The Balancing

You’re going to get an unusual amount of selfies this month because I’m making up for every time I placed my friends on hold this past year. Sorry? Not even close. I like this broad for two reasons. One, she has a man’s name – Jack. And because…well, she’s simply fkn great.

What did we discuss?

I mean. What didn’t we dish on?

In unrelated news.


Me: I have decided to keep writing after The Sabbatical is over. Not daily, you know, but like, regularly. Also, can I tell you that meal prep makes me irrationally angry?


Hey guys. You guys. My rose-water syrup is a best-seller for the publisher. Which is…it’s amazing and it means I receive a little badge!!!! Also, I just received the news that a bookstore in Jordan will be carrying it. And, one of the bookstores in Ottawa (Venus Envy) has sold out, and they want more. 💃

While recognizing my privilege, let me write that I have never thought that this world owed me shit. Ever. I have also always found it a gross personality trait when people feel that they are owed because they previously got the shit end of the stick. This is not to write that I haven’t fallen into the trap of asking WhyTheFMe?, which is distinctly different and of course I have. I am human and therefore prone to being a self-involved asshole. Not to mention, a writer and so dramatic about what ‘befalls’ me. BRONTË WOULD HAVE BEEN MY FRIEND, Y’ALL.

Today I realised that I have been good and happy daily for quite some time. Really and truly happy. Because I apparently can’t simply enjoy a thing without understanding it, I was wondering why this is the case.

I…I think it’s balance. Not that I am owed, but rather my life was so unbalanced and dipping into such trauma and sadness that now the Universe is balancing the floor beneath me once again. And in order to reach flat, it has to first counter all of the pain I swam in for some time.


Either way, thanks so much God. You’re swell.

In other news, Anita was here from Rome and so I totally nerded out and wore my ‘I ♥️ Rome’ t-shirt, a lovely gift from the Italian Embassy. Our coffee date (including the awesome Sharon) ran for 3 hours and we voted and agreed that next time, we must have an old school sleepover so we have time to cover all manner of things. I am excited.

(And by ”we voted and agreed”, I mean: I have decided, because I am delusional.)

Today, I am grateful for:
1. My mother thinking that I was the one nominated for a Nobel prize in literature, rather than Barnet – who reviewed rose-water syrup so beautifully. Where would we be without the love and fandom of our mommas?
2. My neighbour, for helping me take out my recycling.
3. Winter jackets. I’m already in my ankle-length parka. I don’t like being cold; I just wish someone would create a jacket lined with a portable heater.

Ottawa | Day 343 | November 8, 2019

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