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Searching the engines + landing at Know-It-All

Hia! to the wonderful person who is frantically Googling “is straddling inappropriately flirting in a relationship” and landing on mine. The answer to your Q is a resounding and all…

Ponytails, parks, awkward communication, and The Viking

Since moving into The Cloud Cave, I hear neither the sound of wind through trees nor birds calling to one another, beauty by which I was surrounded both at my…

Know-It-All: Communication between lovers

Dear KIA. I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and I can’t talk to her about anything without her getting angry or thinking I am attacking…

Ya Fattah, Ya Salaam

For a variety of reasons, some rooted within my messy relationship with baba during my teenage years, others rooted in painfully challenging situations with men, I often struggled with trust….

“Talk doesn’t cook rice”

One of the best (Chinese) proverbs ever, perhaps. Yesterday, my girlfriend and I were talking about boys (not to be confused with the male species as defined here). She mentioned…

The Family Day

Have I mentioned that my family is predominantly one of Alpha Males? Today, two of them came over — my baba, and one of his brothers, amo (Arabic for uncle,…

Know-It-All: I am jealous

Hey Maha, Long time reader and really digging you’re [sic] Know It All advice column. Hope you know you have male fans! My girlfriend and I have been dating for…

When art collides with sex ed

My friend came over yesterday to put the final touches on The Cloud Cave. Namely, to hang all 15 of my art pieces and a 7,000 pound mirror which I…

York Uni press likes your girl, it seems

Two months back, I was caught not knowing what to write. Often, my head is so filled with thousands of stories that the only thing I can see with my…

Nutmeg Might Crack That Crazy Girl

Honest to God there are days I feel like I am punching myself in the face. Absolutely stupid morning, which started with my drinking the wrong of two lattes (I…

Christmas trees adrift…

The early years after my parents fell out of love with one another and divorced, I didn’t much act out against my mother. One way I did act out is…

Sexual Chemistry and Marty

I am writing a follow-up to Defining ‘Sexual Chemistry’, and so sending you there to read in advance. GODSPEED. Comments closed. Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit…

Know-It-All: My Boyfriend Cheated

Maha. My new boyfriend told me he cheated on his ex to get out of the relationship and I am having a really hard time trusting him now every time…

Maha Hour in The Cloud Cave

We just finished Earth Hour; did you observe? I did, and it was more like Maha Hour, not really sure what the earth had to do with it. I sank…

Home really is where the heart is

Every little thing is packed, and although it’s only 8.30pm, I am in bed still with this headache. At least it now ebbs and flows, and when it flows it…

On Regret

Short sundresses, broken straps, shit-kickers, unbuttoned shirts over moistened-with-humidity skin, and swamp lands. This is the imagery with which I am left every evening when I listen to the platinum…

Keys to The Cloud Cave

BREAKING! The ants in my pants are no more, and I miss them. I am entirely bagged. I have a tension headache that I can’t fix, since Tuesday. It came…

The Monzer Hammer (where there are no second chances)

Let me tell you about that amazing and heart-warming moment between my baba and I when he, well intentioned, took my crushed heart and hammered it like he was on…

I have ants in my pants

I wouldn’t call myself manic on a normal day, but the last seven days have placed some sort of fire ants in my pants. And by fire ants in my…

Colouring between the lines

Colouring between the lines. It’s never really been my strong suit, emotionally. I am a Libra born under a Scorpio something (moon or sun, I don’t exactly know). Any Reader…

Know-It-All: Evil Step Mothers

Editorial Note: I have witnessed first-hand step-mums who have done their best and tried their hardest and plowed through to the best of their ability and strength…only to be met…

A Woman’s Intuition

I have recently been struggling with something I have never before dealt with. It is a very deep, visceral, and unkind reaction to someone I don’t know. This is a…

Know-It-All: Where have all the men gone?

Mrs. Know it all, I’m a 45 yr old man who’s alarmed at the increasing number of males out there who are just plain lame. I believe men should be men. I…

Know-It-All: Childless dilemma

Maha, I have been married for 4 years and I am 38. My husband thinks that we’re trying to have a baby but he doesn’t know I’m still taking the…

Q: Who’s Your Know-It-All?

A: Apparently, it’s me. (Only I just learned the difference between Whose and Who’s and that there is no Who’se. Please don’t be scared.) Many of you amazing readers actually…

There’s a rumor it’s raining men, so I burnt my umbrellas

For most of my life, I understood the level at which I should expect to be treated by those in my life, and could demand it in return because I…

Consumers Distributing, feminine massage products, and hysterical children

Do you remember the store Consumers Distributing? It was basically a store without a display area, where you walked in, chose what you wanted from a catalog, checked off said…

Taylor Kitsch Still Wears Saxx Panties for Men

I was asked to profile Taylor Kitsch. Sadly, this did not mean that we went for dinner, and I later had the chance to rate his skills. Rather, it meant…

Girls As Women

I am the little one, with head shaped like a potato. The beautiful woman is my patrilineal grandmum Standing by the Mediterranean’s wintered coastline at Gaza, in approximately 1980, my…

“An Encounter With Simone Weil”

“Charity. To love human beings in so far as they are nothing. That is to love them as God does.” “A hurtful act is the transference to others of the…

Happy Valentine’s Day

Hia! Valentine’s Day alone? Yes, please! As a Singleton, I am really excited about other peoples relationships, while I hang out with my mum, and same sex non romantic girlfriend….

You will get yours sooner or later. Trust.

Once upon a time, there was a group of friends. Amidst these individuals was a girl whom we shall call “Maha.” On a sunny Saturday morning, Maha left for a…

A Treatise on Male Hands

These last few days have confirmed I have a fetish for male hands. More specific, and because I have recently been witness to little wee man hands, I realize that:…

A little spent

Hey y’all. A very short message to let you know that I have been run off my feet these last two weeks, both during the day and well into the…

Things to do and see in Sydney, Nova Scotia

We were there for 48 hours and here’s a scrunched itinerary for those of you on a tight schedule. First, don’t go in the winter unless you’re interested in experiencing…

Supporting friends: When is it time to say “no”?

I hold myself to an extreme standard of behaviour, and although I do my best to soften this where others are concerned (because who in the sh/t am I to…

Rules for Living: A Life As Precious Cargo

The most important lesson I took from 2011, and which I have taken from every single year past is that life really and truly is precious cargo. I am not…

“Why are you single?”

Is one of my favourite questions to field. When was the last time this question was put to a man? Think about that for second… Right. That’s what I thought….

Delete

Sometimes, I would really like to say: “I un-friended you because your ego-driven behaviour is so very unfriendly. I un-friended you because 9 out of 10 times, I believe you’re…