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#31FunnyStati – The Challenge

1/31: I’ve already completed a 6 week everyday hot yoga challenge as well as a photo a day for 365 days and this morning, I was trying to come up…

Maha Mondays: ‘Just do it’, the most painful advice possible

No Elle Beaver this week, and the most painful advice I can give someone about unwanted attention, found over at Chai Latte Diaries: “… then you need to alter how…

Maha Mondays: Avoiding those you’ve bedded & initiating a virtual engagement

Elle Beaver: “Do not text. Texting in such scenarios is for the kindergarten-heads. Call her, tell her you wish to see her to talk about why you have been avoiding…

Maha Mondays: Your Piece’s Bully of a BFF & The Fella Who Wants to Commit (but is stuck in a tree of his own making)

Elle Beaver’s reader is challenged by a dismissive limp-dick boyfriend and his BFF: “…those whose uplifting is sourced from their active debasement of others are the most miserable and insecure…

‘Maha Mondays’: Wedding jitters & friendly texting?

The two new advice columns are live (and every Monday, I will link to them from here). Elle Beaver: I’m getting married and I’m all jittery. What’s up with me?…

‘Maha Mondays’ is live

Find the first column at Elle Beaver, in response to: How Do I Satisfy My Personal and Physical Needs (Quickly)? A snippet: In this same ‘being an adult’ vein, switch up your logic….

Elle Beaver – I am your new favourite Consigliere

Does “Consigliere” have a gender? Either way, I have better hair than Tom Hagen. So, over here on this Elle Beaver intro page you’ll find the details about my new gig. They…

On Intuition: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” -Albert…

Know-It-All: How can I be happier, considering my history?

Dear Maha, I am not clinically depressed or unhappy, its just that I feel like my “normal” happy baseline is lower than others. I don’t feel joy or excitement the…

December’s (not so gentle) lessons

December has proven an interesting and challenging month. From it, I am blessed to carry into the new year three life lessons. First. Trust only my gut instinct. Nothing, absolutely…

Mark, my imaginary friend

Editorial Note #1: This article was originally published in 2011. I am currently on holiday and unless titled Dispatches, then what you are reading was scheduled for publication in advance…

Allah does not discriminate (a.k.a. “On Bein’ Single”)

Editorial Note: Originally published on 2012/11/19. ——————– “Since masculinity is defined through separation while femininity is defined through attachment, male gender identity is threatened by intimacy while female gender identity…

Taylor Kitsch may sink my battleship, but…

Editorial Note: Originally published on 2012/02/17. ——————– Colin receives all of the accolades. Last week, I was on course for work. When introducing ourselves, we were asked to name our…

Know-It-All: I love emotionally unavailable men (but don’t know it)

Dear Know-It-All, I feel as though I am stuck in a rut and can’t get passed it. Every guy I like turns out to have commitment issues or isn’t into…

The New Friend

I will write this in ten years from the date of its publication (14 October 2023). I’ve post-dated it because I wish to protect it. None can read this but…

Egos & Immediate Self-Gratification

Like. Like. Like. How many Likes? Let me quantify myself by your Likes. My ego hates Freud Over coffee with Trouble (welcome home, Mr G), my friend and I conversed…

Gentlewoman’s Rules (aka How Not to be a Cad – Female Styles)

.2.   Trust him. Unless he’s treated you in untrustworthy fashion, trust him. .3.   If you don’t like something, then tell him. Don’t expect him to figure it out on his…

31 Ways on How Not To Be A Cad (for David F.)

.1. Respect her. (Respect yourself.) .2. Don’t just text her. Start calling instead. Conversation is a lost art form; revive it. (Text only when others are around and you want…

Know-It-All: Liar, liar, pants on fire

“Dear Maha, Thank you for your amazing site. My friends have been reading you for years and then we talk about your articles afterwards. I was in a really shitty…

Lesson #10: Balance is not just for Libras

“Once I have seen your face I shut my eyes to others.” – Rumi David last year told me that I, unlike any other individual she knows, has a sense…

Lesson #6 – #9: Don’t be a weirdo sovereign, and don’t confuse your bona fide with a therapist

Preamble: A has been in a healthy relationship for years. A loving, kind, generous, sexy, healthy relationship with an amazing man; if I am going to take advice from anyone,…

Lessons #2 – #5: To lower our standards or not to lower our standards?

            A little under two years ago, Aalya sent me an email wherein she wrote ‘[…] you are a shiny object put on this earth…

Lesson #1: Don’t stand next to their pile of sh/t unless…

Since a little girl, I have never been capable of looking at a situation and not trying to undo it, in order that I might understand its machinations. Unlike those…

Sea(s) of change

Purging, cleaning house and new beginnings. Ramadan ends in less than 24 hours and it has brought with it – literally – a sea of change. I’m looking forward to a little bit of an ebb now

World views, self-cutting and prayers answered

I asked, “Why have I received only this?” A voice replied, “‘Only this’ will lead you to That. -Rumi Once upon a mid June’s eve, I received an email which…

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” (Jimmy Dean)

No entry and no comments. This is simply a moment which I need to capture here. I will be writing again soon – I am so very very sorry that…

That time I found someone repulsive

“Human emotions are most directly influenced by smells that act directly into the brain. Your scent or pheromone signature determines, to a very great extent, how persons respond to you…

If Toilets Would Speak (to an immigrant)

Editorial Note: The following was originally published on 8 March 2012. In honour of Canada Day, I am re-posting. I was recently in Nova Scotia for work, and had a…

Rest In Peace, Marvin Glass

Today I learnt of the passing of one of my favourite university professors – Marvin Glass. He is the original and most clear image I hold of my first days…

#Boston

“Terrorism is not the weapon of the weak. It is the weapon of the morally bankrupt and mentally depraved. As Muslims, we should join all civilized human beings in condemning…

When a hornette flies into a dove’s nest

Shortly after moving into the neighbourhood, I was walking along Elgin Street and about to turn onto my McLeod Street when I was stopped dead in my tracks. Streaming out…

Muslim families, they’re just like you! *Crazy*

I couldn’t have been older than six or seven years old when this happened in Gaza. It was around Eid festivities and so the family had lamb. Precisely like the…

Allayah (Palestinian tomatoe beef concoction) recipe!

Allayah ingredients 1.5 tbsp olive oil Super finely chopped onion (you should cry; if you don’t, you’re not human) 330 g lean ground beef 1/4 tsp allspice 1/2 tsp allspice…

The Calm Within: Dewey Bozella

If you are unfamiliar with this beautiful man’s story, please take the necessary 11 minutes to watch this and learn from it. Love and light to you each and all…

Respecting one another, bridging the gap

There is a very strange inclination in the human situation; we default to exclusivity. Building bridges, mending gaps, shortening distances between ourselves is not an act most of us perform…