear, is the scientific term):



When you reach the top of The Tower, you can walk out on to this plexi glass thing and see ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE STREET! (This excites me.) Equally as important, if you stand beneath the plexi thing all the way down on the street and you have a very strong camera, you will see up the skirts of good people such as I. There is no getting around this, as I discovered.

Right. So I am by no stretch of the imagination a trepidatious person, or someone who doesn't appreciate risk taking. I do it all the time and am prone to diving head first because I am of the opinion that time is precious and one should spend it doing and being with the things that make them happy and sunshine-y. So...it was with great surprise that I couldn't make myself take an actual step on to the plexi platform while looking ALL THE WAY DOWN at the concrete. Instead, I had to stare straight ahead, walk to the side and then look down. It was totally trippy. I loved it.







...the best two pictures involve Aaminah.

The first is of her completely and totally floating in air:



while the second is of her standing next to spider man:



R had been there before but she had never been able to make it out on to the plexi platform. I coached her and she made it. Also, I coached some random woman who was absolutely mortified but managed to do it - she told me I had a fantastic way about me and trustworthy. (That's how you represent Islam, Kitties...) That interaction was as trippy and as fulfilling as the plexi platform, but that's just me.

Look! Muslims!
>> They're just like You! <<
They sit on plexi platforms!



Also, while at The Calgary Tower, I signed something (I don't know what)



Got busy



& discovered that when My People aren't terrorizing Your People, We can be found seducing You into submission



.3. We played in Banff













.4. I wrote at the feet of Lake Louise













.5. I went to visit Na.oh.mi in Edmonton and realized that there's few people with whom we can share so much of ourselves so easily. Na.oh.mi is one such friend. She and Jason are soon moving to Calgary and so this little home of theirs will be no more.







Edmonton took Na.oh.mi and I on a wild goose chase for a Dairy Queen (skor blizzard, please), a trip to Rona, lunch at Da*de*oo's, deep conversations about de-weeding one's garden, three episodes of Arrested Development and the world's yummiest miso salad dressing.

And finally...

.6. I made a new friend, who:
- introduced me to RAW BEEF (a.k.a. Beef Tenderloin Tartar) that I find myself craving right now
- told me how gasoline lamps function (I used to think it was by magic alone!)
- let me drive their Lexus GS350, a car that starts WITH A BUTTON! You push a BUTTON! (My New Friend likes toys and so also has a Porsche 911 S convertible. Lucky for them that I can't drive stick, or else I would have been all over the Porsche...)
- met Bambi with me
and
- showed me that Calgary was in fact secretly Tuscany

All in all, the trip was as close to perfect as I would have liked it...

Final Notes on NYC

.1. Because when I think of Unions, it seems a propos that NYC come to mind.



.2. Stare at one spot on the tracks; as soon as there's movement in the periphery, your eye picks it up and there's your rat. (That's the trick.)



.3. More breakfast! (Fresh yogurt & fruits, a croissant and a fruit plate. It was a little much, but who am I not to take one for the team?)

As you can see, I had my agenda / diary so as to jot down my random observations and Shoosh's laptop (because I left Baby Mac at home); I was trying to write out my notes re a review of War, Inc. and instead drowned in the latte.



.4. BALL GAME!! (This is the stadium which is to be torn down so that it may be replaced with a shinier version.)

Yankees played the Red Wings.



.5. We dropped by The Coffee House for a thick and gooey breakfast, where I quite possibly took the best photo of Sharshoor, ever.



Three things to note re The Coffee House. Shoosh nearly took out the hostess because she was so busy texting on her BlackBerry that she ignored us for a little too long. Without warning, Shoosh turned to me and said: "Shoo hay 7aywaneh?" which literally translates to "What is she, an animal?", but actually means "What? Is she an idiot?"

Shoosh is full of fire and energy and so her tone was easy enough to read; Hostess put down her BlackBerry (because your a$$ is so important that you need to text immediately? (To which the natural response is, of course, because our a$$es are more important and we need to be sat down asap. I see my own indulgence here...)) and sat us down without any more texting.

It was the day the Netherlands lost to Russia and the two loudest, drunkest and most obnoxious men in the joint took a liking to us. They were a little on the wanker side and wearing what can only be described as attire meant to birth Rock 'n Roll imagery. I don't mind a man who drinks once in a while, but he'd better know how to hold his liquor. These guys didn't have a clue and at one point, one of them came over to our table and grabbed my sunglasses before I quietly and quickity split took them out of his hand and didn't respond to any of his questions so as to not give him any ideas or allusion that I was interested.

Much more endearing than the drunken slobs were a couple seated across from us. They couldn't take their hands off one another and it was absolutely adorable. It worked, I think, because they both had the same colouring and they were young and cute and so into one another they didn't take notice of anyone else in the joint. There was a playfulness in the way they interacted and a comfort that engaged anyone who looked at them. (I'm all for public displays of affection when you're not obscene and recognise it doesn't suit everyone. It's like The Dress That Borders Sl*t (TDTBS); some women can wear TDTBS and own it like no one's business because they have an inherent class in the manner they carry themselves. Others wear TDTBS and look like prostitutes. Same goes for PDA.)

.6. I call this Shoosh's Glamour Shot and Adeebo's Crazy Eyes Shot. Love it; it's now hanging in my office.



.7. Night out at some club on Park Avenue because most of the boys in the circle are bankers. (LOOK! I have on eye make-up!!)



Best part of the evening was when one of the guys decided to tell me that what he did for a living was: "Build companies."

I lost my sh*t and laughed so hard he couldn't help but laugh with me.

"Build companies"?
My response was: "That's like telling me you occupy countries. That says nothing to me except about the size of your ego, guy."
Lucky for me I can deliver a joke and he can take it.
And I never deal where I refuse to play, so the rest of the interaction was light and fun.

.7. Met brother blogger HijabMan for a wonderful breakfast at the unGodly hour of 8.30 am on Sunday (my fault, this!) and was seated on the steps of St. Xavier church when I paparazzo'd (or is it: paparazzi'd, Espy?) him walking toward my NYC home...



He was handing out Sunshine to any one who would take it. Apparently, he had a hard time getting people to accept the Sunshine...but then I came along. And we all know I'm a HoneyPot. And that means I have enough charm to force you to receive the Sunshine. Three more lucky folks accepted the gorgeous flowers.

Before heading to breakfast, we went into St. Xavier to chill with Jesus.



...and this may very well be one of my favourite pics from the whole trip



(Note worthy: No implosion this time, either.)

(More note worthy: HijabMan's take on our morning basking in Sunshine.)

.8. Breakfast with more Sunshine.



.9. While en route to the Karim Rachid store, I saw this beautiful statue of the map of Palestine and stepped two feet in to ask "how much?" Only then I noticed that there were Hasidic Jewish folk praying in the back room of this Gallery. I've never been so frazzled and caught off guard; not even at an Israeli check point where you expect to be treated like shit because you're a Palestinian...probably because at the check point you're braced and expecting it.

I turned around and immediately left as I'm certain I wouldn't have been very welcome (had I enquired about purchasing even a map of what I consider Home).



...and finally... .10. Who doesn't love finding a Heart on the Street?



This trip to NYC has been among the best.
I feel in love with Shoosh all over again, and I love that I love Adeebo. It's always so hard if you don't click with your girls' men, but Adeeb is an amazing guy and their relationship is a treasure, Alhamdulilah.

(Aside: I forgot my favourite jeans at their place. I am still shocked every time I realize this; these jeans are like a second skin. They're perfect and I've had them for nearly three years. They're worn and torn and they've seen half the world with me...and currently, they are en route to Shoosh's mom's and I am awaiting the moment that I will greet and embrace them once again.)

Find the complete series of photos here.

Coming Soon: More NYC & Calgary pics and random notes

Kitties!

I have been delinquent in my blogging as I have just returned home from Calgary (on a flight so filled with turbulence I almost threw up all over the crazy guy next to me taking pictures of his feet). Forgive?

Soon: Pics and stories coming from both NYC and Calgary. You will laugh, you will cry, you will wonder how I am of flesh and blood rather than crayon and paper.

Until then, do ogle this one of my favourite shots EVER, taken by my gorgeous and beautiful Sharshoor in NYC. The man here is Adeebo, her husband and for some strange reason, as soon as Sharshoor said "Smile", we both managed to do something utterly idiotic. Wicked fun...because only a fool wouldn't feel the sunshine when looking at this picture...

NYC this day (10 things to note, +1)

Please Note: I am typing directly into blogger. The following is likely filled with grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Please forgive...I am exhausted. xo

.1. Breakfast was a cob salad without the bacon. I drowned myself in Le Pain Quotidienne's lattes because they were so good.



.2. I purchased a book here.



.3. Noticed that LG's new advertisement campaign for Scarlett TVs has a grammatical error in it; their tag is "...bla...bla...Scarlett TV's". Morons.

.4. NYC men are pretty awesome. Two conversations of note:

(a) I was crossing the street when a relatively attractive dude nearly fell into me while roller blading.
"I almost fell in the right direction there..."
"hee hee."
"ha ha."
(silence and he rolls away, then turns around and rolls back toward me)
"Can I invite you to my art show?"
"Sure...but I'm only here until Sunday..."
"Where are you from?"
"Canada."
"Well then why don't I give you all of my info - maybe this'll be the romance that spans somethingOrOtherIDidn'tReallyHear..."
"tee hee."
"SomethingElseSaidThatICan'tRemember."
"I'll definitely pop by and see your work."
"The gallery it's at is great, too."
"Well then I'll make certain to go..."
...and I plan on doing just that tomorrow, Inshallah. Find Patrick Collins' art here, please.

Update to add: I went to the gallery and checked out his work. Cool stuff.

Aside: I will never ever see Patrick again and that was a quickity split conversation on the side of the street but still: how can you not love that Alpha in some men? The men who just go for it? The men who see something and just: GO. For. IT. Love it when a man does that.

Determination and strength are sexy. A man who knows what he wants is a fox. (I'm not saying this is Patrick, I'm just talking in general random terms here, folks...)

(b) Some well dressed but much too old dude stopped me as I was about to cross the street and head into Karim Rachid's shop (dude's a fellow Carleton grad, so I am obligated to support him).
"You are Italiano."
"No."
"You are not Italiano?"
"No."
"Yesssss. You must be Italiano - you are much too beautiful not to be Itali-."
"I'm Palestinian."
"Palestinian? What is? Hmmmm. Where is Pales-."
"I'm a Middle Easterner."
"Palestinian? You model?"
"No."
"You should model. Palestinian?"
"MIDDLE. EAST."
"You are EGYPTIAN?"
"NO!"
"Me? I design special clothing for Scoop. You know Scoop?"
"Yes. I have to go. I'm late."
"I want you to model for me."
"I use my brain to make my money...but thank you, anyway. BYE!"
"We use our brain too in my industry. We are full of smart people! Ha ha! You are too beautiful to use your brain, anyway."
"Smart? Like you? Like you who doesn't know PALESTINE, you creepy f*cknut? I don't know if I'd call that smart. Tee hee heeeee."
And I bolted across the street but not before he'd handed me his business card. Weird and random.

.5. I saw War, Inc.

(You will laugh. You will be sick. You will be sad. Most importantly, you will be enraged.)

War, Inc is about life for sale. It is about the branding of Government, military, religion, relationships and the pornification of the 'female'. Every single thing is up for sale. I'm not going to say any more about this film except that you need to get your asses in motion and get to a theater as soon as possible. Support this film in any and all ways you can. (Before the film started, I was standing outside and taking photos - three people approached me and asked me why. I fished; They came into the film with me.) I'll be writing a piece on it and so I won't give you anything more. You'll have to wait until the article is complete and published at Rabble to read it.



P.S. Joan Cusack is a fk'n RockStar of gigantic proportion. I want to take that woman out for a drink and tell her all of my tales.
P.S. Marisa Tomei is a beauty as she has a face untouched by botox.

.6. I gave this man all of the cash I had.



.7. I ate a pretzel.



.8. We hung out at Bryant Park with the assumption that there was going to be Opera In The Park. I was completely stoked to sing along...until we found out that we were in the wrong park.

Instead, we took stupid pictures.











.9. We splashed past Rockefeller Plaza.









.10. Ate dinner at La Lanterna in George Washington Square.





.10+1. And finally ran home through the pouring rain. We were soaked and satiated.

The Secret Lives of Churches: Muslims Gone Wild

Proof that a Muslimah can be inside of a Church without catching Hell fire.



Someone tell McBush, STAT.

All pictures from our Middle East trip in December past...

Finally! Find all thirteen sets here...

Comments here are closed.

I'm Out of Touch

Hi all - okay...

(1) For those of you new to me, please understand that the mobile is perhaps the bane of my existence. I rarely have it on and check my voicemail perhaps once every two weeks. Last year, and for reasons beyond my control, I had to make myself accessible as best as possible.

Now that I no longer have to do that, it also means that my response time has slowed.

Please don't feel ignored...it's not you, it is most definitely me...

(2) I've not been blogging much because I've had a super crazy schedule and I am planning a super busy summer. Trips to NYC, Vermont, Toronto, Montreal, Washington, (perhaps) Thailand, definitely the Azores, all forthcoming.

Now that curling is over, I am back to boxing once a week. In five weeks' time, boxing will be upped to twice a week. (Please note: this is not faerie boxing, nor is it kick nor muay. It. Is. Boxing. And it beats the shit out of your body.)

I try to have dinner with only one friend a week, but that's turning a little impossible, so now it's two a week.

C and I will be training to run a 5k in mid-June. This is a first for both of us and so terribly exciting and awkward and hilarious.

I will be taking my first sailing classes in July / August.

I will also be taking care of a very specific region in mama's garden. (More on this in the future months as it is a very big deal for me.)

I am maybe going to try rowing, depending on whether the schedule fits my own. Neither for competition nor dragon boating, but simply rowing. I hear it's excellent for your arms and shoulders...and those are two key muscle groups for girls.

So all this to say that I am currently a little busy. Not to mention that I still have books to read.

If I am out of touch, please know that I'm not ignoring you; it's only that I'm living a perhaps-to-you-but-not-to-me hectic schedule. There are only 27 hours in my day and I enjoy making the most of them. "Idle" = "lazy" and though that's an excellent way to pass maybe two days a month, it is no way to live a life. (At least not mine.)

(3) Please visit following album sets to see what's been happening.

As promised previously, photos of Sophia and I have been uploaded (simply click on the picture):


Aalya / Sophia's baby shower photos linked here:


Muslims, They're Just Like You! They Shovel Snow! (Click the picture to see what has buried Ottawa this past winter, and also to check out my stellar shoveling outfit that consists of pyjamas, mama's panda bear coat, her boots and her headband.)


More to come (including the images from my trip to the Middle East this past December).
xox to each...

Babies are collapsible as well as spring-loaded

Please say hello to my niece Sophia:



Whose papa called me a few hours after the above photo was taken on March 8th, 2008, to leave me the following message:

"hi maha it's dietrich and i just wanted to let you know that our baby sophia was born early this morning at about twenty to one a.m. and she's a beautiful baby girl and she's very happy and she has dark curly hair and long eyelashes and her mother's nose - lucky her. And she's just wonderful and she was 7 pounds and 13 oz and her and Aalya are doing just fine they are sleeping here in front of me right now and they're both just so beautiful (voice cracks) and we wanted to let you know and we can't wait to see you as soon as we get home. Bye bye."

I started crying.

After a C-Section / See-Section / Sea-Section (because, really, all of them could arguably apply), mama was satiated and calmed and bonding with baby Sophia:



As was papa:



These next two photos break my heart because while I was carrying her, this is how she looked



and she was collapsible as is apparent in this photo



Funny this, that she is spring-loaded. When you tap Sophia's little round belly her arms flip out and up, much like The dude crucified in the image of Jesus. I couldn't stop myself poking and watching the spring load.

I am in love with Sophia and I think it'll be so much fun to grow one of my own, inshallah. (Pics of her and I forethcoming.)

Gone Green: My New Friends

Unlike mama, I've never been one for foliage. I've tried having plants in the past, but like my goldfish, I've killed them all.

Last year, I took an interest in a situation that had an interest in plants and gardens, which led me to a thorough enjoyment of Green and all of the chemistry involved within. It also made me ask some questions about Islam and nature / environment and I was quite satiated to find that there are over 700 verses in the Quran that discuss the environment, our link to it, and our duty to protect it. Furthermore, there are many hadiths that discuss Muhammad's (pbuh) many references to nature, my favourite being: "Whoever plants a tree and looks after it with care, until it matures and becomes productive, will be rewarded in the Hereafter" because I need all the help I can get in my effort to make it to Heaven and so if there's anything I can do to give me a better grade, I'm all over it. (I'm so excited to share with you my recent discovery that I'm almost hyperventilating; Please click here.)

Since arriving in my new place of work, I've been looking at my office space and noticing that it's missing Green.

I made My New Friends over three weeks ago and I'm still scared because I don't want to kill Them. Luckily, it appears that it's only Penelope who seems to be going to sleep - quite likely never to wake up again. In my defence, I believe I was over-reaching when I decided to purchase a phalaenopsis amabilis. (Two words that I can't pronounce but provide me the aura of a Hogwarts student and who doesn't want that?)

I have looked up and studied care instructions because not only do I not want to kill My New Friends, but I don't want to hurt Them, either.

A couple of tricks I've learned from television, such as: chatting with My New Friends in the mornings. I come in relatively early and so there's no one around to hear me as I tell My New Friends about my evenings. I even purchased a spritzer / schwooscher that mists out water, because that's what They enjoy. Isn't that great? The woman who introduced me to Them for an arm and a leg said "mist their leaves. The leaves like that". After paying very close attention to the sounds made by the leaves, I can now confirm that They are a composite of really small beings that laugh and giggle when it mists all over them exactly the opposite of me, because mist makes my hair fizzy. In case you're wondering, I mist Them each morning as we have our chat.

Please wave to:

Penelope, my Orchid (Phalaenopsis amabilis)


Hussy, my Calla Lily (Zantedeschia aethiopica)


Kuan-Yin, my Chinese Evergreen (Aglaonema pseudobracteatum)


If you stand next to the sunshine, they'll wave back at you (except perhaps Kuan-Yin who prefers his quiet and usually in the dark 'alone' time).

Baby (in Theatres mid March)

Please meet Sophia (we call this The Creepy Ultrasound picture):


currently residing in mama Aalya:


who is set to pop within the next week and who just said: "Maha, I look & feel like a dung beetle. I want this little diva out of me - she's a week late. Always late, like her mother. I have no doubt she is going to be born kicking and screaming and feisty and opinionated just like her mother and all of the wonderful women she knows."

4th Annual Girls' Holiday Dinner (part 2 of 2)

Hurrah! The Annual Girls' Holiday Dinner was an unabashed success (even though the stuffed chicken was much too salty, even for my taste...).

The Reason(s)
The main reason I began having these Annual Dinners was because The Girls were convening - with great difficulty - perhaps once every six months, and I thought it was time we had a standing yearly event to which we all looked forward. That is precisely what The Annual Girls' Holiday Dinner has become, a reputation that is well earned because it really is an 'event', and not merely a dinner party. The second and much more important reason I do this is because I like presents! And The Girls come bearing gifts...

To the bouquet of flowers where red and white lilies were present, Di added yellow ones


Tasha gifted me the gorgeous gold earrings I'm wearing; Laura brought a box of specialty tisane teas, and Cleo brought a candy-cane candle & 8 different scented body creams. (I enquired if she thought I was stinky. She laughed and walked away without answering, but not before she told me to watch myself as I walked past the stairs "because [I] could fall and really hurt myself".)

The Attendees
Di & Cleo


Laura & Tasha


(Di was the designated photographer and within moments, the ladies had been lined up both against the wall, and by the sofa so that their portraits be taken. It was really quite fantastic as the shutter bounced up and down, Tasha and Laura did a little tango, while Cleo and Di opted for a more discreet revival of The Outsiders video box, minus one Tom Cruise.)

And I, your BlogMistress


(Di was attempting to capture the length of the dress and I was yelling back responses to Cleo as she rummaged through my closet and queried "Why haven't I EVER seen you in THIS dress? And what's BEDO? And are all of these CDs yours? And if your mom ever wants to give away the dress you're wearing and you don't want it, will you give it to me? And don't fall down the stairs, you could really hurt yourself!")

Although mama was not present in body (she's in Dubai until this coming Friday), she was present in soul as the dress I wore was in fact once hers. I believe she purchased it in her early 20s and wore it much lovelier than I could ever dream to wear it.

The Drink
Over the course of the six hour meal, we consumed two bottles of IKEA's Sparkling Apple Drink and two bottles of IKEA's Sparkling Pomegranate Drink that are wrapped up as though they are champagne. These drinks are fun because by glass no 4, we were all hit by an incredible sugar rush that left us hysterical and prone to confessions. (To add a slight more ambiance to the drink, I placed strawberries in each glass.)


As though these four bottles weren't enough, I brought to the table at least three gallons of water and rose oil. By the end of the evening, The Girls = Race Horses.

The Meal
The seven courses were presented once an hour on the half hour, as follows...

6.30pm
Asiago Cheese Puffs
Stuffed Baby Potatoes with Shrimp






6.30pm for Dianna, a vegan
Bruschetta & Babaghanoush


7.30pm
Curried Sweet Pepper soup (served with a dollop of sour cream, a dash of sweet paprika & a blackberry)


8.30pm
Arugula, Pear & Asiago Cheese salad (served with roasted walnuts and breadsticks)


9.30pm
Angel Hair Pasta Nests with Shrimp, in Heavy Cream (fresh basil served as the garnish)


10.30pm
Stuffed (with Borsin Cheese & spinach) Chicken Breast


10.30pm for Dianna
Yellow Pepper stuffed with cous-cous, garlic, cashews & dates


11.30pm
Lemon Sorbet...which, sadly, went unphotographed...

12.30am
Vanilla Pound Cake with Vanilla Bean ice-cream, fresh berries & fresh mint


Pretty spectacular, indeed. So spectacular that I was allowed to wear Laura's tiara and crowned by myself and only in my own head: Culinary Goddess. (Look how large and cow-like my eyes are.)


The Soundtrack
Apart from the incredible company and food, we were joined by the very sexy Tom Jones, Platinum Blonde (Yes! We know they are of The Gay variety, but we love them still in 'that' way...), Bono, Terence Trent D'Arby & the boys from Chicago. As only the best Holiday Dinners know, The Eurythmics, The Spice Girls and Justin Timberlake completed our evening's soundtrack.

The Final Confession
Naturally, there were no lulls in the evening's conversation. In fact, this year's theme seemed to be that of The Confession, with the Weirdest Topic Award going to: Gas (not of the petrol variety).

If I were to sum the evening up into one line, I could...and I will...

We promised we would never discuss who said this, and so you must excuse my adherence to this code...

As one of us was staring down at her dessert plate, she quietly and very seriously announced: "I don't know if I'm seeing things, but I'm pretty sure my cherry just vibrated."

And that line, my friends, is the line that best wraps up the 2007 Annual Girls' Holiday Dinner. I do hope you had as much fun ogling the photos as we did devouring the food. Feel free to stalk the entire rest of the photos here.

4th Annual Girls' Holiday Dinner (part 1 of 2)

In a little over two hours, some of (the others missing in the USA) The Girls are coming over for my Annual Holiday Dinner. Technically, this evening is for 2007, as I didn't have the chance to celebrate the presence of their friendship within the confines of that calendar year.

The table is set with six candles, sparkling pomegranate & apple " faux champagne", and oriental white & red lilies (my favorite):









The seven-course menu is:

Asiago Cheese Puff appetizer & Stuffed Red Potato Shrimp appetizer (look: here is 'The Making Of' of the latter caught on camera)






Curried Sweet Potato Soup (with a dollop of sour cream and a dash of paprika)
Arugula, Pear & Asiago Cheese Salad
Angel Hair Pasta & Shrimp Nests
Stuffed (with Boursin cheese & spinach) Chicken Breasts (but first & critical, is that the chicken is marinated in brine over-night, as this photo explains)


Lemon Sorbet
Vanilla Pound Cake (with ice cream and fresh berries)

The dress-code: Evening wear. I've chosen to wear mama's 1960s hippie-chick floor-length gauze stunner:



I'm currently pulling together the song playlist and I have to make pretty relatively soon; my home smells like vanilla and sugar and I'm quite certain things couldn't be any better than right at this very moment...

Yaznotjaz Hauls It to Ottawa

You all know her as the crazy wonderful woman who lives here and peppers our conversations with ROCKSTARs and HIGHFIVEs: Yasmine, Yasmina, Yaznotjaz.



(The table in this photo is a mere three inches from the ground, but I'll get to that in a moment.)

My favourite story of Yaz's is that of the gentleman who told her he liked her "costume" (aka hijab).

In early December, Yaz hauled it to Ottawa for a friend's wedding and I took her to my favourite restaurant where she, for the first time ever, ate Vietnamese. I understand your initial reaction here is "¿Qué?", but that she'd never before had Vietnamese is la verdad, my coco loco amigos that live in the Barrio. (How exciting! I've just used every Spanish word I know. Olé!)

The few things about Yaz that I wish to share are:
(1) When you look at her big brown eyes, you think you're looking into the face of a baby. I considered reaching over and burping her after lunch, but Alhamdulilah, I didn't. (Even though I would have done it gladly.) On several occasions and moments before she would speak, I half expected her to gurgle instead. That's how pure and innocent her eyes are.

(2) You know how she comments and writes "HIGHFIVE"? She actually HIGHFIVEs you in public. It took me a few seconds to figure it out, but I catch on relatively quickly and started HIGHFIVE-ing her as demanded during the course of our time together. This, though most of you know my complete distaste for the HIGHFIVE-ing industry which sucks us dry of other potential exclamation scenarios.

(3) She wrote the Encyclopedia Britannica.

(4) She has a laugh that puts the loudness of mine to shame. It is infectuous and catchy and made me laugh harder and louder. Honestly, I'd not laughed that hard in a long time and so it was with pleasure that I let her virus infect me...

(5) She is an excellent keeper of secrets.

(6) From the bottom of her heart, she says things like: "Dude, that's hell-a not cool. That's just about basic human character and respect. Hell-a. Not. Cool. God'll take care of that shit. HIGHFIVE."

(7) She is a Kung Fu Master.

(8) She is the tiniest creature I have encountered and she wears three socks which she tucks into a size 2 running shoe. Propelled by her petiteness, I was forced to pick her up and attempt hanging her on the Christmas tree. (Recall the height of the table in above photo.)

She fought really hard and won, then told me she thought I was "Hell-a weird. HIGHFIVE."

(9) She is a text message fiend, who writes novels that fly through the mobile airwaves at least 23 hours a day.

(10) I kept wanting to hug her, but contained myself until the very end when we said our goodbyes and hugged twice - once for Anjum, and once for her. I was satiated, but did notice that Ottawa dimmed a wee little bit after that goodbye, as she seems to be followed around this little earth by warm sunshine...

(Safe and Happy New Gregorian Year, folks.)

Happy Holidays!

Because I can't kiss each of you while this far away, I offer instead a little bow-sah from a friendly Middle Eastern Fishie. (You may kiss her back, if it pleases you...)

Happy Holidays from Dubai!

Conversations with little girls

This is Deema, my baby cousin aged 12. Last night, we had the following conversation that very nearly made me pee in my pants...

Deema: Maha, I need to ask you a question.
Maha: Okay, habibti, what is it?
D: It's personal, though?
M: Okay, go ahead - you should know that you can ask me anything you want to - there's nothing that's too personal.
D: Uhm. Okay. So. Uhm. Ahem - ahem.
M: Deema, just ask it.
D: Okay. WHEN DID YOU GET ARMPIT HAIR?
M: What?
D: Oh my GOD. SEE! It's too personal. I KNEW IT! Why are you laughing? Are you laughing at me?
M: NO! Nothing is too personal, and to answer your question, I was thirteen.
D: I'm almost 13! WHY DON'T I HAVE ANY? I WANT ARMPIT HAIR!
M: You'll get it when you get your period.
D: DUDE! Who said anything about my period? I'm talking about armpit hair!
M: Deema. It's all or nothing.
D: That's so gross. I just want my armpit hair.
M: Why do you want armpit hair, tayeb?
D: Because I want to start buying and using deodorant. I REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO BUY IT! I LOVE THE WAY IT SMELLS! AND I LOVE THE WAY YOU HAVE TO APPLY IT! (silence) My period, eh?
M: Yup.
D: Hmph. That seems really unfortunate. (and with full drawl of sarcasm) You know, I don't think it's very appropriate that you're laughing at me.
M: You have the most sarcastic sense of humor, ya Damdooma!
D: If I knew what that word meant: 'sarcastic', I'd offer you a reaction.
M: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
D: When you're done laughing, missy, come and find me in the living room. (muttering to herself) Crazy woman! - that's what happens when you get your period.

I took her 'shopping' for deodorant this morning. (I believe she's already used up half of it.)

Eid Mubarak

I've finished my trip to Oman where I saw for the first time ever wild dolphins. They move in the most beautiful symmetry...and I will post videos soon enough, Inshallah.

A special note on the man in the pictures; he's been keeping me cozy by giving me at least 20 hugs a day (each one of which I've needed almost desperately). My baby cousin Ahmed. He's 7 years old and likes food. Whenever seated on the couch, he comes over and cuddles in close, and before bed, he kisses me goodnight and tells me I'm his favourite girl and would I promise to not tell that to either of his sisters. (We have a secret handshake that consists of feigned spitting and a Point Break wave of the hands and scream. Because it's 'secret', you mustn't tell anyone.)





I find that lately I've been more comfortable around children as their innocence and trust is filling me up with calm that's placing kind, soft and protective hands around and beneath my heart.

On the occasion of this first day of Eid, I hope this coming year is good to each and every one of you and your families. (& May each of your hearts find the innocence of a child should it require it.)

P.S. Any photo showing up as a broken link will be fixed and back to normal as soon as I'm back in Canada.

My 1st Baby Step to Collecting

Caballo
Every evening, I walk past the Jason Duval Sussex Studio, and covet the work of a particular artist by the name of Marcelo Suaznabar.

The ingredients of his work are:
2 cups Pure Fantasy
3/4 cup Sinister
2 tbsp A Hint of Creepy
pinch of A Childhood Nightmare
& with the garnish of a very slow cello

And I've not been able to help but savor each and every single drip and drop's thickness, sweetness and lushness.

I used to stand outside The Studio and stare through the window at this one particular piece because it took my breath away:



I’ve always known that I wanted to invest in art, and as of yesterday, I am officially the owner of Suaznabar’s Caballo, Spanish for ‘horse’. Notice how he's (being an oil painting) lacquered with (a) resin. Once he's framed, I'll post another picture for you...





He's Mine, he's Mine! My very first piece of art work! I can't begin to tell you how excited and happy I am! HE'S MINE! Mine! Mine! Mine! I'm officially an owner of a real and true and precious piece of art that I love love love and about which I will probably have to call the insurance company. Miiiiiiine!

(I know that you're thinking how that last paragraph is a clear indication of my maturity - a maturity that deserves to be invested in a piece of art.)

Aside, but not really: Jason Duval
Whenever I stood outside and stared at the above duck / chicken, I always imagined that Jason Duval was an old man. A really old man – the kind of old man that frowned upon younger girls purchasing art because they thought it was ‘pretty’.

Yesterday evening, I discovered that Jason Duval is in fact a 33 year-old BOY! Check out how he impressed me: We met briefly on Thursday evening, and on Friday afternoon I rang back to discuss MINE! Caballo. Before I told him who I was, he recognized my voice because he said he recognized the energy. So not only is he interesting in terms of his business sense, but he also holds a unique ability to recognize 'energy'. (A big Bravo! to Jason for this 7th sense.)

Actually...Jason’s two younger brothers are equally interesting as they own the gym at the other end of Sussex Drive, atop the Metropolitain Brasserie Restaurant and through which’s windows you can see people bobbing up and down on gym equipment (I usually watch them while seated across the street enjoying a latte and reading a book).

If ever you’re in Ottawa, I strongly encourage you to drop into The Sussex Studio and enjoy the beautiful works and the even better service. You’ll thank me, I promise…

The perfect weekend

...filled with a lot of coffee, many bagels & cream cheese, Indian cuisine, Thai cuisine, seven movies, late night conversations and late day sleep-ins. My friend's new apartment is gorgeous and I am super dooper proud.

My favourite pictures from the weekend are:

Cactus


Barbazoo


Maha, night before, trying to move far away from my friend who was taking a photo that at its original range, would have allowed you to see quite clearly up my nose


Maha, morning after, wearing what has amounted to The World's Most Comfortable Woolen Sweater


Breakfast While Writing


I was barred from internet access all weekend, and I'm grateful for it.
(No. My friend doesn't want pictures of them posted.)

Aside: Even though you've enjoyed the photo stream as of late (thank you for the emails), I haven't had a moment to really sit down and write anything substantial because I've been so busy and I only have 28 hours in my day. I'm flying out of here on Friday for another long weekend, so I'm aiming to post something substantial before then.

(Sumaira: I just got off the phone with Amanda. Your comment was funny.)

'Glam' Shots (aka 'If a Moroccan prostitute & a Russian prostitute had a child)

I chose Moroccan and Russian, because they are the crème de la crème and if I am to emulate any hooker, it would be a combination of the two. My family would be proud.

The following are what Major & Homer call 'Glam' Shots and it scares me they are both aware of this terminology...but I actually sort of dig the pictures as I don't usually go beyond mascara and kohl - and in these pictures, I've actually got a little eyeshadow on (hence the SuperTrash appeal).







Fiery: I am, once again, and to your great sorrow, wearing leggings. Let me tell you, my friend, the leggings with that black/grey mini dress and my red Mary-Jane Crack work as a show-stopper. I plan on living in the outfit until my a** hangs around the back of my knees and my children force them off me.

This picture I'm adding for good measure because of the sheer size of my head. When compared to that of beautiful quaint little Sarah, my over-sized head is comical and Godzilla like. It's huge, just huge, look (I call this shot 'Big Head Maha':



You can stalk our week of photos by visiting The Collection here. (Major took a ton of photos of my Crack - while I was wearing the different ones - and I should have them soon enough. And by 'soon enough' Major Time, I assume in the next 12 months.)

Greetings from my best friend's back yard

Where I am looking at these two precious things:

Nora May


& Trenty (who when I pointed my phone at him gave me this face)


We're about to have dinner & I hope you've all had a good weekend...

Photo Stream from past weeks

The bestest sox (a different kind of Crack) in the whole world


What I looked like on my birthday in 2007


...and what our really nice waiter brought out for us in celebration of said birthday


Thank you, Ms. Klein




Thank you, Mr. Aldo




This is one of my Secret Books...


...where I tuck away my secret gardens






...that hide my angels




...and prettiest girls


...and where you'll also find my Crack designs




On the 19th of this month, we went to a retreat at Meech Lake, where this was my view




...and where at break, I sat and watched it rain from here

One of my favourite pictures (possibly ever)

In a photos thread about a month back, I posted some pictures from Di & Pierre's Day After The Wedding Day. Here's my favourite shot from the wedding day itself; the ease of intimacy captured on film isn't something that's too often palpable as it is here...

The photos thread...

The following are some choice photos from the last few weeks. Enjoy!

This is where I like to breakfast on either Saturdays or Sundays. That's Lulu and next to her on the bench is Anne, who I met the morning I took this photo. We had a pretty interesting conversation about women, the way we're being portrayed and the feel of the 'feminist movement' in 2007. Anne pulled out the recent American Apparel ads, indicating how shocked she was to see them...because they're basically nothing short of porn shots trying to sell cotton clothing.



The sun setting over Gaza. I took this photo the last time I visited, and getting this shot proved to be quite the production as my uncle and I were faced with a wedding procession and so couldn't find a place for me to take it. Luckily, we managed to get out from behind the group and take this photo. That same evening, I took photos of different beautiful shots in Gaza and my uncle was later 'contacted' by the local Gaza whatever-the-hell-they-really-are spy agency requesting he go in and speak to them about the "7urma" (a derogatory term referring to women) who was taking photos of Gaza. Phone calls were made to the higher-ups indicating who I was, who my father and grandfather were and what my intentions had been (the shame of it all,r eally!) and my uncle didn't have to go in. Disgusting.


This was a substance leeking out from a tree I ride past at least four times a week. I finally got off of Lulu and touched the thing - only to discover it felt like a marshmallow that had been left outside over night. I still have no idea what it is and so if any of you can offer a response, that would be great...


The field that Lulu and I hang out at and where I like to read on the weekends. There's a gaggle of trees nearby that play broken telephone with the ocean. I took this shot because I couldn't believe how fast the summer's flown by and what had been vibrantly green the days before was turning this soft shade of yellow...


Aalya had spent a better part of the evening preparing paella for us; one with chicken and one with pork sausage. The evening itself was hilariously filled with discussions and challenges about / to pop-culture, celebrity influence, religious adornments and popular cellists.


These statues are by the NAC in Ottawa. I usually sit beneath them close to the water and watch the local boat tours fill up with tourists. The view isn't all that great, but the people watching is.


At Di & Pierer's wedding, the following are the photos of the table I helped set. I did it all by myself (!) and had a ton of fun letting the newlyweds relax before our ten-hour day began. The ceremony had taken place the evening prior and this was the day of the open-house. Di had been tied up with her wedding, her brother's wedding on the East coast and her brother in law's wedding on the West coast for the two months leading up to this day. Pierre and her were leaving for their honeymoon less that 48 hours later and it was our only time together in much too long. This same night, Di & I managed to steal out of the party for some alone time over a coffee. It was a beautiful day and an even more precious coffee time...




No one was allowed to bring wedding presents and so I purchased for Di's art room this little lamp. Look at how sparkly and glittery it is! (Pierre was most excited about the beading...)


And this is the bride. Beautiful.


At one point during the day, I had to sit in the quiet room and relax without the noise. I'd had a relatively tough night the evening prior and you can see how exhausted I was...but the dress is still pretty.


I don't really know what to tell you about this window, except that I fell in love with it immediately. The frame, the history and the sounds of the trees that filter through it take you out of Ottawa and into someplace...French, it would seem.


A little something I took at a poetry / live music evening in protest of the CSIS Security Certificates


One afternoon, I accidentally ran into this parade and managed a few shots (I think it was Caribanna, pardon my spelling if I got it wrong)




Some glam shots of Lulu