Maha Hour in The Cloud Cave

March 31, 2012 - The Funnies - Tagged: , , , , , , , , , - 13 comments

We just finished Earth Hour; did you observe?

I did, and it was more like Maha Hour, not really sure what the earth had to do with it. I sank into a hot bath fully loaded with oils and salts, and I was surrounded by candles when my friends Depeche Mode and Dave Matthews came for a visit with pizza and a drink.

Today is over. My living room and dining room are set. My bedroom is complete, but I have quickly realized that I am some kind of weird clothes horse. I had no idea I owned this many clothing items, and so much lace and sequin like I am some kind of showgirl ever braced to get my ass up onto a Las Vegas platform quickie split. I need to think out the clothes, and may just chuck what I don’t need over my balcony. Pretty sure I am the only wank living on this side of my building, while everyone else waits for the construction to be completed, and the dust to literally settle.

Not this girl!

The only things left are a bookshelf which I will pick up on Monday, and art which requires placing holes in the walls. I get very excited with a hammer in my hands (*wink*) and fear that I will mistakenly take down the wall between myself and my neighbour while trying to hang my trillion pieces of art work. As such, I have set aside this defining task to a tall human person with an excellent eye for the aesthetic; I can’t wait to see the wall go live.

I had a crazy dance party because I was able to crank the shit out of my LAPTOP. Aside from my abundance of clothes, I also realized I don’t have a sound system.

Pause. Look right. Look left.

I don’t get it either.

Anyway, I pressed my little F12 button excitedly and all the way to the end. Then I danced all over The Cloud Cave, because this is how I celebrate. Sunscreem played a very big role in my dance party, as did Culture Beat and Selena Gomez.

The headache’s gone by the way. The moment I dropped off the mother of a U-Haul — which I was driving at 80 miles per hour because I confused the miles with kilometers — I knew it was done. That next up was organizing and I am an organizer gnome, so right in my element.

Sidebar: Before exams, I used to clear out the cork boards of staples, then I would be convinced I failed the exam, get in the 90s, be shocked and start all over again. Carleton had epically clean boards for the years they were sucking money out of my veins.

Oh! So yesterday, my friend Peter — nicknamed Puma — came over to help me put together a few items. I will close this first day at The Cloud Cave with a snippet of our convo:

“Bla bla bla. Change your filter. Bla bla bla. In your furnace.”
“Yes, of course. Once a year!”
“Once every three months.”
“I meant every three months.”
(pause.)
“Peter?”
“Yeah?”
“What. Exactly. Does my furnace do?”

…

“My light sockets aren’t working.”
“Your electrical sockets?”
“These things for my LIGHTS.”
“Your electrical sockets.”
“They’re not working! I need to call an electrician! MONDAY! I have to start a list. The bastards!”
(pause. Peter walks over to something hidden in my wall. Peter does something. My lights go on.)
“Oh my God. You know electricianing?”
“No, Maha. I turned your braker to ‘on’.”
“My what?”
“Your…come here. Come look at this, let me give you a quick lesson…”
“Ugh. I hate lessons.”
“Just come here.”
(pause. I sulked over.)
“Bla bla bla. Breaker. Bla bla bla. Living room. Something bla bla bla. I don’t know what this stands for “SP.”
“It stands for Super Phaaat.”
“No it doesn’t.”
“Does now.”

…

Happy First Day At The Cloud Cave, Peaches, and if you have six minutes, have a dance with me to this groove

xxo

P.S. I am freezing because I don’t know how in the shit to work my air conditioning unit.