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Know-It-All: “She ripped my heart out of my nose”

Hey Prolific Immigrant, My best friend told me to write this because she reads you. She’s sitting next to me and wants me to start this by saying “she ripped…

“Mistakes are the entrance of discovery”

The following, why? Because as equally as I believe that we all need to be responsible for our bad behaviour, I too believe that almost everyone is deserving of the space…

Sustenance and the highest degrees of purification

Marasmus is a condition by which babies will die if they are not touched. If you feed them, and keep them clean and sheltered, and fill a bank account in…

On Suspicion

This article is being written on October 15, but I am scheduling it for publication post my return from California for two reasons: (1) I have a sense that I…

California, she reminded me

Already mentioned, this trip to California was planned some time back, but turned out, in the present, to be perfectly timed. At home, I have been challenged in the most…

The Secret to Being A Giant In A Woman’s World

Original explanation of ‘Manning-Up’ written in 2006. The expression “Manning-Up”, while sex derogatory, holds a lot of water for a lot of women still. Quite honestly, every single one of…

Secret Loves

I remember being in University and keeping my then boyfriend a Secret Love. I now know that I was doing it because I wasn’t interested in him in the way…

Rejuvinated California…

Greetings from California! I had hoped to engage limited internet activity, but turns out that’s impossible for your WebMistress, and so here I am seated with a cappuccino and my…

Know-It-All: My best friend is in love with me

Dear Maha, I love your Know-It-Alls and I wait for them with baited breaht. I am in a dilemma and don’t know what to do. I am so confused and…

The Free Fall…seconded

A reminder of how it should be, when it can be. A reminder that when it isn’t, because it can’t be, then it should still always remain the love story…

Full moons, mascara, and baba

“Jills! I need a big favour on your way in — I am having a makeup emergency!!” was the first of many hysterical text messages I sent to Jills this…

Renewable resources or something like it

depletion noun [mass noun] reduction in the number or quantity of something. First, let me start with what happens to me physically. Yesterday, I started feeling that the left side…

Tales from the Toilette

There has been a theme to my recent Facebook Status Updates, as follows: Here’s a conversation I don’t want to have in the washroom ever again: “Hi! Sorry to bother…

Mamaisms

My mum and I were recently in a shopping mall when I noticed that some women do very strange things to the heads of their infants, like taking the only…

Every Girl Should Have One

Arabic Your movement, as your language; Hushed like curtains back-drawn and passed through Whispered into antechambers that you’ve dressed before the dawn with offerings and incense or the tap of…

Dunya is the Arabic word for This World

This is the first photo taken when in 2008 we landed in Tunisia for Nizar and Sissina’s wedding. It is with my aunt, over the moon was she that her…

Vivid Dreamer Oracle

“Oracle” is what another calls me, while Blue calls me “Vivid Dreamer.” Let me start with the women in my mum’s family; we dream. I learnt very quickly to keep…

Know-It-All: My new piece’s past

Dear Maha, (Name withheld) I have been dating for a few months now. I thought he was perfect until last week when he told me a few things about his…

Blind Dates and Face-Kinis

Have any of you heard of this? Imagine wearing one of these to a blind date? Because it’s not weird enough to wear it at the beach, let’s take it a…

Two Palestinians and a whiteboard

Of this image, you may replace Santa with my dad, and the baby with myself, our emotional states static when it was time for me to receive math lessons from…

Know-It-All: My fiance and I don’t agree on how to treat our parents

Hi Maha, […] My fiance and I are hitting a serious roadblock. His mother is in an old age home even though she lives in the same city as us. It didn’t…

Dear ‘Z’ — IP address 64.229.5.173

Hi Mississauga, IP address 64.229.5.173 Please note that your comment has been flagged and sent to your Bell Internet Provider, and also to InMotionHosting. Your dumb ignorant abusive and hateful ass…

Tahini + Basil salad

I recently realized that I hadn’t done this in a long time, so here’s a simple recipe to start for those of you who like fresh and healthy eats. This…

Immigrants + fatsos

Of late, I have been quite heavily and v happily wrapped in citizenship issues and questions. I understand this struggle of immigration on a personal level and also the depth…

Nerd Childhood Memories

.1. The very first time I carried a UNICEF box, I was mesmerized by it. Proportionally, I was about the same size as the box itself, only it was —…

On the pornification of our girls

I just had the misfortune of seeing some photos posted on the Facebook…which brought this article from last year to mind, On the Pornification of our girls. Horrible too were…

Let’s get physical, in ‘the China Town’

But first, let’s look at this photo of your blogMistress circa 1981. I was a bad-ass, always matching my head-bands to my shirts, to my shoes. My glasses spoke for…

Crazy has a season

And that season is summer. I have been completely lethargic and uninspired lately; short-tempered and arguably maybe a slight-bit-but-just-a-little-less rational than usual. Me, I thought it was because I can…

Girl In A Storm

I have already mentioned to you my Nutmeg Days, but have not sat down to write about the days which leave me feeling like the woman in this photo, without…

My Sorry Ass: A 6 month challenge

Did you ever think you would come here and find a photo of my ass? (I imagine someone in my Tribe is frantically trying to issue a Fatwa against me….

The Fair-Weather Altruist

Because we tend toward a relatively self-involved perspective wrote the girl with a blog about herself, we all too often read that people come into our lives, and inflict pain…

Know-It-All: Social media might kill our relationship

Dear MAMA, I am a reader of H50Sardonic thank you for all of the laughs!!!!. I haven’t commented there but would wait on the ledge with others until you recapped….

Secrets

I need to tell you, right now This may in fact be a psychosis, not sure yet. If something happens, I really do need to tell you because Sharing Is…

Hartman’s on Bank Street in Ottawa is an asshole

Update July 2013: Please note a few days back, I found the girl and I gave her some peaches. Recently, I noticed that there are now (lovely and kind) homeless…

Balancing on Thor’s Hammer

Many of you have written in about Perspective is (almost) everything, sharing your stories about when you have been incapable of shifting to the left or to the right, backward…

Baby Sings “WRONG”

This morning I was seated next to a baby bundled up and singing Frère Jacques. (The baby, not I.) My trip into work made me revisit the following High Security…