Last night, I sat on the porch and watched four deer play on the lake beneath the full moon. I’ve lightened this photo so you can see two of them; one is in the forefront and the second is well out in the middle of the lake. I took it as an omen of playfulness and a push to greater connection with my inner child. The world can be so lovely when we turn to simplicity, yes?

I then slept with a knife next to me. And made sure to keep Qur’an on overnight.

I weighed all of my knife options and decided on the one that could do the most damage with a stabbing motion and if used in close range. Butcher knives are great but to use them to their full effect, you really do need to swing sideways or downwards. With the kind of knife I chose, there aren’t such restrictions. Any which way, I’m taking flesh and hitting internal organs.

The knife was for any humans who decided to make stupid choices.

The Qur’an was for bad energy and jinn. It was my only night in the cabin alone, and without a car. I was completely isolated and I watch too many horror movies (to escape the real-life horrors committed by ordinary humans). I don’t have a car and if anything had happened, I would have had to leg it through some barren areas. I don’t know which berries will kill me so I likely would die in the first two hours without a nearby cafe, anyway. But I’m not letting a man take me the fuck out; I’ll take myself out thank you.

I also dropped my pin to everyone and their mother and then sent an ALIVE! message this morning. There were no shortage of jokes and of making fun of me.

Listen. At least I know which knives are better and what will my friends do when the Americans invade? They’ll ask me about knives, that’s what.

I am such a loser City Girl. Like, if ever there was even a hint of hesitation about this fact, rest assured that there is none now.

I also barricaded myself and Baldrick into my bedroom and figured out my exit strategy through the window, just in case. This morning, and after waking up to his face pressed into me as this photo illustrates, I realized I forgot to bring my boots into the bedroom so I would have been legging it in socked feet in the countryside.

I’ve never pretended to be a smart person. But I am certainly a prepared person.

Also, a new fun fact! Jazz music for longer than a day makes me aggressive. I’ve turned to pop and dance parties and I have immediately calmed. I’ve also forgotten what day it is, this is how happy I am isolated (with a knife nearby).

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