The Open Doors

My heart is so full, it might explode.

First, I spent the entire day with my beloved uncle and his family. I have not seen them in years, and only today realized how very much he moves like my seedo (certainly resting in Light is he). But just a little bit faster.

It was so lovely, every second of it. Also, we had the best fish in the history of the fishes. (In the photo is one of my cousins; last I saw him, he was a little kid. He is so handsome and both he and his brother have the greatest smiles.)

Second, I had a long distance video chat with one of the most important people in my life. I love them so much and speaking with them is always such a heart-filler. Such a heart-filler.

Third, is a reflection. We have a saying in Arabic from Ibn Alqaim – ‘God doesn’t close one door, without opening two others, with His mercy.’ I am here to tell you: Yes. Yes, this is quite correct. I think it is always so easy and quick that we become blinded by our own two hands, but in exactly the same way that He speaks to us in different voices (dreams, intuition, gut instinct, etc.), so too is He always helping our SORREY sorrey! asses along. Here’s what I believe –

This door closure happens in two ways: Either by making us close the door ourselves, or by closing doors we cannot see (though I imagine much less this, since we must be accountable for our decisions, both when we are total losers and when we are smartie pantses). The former, it is tailored to our personality. Take me as example. Whereas some people only need a whiff of something, and because I am a glutton for punishment, nothing can be subtle. In order for me to take action and close a door, I need to receive His message like a kick in the head, with literal evidential proof. I mean, who doesn’t love the drama-rama of scorching pain, and visual imagery seared into their eyeballs for all eternity? (Word of the day: S-E-A-R.)

Sidebar: I am the woman who will send you a zip-file attachment (from left field) of all of the things you did, because you think you are invincible, when in reality, I was always twenty steps ahead of your dumb ass. Don’t want this to happen? Don’t 👏 fuck 👏 with 👏 me.

As for the doors opening, this all depends on our reception. As previously and constantly mentioned, I believe God uses many voices to speak to us (dreams, intuition, gut instinct, etc.). The questions are, are we listening? and if we are, are we willing to hear? Same exact logic extends to doors opening. Are we seeing? and if we are seeing, are we willing to walk through them?

Ultimately, the choice (and, as ever, the accountability) is ours. But let me tell you – my life as my own evidential proof – that this. Is. Real.

There has never been a door slammed shut, without an infinity of others suddenly swinging wide open, with fresher, cleaner breezes.

Today, I am grateful for:
1. Karak. So yummy.
2. Having woken up to experience another day.
3. The recognition that dunya is not for me; that this is not where I plan on Living My Best Life.

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