What you can’t really see is that the blossoms have ranunculus among them, which is my favourite flower and it’s in its proper season. What’s important is that they remembered this is my favourite flower.

Tell me please, how do you love someone? Though I love platonic and romantic the same, I understand this is not the norm, so we can here focus on the romantic instead. It’s where people misrepresent the most, and my jam is authenticity so this world is of more interest to my surveyor’s brain.

I pay attention to the details of the things which matter to them. I see everything about them which they’ll let me see and then some, and I burrow into both. Because these two things combined are how I can do my best to love people according to who they are, and not what I wish for them to be. (I have so much shit to take care of regarding my own life, all I can manage is to support someone else’s efforts and nothing beyond this.)

Reminder: I have two love languages equal, then right on those heels, two other love languages also equal, and one that barely registers. When I love, I give. And, I love being in love.

More importantly however is that it’s how I can come closest to ensuring that I love the right man correctly, rather than a mirage he’s (misre)projecting (not a word; should be a word). If I can’t see it immediately due to circumstantial need to obfuscate, God has always stepped in.

Which is an interesting thing when we consider how much people struggle to remove their masks, and how much they project who they wish they were when they first meet someone of potential romantic interest. Since men make a decision about a woman within the first few seconds they meet her, and because women take a couple of months, this lends itself to men needing to shade for a much longer time than women. Make of that what you will.

So again, how do you love?

An ex recently visiting from out of town said I love “like a knife on fire.” Intense, searing, marking. “At knife point, a man’s either gotta bounce or be better if he’s going to be allowed to stay in your orbit.”

He didn’t lie. He made better decisions. Nearly 15 years later, we remain friends.

But Jesus all y’all men. When are you dummies going to start doing your work not under duress of losing extraordinary women (yes correct: I am one) but rather for yourselves?

I mean. Do men ever?

Here’s my Libra Sun, and then you have my Scorpio Moon –

I want to be the gentleness of the Libra, but that’s not my natural resting place. I am all Scorpio, all of the time – and that destructive part of my shadow? One, destruction (like manipulation, a post for another day) shouldn’t always be a dirty word. Two, I finally learned to temper her with age and maturity. But she’s there, always ready to destroy whatever has, or might harm the softness in me.

The gentleness of the Libra has to be a wilful and intentional choice. The only thing Libra which is natural for me is obsession (Scorpio!) with Truth and Justice, and my commitment to loving people well and as they need inshallah. The lover girl in me? She’s all Libra. The lawyer in me? Libra. Everything else is Scorpio.

So one last time – how do you love, you beautiful and stunning readers? As always, drop me a message at zimmo(dot)maha(at)gmail and you know the rest.

And bonus question – what would you change about how you love, if you needed to?

Me, nothing. Maybe I’d love less? Nah, boring, and impossible. A man who has me is a man blessed. Needs will be negotiated and life will be bliss – the intensity of Scorpio can make this commitment without the blink of an eye. Yalla.

Love you. Thank you. Owe you.

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