The Halves

Someone sent me this quote of Rumi’s earlier, and I have not been able to shake it – A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home.

How many times have I sold myself short by loving with only half of this heart?
How many times have we done a disservice to ourselves by sticking around when we knew we were being loved to only half of their heart’s capacity?

And of course, because it’s Rumi, the only and whole Heart to take home is Allah’s.

Do you understand your own measure? Figure out what it looks like to love and be loved with a whole heart, and don’t sit for anything else. I would write that it’s because you are too special to settle for less, but that didn’t cross my mind (I mean. You might be); rather, it’s because life is already such a shit-show innit? And everything is a damned struggle, right? At the very least, amidst all of the stomping around in emotional feces, and all of the cleaning up of emotional vomit in our hair, at the very least, we should aim that our human connections fill our hearts to their greatest capacity.

Anything really, to lighten the infinite burdens and hurts we each carry.

Today, I am grateful for:
1. Having people who care about me.
2. Clean clothes.
3. Constantly striving to be better. Most especially when I feel like I hate everyone (but a few) in this world.

Ottawa | Day 240 | July 28, 2019

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