The Loss Of Love

You’re getting three photos of us because who doesn’t like spam?

My lovely day was spent with family – momma and Ranoosh. We began by waking up at the unGodly hour of 7.30 so that we might make our way over to Rana’s for breakfast. She has such a lovely little garden, to which she has been tending all summer. Breakfast and coffee between the flowers is a pretty wonderful start to any day. Kindly note that Rana and me are both wearing green; this was unplanned, though I kept sliding in next to her and pretending it was planned. In my head, where many strange and unusual things occur regularly, alhamduliLah. Like when I was pretending that we were both plants that had been plucked from her garden and in search of water for our feet.

From breakfast, we hauled it down to the water in Manotick where we ate more fish, because I have not had enough fish over the course of the last 253 days, when I’ve been having fish almost daily. Are you excited by the information which I am sharing today? It’s Eid. You’re getting all of the fun facts without the introspection. Just kidding (I know none of you come here just for my face which I like so much). Introspection in 3…2…

Jenn sent me a lovely quote – We think that our job as humans is to avoid pain […] and our job as friends is to fix each other’s pain. Maybe that’s why we all feel like failures so often – because we all have the wrong job description of love. People who are hurting don’t need Avoiders, Protectors, or Fixers. What we need are patient, loving, witnesses. People who sit quietly and hold space for us. People to stand in the helpless vigil of our pain.

She said it reminded me of her, and that alone was reason enough for me to feel all the feels. Because the quote is 100% spot on.

I believe that we have too narrowly defined the term ‘grief’ as a feeling of great sadness, especially when somebody dies; we are missing a very important piece of this puzzle, which is that grief is the pain of love lost. (Please copyright me, thank you.) And what is the only thing that we need when we are grieving / in pain? We need someone to sit next to us.

Which is to sit in the presence of love; to heal, slowly, because of this presence of love.

Today, I am grateful for:
1. The Natalies in my life. Natalie, I was just able to squeeze at a goodbye picnic without saying goodbye, but rather a see you later because this girl is heading to MENA and we aim to connect in Istanbul for a long weekend before we visit her new home in a country I won’t yet mention. And Nathalie, who is quite possibly the absolute best planner, running the show of our time together in Brazil come October, inshAllah. I am so excited for my birthday with her and Brian!
2. Rose face masks. I am addicted, and they smell like heaven.
3. Eid cookies, which no one can make like my mother can make.

Ottawa | Day 254 | August 11, 2019

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